Don't
by Katiesmom07
Summary: Yet another idea in my GSR based mind of how it all started. I know this goes WAY back, but it is truly my passion. I hope you enjoy taking a journey back in time with me. NOTE: Rating changed to M 'cause my filter was thrown out! LOL! NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Darkness engulfed him

Don't

Comments: Okay, so anyone who has read my fics, knows that my "thing" is creating a story about the development of the initial "relationship" we all love to call GSR. I know I haven't written in quite a while (I took some time and had a beautiful baby girl) but I hope my skills aren't too rusty.

For this story specifically, it isn't placed during any specific time and follows absolutely no preset storyline. I just have this flow in my mind that comes up with these happenstances. I will try to post as often as possible, but be patient with me since I do have a 1-yr old and she takes up a lot of my free time.

I am so glad to be back at my writing and hope you all enjoy. Please review! It feeds my soul!

Disclaimer: Truly, I own nothing but the ideas and the errors.

Chapter 1

Darkness engulfed him. Silence surrounded him. Peace and tranquility filled the spaces between jars of experiments and specimens, shadow boxes of insects and the cluttered desk that would never see organization again. The smooth, cool surface of the leather couch provided yet another comfort in the sanctuary he called his office.

But no matter his surroundings, his mind was always in turmoil, plagued by his latest encounter with the pair of piercing brown eyes and gapped-tooth smile that he saw even when he slept. As of late, each run-in was worse than the last, the final one ending with tears pooling in the chocolate orbs that seemed to hold a part of him. Yet somehow, even though he hurt a part of himself each time he hurt her, the next pain came and went without so much as a blink of an eye.

It was the aftermath that finally made his usually conscious brain think about his earlier actions. This time was no different than the last and probably the next. It would start with a crossing of paths, either at a scene, in the garage or in a lab. Work would proceed as normal, both content to operate with or around the other as was needed to smoothly process the evidence. Then it would happen. He would make a comment, or not make one, which sometimes made things even worse, or flash a look in her direction. In that moment he would watch her melt into herself as she retreated as far away from him as possible. Once he lost her, he would punish himself. As his body involuntarily brought on a migraine, he would send himself to his office, separating himself from the rest of humanity.

And here he was, yet again, wishing for the pounding in his head to cease and hoping for the power to heal both himself and the brunette that he continued to hurt.

He awoke groggy, as usual, with a light pressure still present being his eyes, reminding him of the situation that had brought him to this point. With a roll of his neck he slowly rose and took the few steps needed to reach his desk. Without turning on any lights, he grabbed the keys from his desk, wanting nothing more than to go home and find whatever comfort he could in a hot shower and the cool feel of his own sheets.

But his plan was interrupted by the buzz against his hip. He blew out a frustrated breath as he rolled his eyes behind closed lids before answering, "Grissom."

"Hey."

"What can I do for you Jim?"

"You sound tired. You okay?"

"I just woke up."

"Good. Glad you got some rest because I got a body here with your name written all over it."

Twenty minutes later, Grissom pulled up in his company-issued Denali and met Jim Brass, homicide detective and his best friend, beside the yellow tape that separated him from a work-filled morning.

"Thought you said you got some sleep? You look like hell."

With a smirk, "Well, thank you Jim. I slept on the couch in my office. And I feel like hell too."

"Hmm. Thought those were the same clothes. I hope Sara looks better than you." His last comment earned him the over-the-glasses, one-eyebrow-raised look from his tired friend. He continued to fill him in on the scene before asking, "You okay here? I'll leave Daniels here."

"I'm fine. Tell him to get out of this heat. Wait in his car."

"You got it. Call if you need anything."

Absentmindedly, "Yeah." His mind was at work. Away from what was bothering him, he did what he did best. He lost himself in the job, letting the evidence take over. He took picture after picture, collected bug after bug and swabbed sample after sample. His knees cracked as he stood, protesting the constant bending.

He jerked at the voice behind him, "How long have you been on your knees?"

He took a deep breath before answering, "A while."

"You know you'll pay for that later. Why didn't you call me sooner?"

His brow furrowed. "I _didn't_ call you at all."

He felt the silence behind him and realized he'd done it again. _Damn it! _He turned to see her walking away. With his aching knees protesting, he carefully took the steps to follow her. "Sara, wait!" He caught her arm as she was getting back into her vehicle. "Wait." Their eyes locked and he found tears he had created yet again. Silence loomed as he searched for the right words. Only two came to mind. "I'm sorry."

Her eyebrows rose, temporarily hiding the sadness in her eyes with a hint of shock. Silently, she wiped tears that hadn't fallen and curtly nodded her head. He took a step back as she gently pushed her way to her feet, amazed that his few words had gotten him so far.

"What do you need me to do?"

_Forgive me._ "I'm just about done actually. I was just about to call it a day."

She flashed a raised-eyebrow look over her shoulder as she walked back toward his pile of bagged evidence, "Meaning you were about to take everything back to the lab and start the insect timeline?"

He smiled, loving how well she new him. "Something like that."

She started gathering bags and plastic containers and carried them to her SUV, automatically switching to work mode. With their last encounter in the back of their minds, they focused on the task at hand. As she shut the back hatch, she asked without turning, "Would it do me any good if I told you to get some rest before starting this?"

He rubbed the back of his sore neck, wanting to give in to his desire to sleep between the cool sheets on his bed waiting for him at home, but his words opposed, "You know I can't."

Her shoulders heaved. Yes, she knew. With one last effort, "Will you let me help?" She held her breath as she waited.

He laughed inwardly, thinking of all of his evidence piled in the back of her SUV. Did he really have a choice? But more importantly, why did she continue to return to him time and time again, always wanting to help? He could solve some of the most complex problems in the scientific world, but that question, he couldn't answer. Sighing, he gave in, knowing that, if he didn't, he was sure to never find his answer. "I'd like that."

She turned and he was granted the huge, gapped-tooth smile that he adored. _Did she expect him to refuse? _With a shrug, he decided not to question it.


	2. Chapter 2

He got to the office before her, which was unusual since she normally drove 10 miles an hour faster than him, but he decided t

He was shocked when he got to the lab before her, knowing that she drove, on average, about ten miles per hour faster than he did, but decided instead of questioning it he would use this time to prepare for the work to come.

Twenty minutes later she walked past his office carrying bags and bags of evidence to the nearest open room. He stepped out of his office and followed her into the room just as she dropped the contents of her over-filled arms onto the lit table.

She waited for the question, but was shocked when he didn't question where she'd been, but simply asked, "Anything left to carry in, or should I just start sorting?"

As she turned and walked past him, "I can get the rest. Why don't you start here and find the things you need?" Without waiting for a response, she headed back for the doors.

He found her fifteen minutes later sitting at his desk. The once strewn-about paperwork was neatly piled in two stacks at one corner of the desk, his textbooks had been returned to their places in the bookshelf, take-out containers with steaming food were placed in front of the open chair and she was perched in his seat with her feet curled in front of her, grabbing at noodles with chopsticks. With a raised eyebrow, "So this is where you were. Hungry?"

After swallowing, "I figured we'd be here a while, because nothing comes before your bugs. And since you're wearing the same clothes as last shift, you never went home last night, which means you also haven't eaten."

He took a few steps toward the available chair in front of his desk, which he rarely sat in, "Reaffirming my choice to hire you."

"So, you said I could help. This is me helping, by keeping you healthy. You eat; I'll work. You can talk me thru it."

He started to protest, "Sara, I-"

"Grissom, don't. Don't make excuses."

"I wasn't going to make excuses. I just-"

She stood in anger, slamming her container of food into the trash, "You know, you used to like teaching me." A Tear rolled down her cheek that she quickly wiped away, "Remember that? What happened?" Her voice faltered with her last comment as she all but ran out of the room.

For the first time in his life, he couldn't care less about the evidence. He stood, dropping the plastic containers onto the chair he'd vacated and went after her.

He heard her sobs thru the ladies' room door. Taking a look both ways down the hallway, he slipped into the door. She was leaning on a sink, one arm on both sides of running water, steaming out of control. He silently walked over to turn off the scalding water. They stood in silence until she finally spoke, "This is the ladies' room."

He breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that she could find a little humor behind her tears, "Sara, I…"

"It's okay Grissom. You don't have to do this."

Frustrated, he ran fingers thru his almost non-existent hair, "Yes, I do, Sara." Surprised by his omission, she remained silent as she turned and crossed her arms over her chest.

He was silent for a moment, searching for the right words, wanting to tell her how he felt, but hoping his words didn't lower his level of intelligence, "I want to teach you. Please come back."

He wasn't prepared for her response, "Why?"

It was his turn to cross his arms. Just as he always had been in the past, he was afraid of the statement his heart wanted him to say. But some part of him decided it couldn't put him in any worse of a position than he was already in. Lowering his eyes to the floor, like a child confessing to his mother, "Because I miss it." Silence lingered as he shuffled his feet. Finally gathering the nerve, he looked up to find a slight close-lipped smile upon her face, the last of her tears settled in her bottom lashes. With very little confidence, he reached his hand toward her.

Seconds felt like hours while his vulnerability grew. He hoped she would take his hand to follow him, but knew there was no good reason why she should. He'd hurt her more times than he could count. His insecurity caused him to push her away time and time again, and although his heart longed for her, his mind always overruled. Somehow, though, his mind was suffering without her. Rational thought told him that he needed part of her with him.

He wasn't really sure what part of her it was he needed, but he hoped, at least right now, to try filling his void with her mind. It was what attracted him to her to begin with. Her uninterrupted focus on him during that first lecture that half the class had fallen asleep during. The scribbling of notes in a notebook she seemed to never look down at, the coffee that was steaming when she'd come in, but had gone untouched and the endless questions she'd waited so patiently to ask once all the other students rushed out of the lecture hall. He needed her mind. She was right; he needed to teach her.

In a whisper, "Let me teach you, Sara."

Finally, after an excruciatingly long stretch of time, she placed her delicate hand in his and followed as he retraced their steps and guided her back to her seat in his office chair. He placed all of the needed samples on his desk in front of her and obligingly took a seat and picked up a take-out container as he began to speak.

"First, you need to identify all of the species I collected. You'll need to create a detailed chart with a timeline. You'll need to keep live specimens healthy until they've completed their life cycle to pinpoint time of death." He glanced across his desk at her, "Questions?" She wiped the remnants of her tears away and shook her head as she swiftly took out the pad of paper he'd placed on his desk earlier.

Once again, the past was forgotten, and they were back at work. Focused on the task at hand, she worked as he instructed, taking in every word as if it were his last. They were a team.

He noted the passing hours by her yawns and stretches, and finally called a halt when she started rubbing her eyes. "Okay, let's wrap this up. We both need some rest. We'll continue this tonight."

With heavy eyes, she glanced across the desk at him, before lowering her head to her crossed arms on the desk. He chuckled silently, knowing that she would have worked straight thru to next shift if he'd asked her to.

After a glance to make sure everything was sealed, he went to the evidence room to gather everything else into a box. He dropped off a few items in trace, before heading back to his office, finding her sound asleep at his desk. Leaning against the doorframe, he took in the beauty of her. The silky strands of her dark hair were haphazardly pulled from the loose bun at the back of her head held in by a stray pencil, her make-up free creamy skin had a slight sheen to it and her face was a picture of peace.

His thoughts were interrupted by a voice from behind him, "Am I paying you two right now?"

Without turning, "We've been working straight thru since yesterday."

"Doesn't look like you're working to me."

Turning, and taking a step toward the man that always seemed to raise his blood pressure, "Don't you have somewhere else to linger, Conrad?"

"Just trying to keep an eye on the budget."

His hands curled into fists, "We work harder in an hour than you work in a day. Why don't you weasel yourself back to your office and leave us alone?"

With a sly-like smirk, "Hmm, interesting that you chose the word 'us'."

"Step away from me, Conrad, before one of _us_ gets hurt."

Momentarily pausing, "Fine, but I'll be keeping an eye on the two of you."

"You do that." He watched as the skinny annoyance slinked away, pleading for his heart rate to slow. Taking a few deep breaths, he turned into his office and went straight for the one person that could calm him. With a touch to her arm, "Sara, wake up." She started to stir. "Come on, let's get you home."

She stretched and slowly stood. "Sorry, how long was I asleep?"

"Just long enough for me to clean up. Let's get out of here." They walked to the parking lot and she squinted against the bright sun. He grabbed her elbow, "Come on, I'll drive."

"But-"

He stopped to look at her, "Don't Sara. Just…don't."

She silently followed as he led her to his car, questions streaming thru her mind. The car ride was quiet, neither knowing what to say. When he stopped the car in the parking lot of her apartment building, she sat still as he got out and came around to her side of the car to open her door. She listened as the beep of the alarm sounded behind them as he followed her with a hand penetrating heat at the small of her back. Her heart skipped a beat with the feel of his breath on her neck as she unlocked the security door and the heat his proximity was creating as she opened the door to her apartment.

It was then that she turned toward him, his face merely inches from hers, "Do you want to come in?"

"Yes." There was a slight pause, "But I can't."

Here breath caught as her head lowered. She was shocked by the feel of his lips against the top of her head. "Don't, Sara. Just, let it be. I'll be back to pick you up an hour before shift. Sleep."

With that he turned and left. He had given her all he could.


	3. Chapter 3

In the next few weeks, they worked together as much as possible

In the next few weeks, they worked together as much as possible. He taught her everything he could think to and she hung on his every word. They hadn't argued and he'd managed not to make her cry since the night in his office. He'd driven her home a couple times, each time, she'd give him the chance to come in with her. Each time he declined, hoping his denial wouldn't push her away. But her head never hung and her smile never left her face. But he could see the longing in her eyes for him to give in. Although his lips longed to touch her skin, he'd never repeated his actions from the first night, terrified that the intimate contact might break down his walls. So days went by, with him being satisfied by captivating her mind and her seemingly content with his attention to her.

Glad to be at work, she walked into the break room to find everyone already gathered; everyone but Grissom. She hadn't seen him in two days, since they'd both had the previous day off, and wondered where he was since he hadn't been in his office when she'd passed.

Her confusion rose when Catherine started handing out assignments. "Wait. Where's Grissom."

Seemingly uninterested, "Left yesterday. Gone for a few days. Had some conference he was giving lectures at."

She continued with assignments, with Sara barely paying any attention. _Why hadn't he told her he was going away?_ Her anger rose as she wondered whether the past few weeks had just been a game for him. Just when she thought he was really starting to become her friend again, this happened. She heard her name called, and without even listening to her full instructions, she stood and snatched the slip from Catherine and stormed out, not caring about the looks she was getting behind her.

She headed for her scene, with music blasting, her anger felt by the pounding of her heart in her chest. Jim was waiting for her when she screeched to a halt. "Hey, speedy. You okay?"

"Is there a reason I shouldn't be?"

"Well, Catherine said you stormed out and didn't even wait for Nicky, who was supposed to be working with you on this one."

She flushed, "I, I'm just having a bad day, I guess."

"Figured."

"What are you doing here anyway, Jim? Isn't this a robbery?"

"Yeah, yeah it is. But when I heard something was up with my girl, I had to come check it out. Besides, Grissom's been calling me every five minutes."

Her eyes shot to his, "Grissom? I thought he was away?"

"He is. He's been trying to call you. Says your phone is off."

She quickly searched her pocket and found her cell, immediately powering it on. When it registered 13 messages, foolishness washed over her. "Why didn't he call me at home?"

"He only has your cell programmed into his. Nicky's on his way to take over here. Get outta here before you get caught up collecting."

"Why do I need to leave?"

"Call him. He sounds like hell. He needs you."

With her mind filled with questions, she jumped back into her SUV, hitting the speed dial as she revved up the engine. Rather than his normal greeting, she heard a very raspy, "Where have you been?"

"Grissom? What's wrong?"

He sounded very weak, "Sick. Need you to come here. Where were you?"

"My phone was off. I must have accidentally hit the button, I don't know." She paused, giving her mind time to catch up. "Come where?"

She listened as he coughed in her ear, trying to remember if he'd ever been sick before. "Tickets booked for you already. Flight at midnight." Another coughing fit followed as she glanced at the clock on her dash. It was already 10:30. "Bring warm clothes."

"Grissom, it's 10:30. I don't have time to pack and get to the airport for a flight at midnight."

"Please. I need you."

"Could you have possibly thought about that before you left without telling me?"

"Called you. No answer. Please don't yell."

"I'm sorry. Okay, okay. I'm on my way. I'll call you whenever I get to wherever you are."

"Thank you."

"Welcome."

She was just about to hang up when he whispered, "Sara…my Sara…"

Without a response, she flipped her phone closed. He was really sick. He didn't mean it.

Nine hours later, she stepped off the plane into frigged weather, with only the overnight bag she carried in the back of her SUV. Luckily, she'd had her heavy coat in the back. There was snow everywhere, even the runway, which was probably typical in New York State, but definitely not in Las Vegas.

As she made her way thru the crowds, she dialed Grissom again. He sounded even weaker, "You made it."

"It's not hard to follow a flight schedule. Where do I go now?"

"Across the street. Holiday Inn. Room 46. Key at the front desk waiting for you."

"Be right there."

It turned out that across the street meant across a four-lane road, but she made it none-the-less. She got the key to her room with no problem, planned on dropping her bags in her room then finding out which room he was in, but was shocked when she opened the door to find him in the room she thought would be hers.

There were tissues and boxes everywhere and he was sprawled across the bed in lounge pants and a white t-shirt. She'd never seen him look this bad. She dropped her bag and rushed to him, immediately putting her wrist to his forehead. "You're burning up! Have you taken anything?"

He groaned. "I'll take that as a 'no'." She picked up the phone and dialed the front desk. "Hi, Sara Sidle, room 46. Is there a physician staying in the hotel for the convention that could come to my room? I realize you can't tell me that, but if there is and you could call, I'd appreciate it. I'm here with Dr. Grissom, who is extremely ill. I'm sure several people from the conference know him."

She got up to gather all of the trash strewn across the room before returning to the bed by his side with a glass of cold water from the bathroom tap. "Drink this." She held the back of his head as he sipped at the water. "What were you thinking coming here if you were this sick?"

His head fell back to the pillow, "Got sick on the plane."

There was a knock on the door. "I hope that's a doctor."

She went to the door and was thankful that the person on the other side was, in fact, a doctor. "Hello, I'm Dr. Brucken. The desk called my room and said Gil was sick."

"Thank you so much."

"It's not a problem. Gil and I have been to several of these things together."

"He's pretty sick. I've never seen him like this."

He stepped in and walked over to the bed, saying over his shoulder, "Well, this is a pretty big climate change for him. He should've taken some extra vitamin C, although I know how stubborn he is, so telling him that is pointless. Glad to see he finally got a good woman to take care of him." She thought to correct him, but was interrupted by his non-stop talking. "Without running any tests, I'd say he's caught the flu-bug that's going around."

He felt for a temperature and pulse, then poked and prodded around his neck. "Does this hurt?" His response was a groan and a cough. "Mmm. Probably got it on the plane. Damn things harbor germs. I'll just go get my pad and write him a script for some antibiotics and something to help this cough." He stood and walked to the door. "I'll leave the scripts at the front desk for you. Make him drink plenty of water and grab some vitamin C drops at the drug store when you go. And if he needs someone to cover his lectures, just let me know. I'll find someone to do them."

"Thanks, but I think that's why he called me."

"Hmm, pretty _and_ smart. You don't find that too often. Guess Gil's caught himself a good one. I guess I'll see you tonight then." With that he turned and walked away, leaving Sara slightly stunned and a little confused.

She returned to the bed to sit beside him. "Is that why you called me? To do your lectures for you?"

"No. Yes. I needed you."

"You keep telling me that. What's the lecture about? Do you have any notes?"

"Three lectures. One tonight. 'Distinction among the puparia of three blowfly species frequently found on unburied corpses'."

"I've barely gotten full sentences out of you until now, but _that_ you can quote. Bugs really are your life. Okay, where are your notes? Please say you have some."

"In my briefcase. Full lecture. Given it before."

"Great! At least all I have to do is read."

She went to stand but he grabbed her wrist. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Did you rent a car? I need to get to the drugstore."

"Keys in my pants pocket."

"Okay. I'll be back in a little bit. Do you want anything special?"

His last words were mumbled as he drifted back to sleep, "Just you."


	4. Chapter 4

She arrived back to the room to find him still asleep, snoring peacefully

Notes: Hey everybody! Thanks for reading and reviewing!! I'm so glad everyone's enjoying this fic. It feels good to get my fingers moving again! This is a short one. My chapters are short, but my fics are long! I hope to have the next chapter up pretty quick though. Enjoy!

She arrived back to the room to find him still asleep, snoring peacefully. She unloaded the bags onto the table as quietly as possible and stuffed the small fridge with the juices, fruits and yogurts she'd bought. Deciding not to wake him, she looked for his lecture so she could read thru it. Along with the transcript, she found the conference schedule. Glancing down the list, she found the he was scheduled for two more lectures, one on 'Insect activity and its role in the decomposition of human cadavers' and the other on 'A preliminary study on the constitution and succession of insect community on a pig carcass in Las Vegas, NV.'

He began to stir just as she'd finished the last of the lecture she was to present that evening. She went to his side, medication in hand, determined to get him started on his antibiotics. A slight smile came across his face as he found her by his side. "Hi."

"Hi, yourself. I need you to take your medicine. Can you sit up?" He sat up slowly, with her help. He drank down some cough syrup and swallowed a pill before she lowered him back to the bed. "Do you feel any better at all?"

"Since you came."

"Hmm. Well, your lecture is in about an hour. Do you want me to get you anything before I go?"

"Don't go."

"I have to do your lecture. I'll only be gone for a little over an hour. I'm going to stop by the front desk to book myself a room."

"No rooms. All booked for the conference. You stay with me."

She chuckled inwardly. She's waited all her life for him to ask her to spend the night with him. Now it was happening, but it wasn't at all like she'd pictured. "Okay, my sick man. I'll stay with you. Go back to sleep." And he did just that.

Forty-five minutes later, she slipped quietly out of the room to the lecture hall. The room was packed when she got there, all of them expecting to get a speech from the famous Dr. Grissom. She only hoped that most of them would not walk out when they realized he was not there, but figured she should at least give them the chance in case that was the only reason they were there.

She cleared her throat and gathered everyone's attention. "If I could have everyone take their seats, I have an announcement to make before the lecture." A few moments later, "My name is Sara Sidle. I work with Dr. Grissom, who regretfully, due to illness, cannot make it tonight. I assure you that you will be receiving the same lecture as he graciously has provided his transcript, although I do understand if you wish to leave." She was grateful when no one got up.

An hour later, she finished up the lecture by asking if anyone had any questions, thankful that there were only a few, and that they were ones she could answer. A few professors and other criminalists came up to thank her for the lecture and to ask her to give Gil their best. Once she was able, she hurried back to the room.

He stirred as she entered. "How'd it go?"

"It went fine. Everyone sends their best."

Coughing first, "Knew you could do it."

"Thanks. Do you want something to eat? I got some fruit. Or I could order up some soup."

"Soup. Maybe." Then with a groan, "Bathroom."

"Do you need help getting up?"

"No. Maybe. No."

Giving him his space, she ordered room service while she watched him stubbornly struggle to make it to the bathroom. It seemed to take forever for him to return, and almost moments after he got back into bed, there was a knock at the door.

She'd ordered soup for the two of them and she was shocked that he was so weak that he could barely lift the spoon to his mouth. Silently, she went to his side and took the spoon from him. He didn't protest as she'd thought he would, but instead leaned his head back against the wall. His hair was tussled, and obviously in need of a wash, he skin was strikingly white and his eyes were filled with weariness.

After about half of the soup was gone, he started to protest, and she didn't push him to eat any more. She felt his forehead again, "You're still burning up. You need some more Tylenol." She shook some pills into his hand and gave him a drink of water. "Now sleep." He scooted down in the bed without argument and quickly fell asleep. She stood and stared at him in peaceful slumber before she was interrupted by the buzz of her phone. "Sidle."

"Hey, kiddo. How's he doing?"

"Hey, Jim. He's pretty sick. Sleeping right now."

"You takin' care of him?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not that I can see. I mean, I'm his best friend, but all he could manage on the phone was to tell me he needed you. Gotta say, hurt my feelings a little."

"Yeah right! Like you actually wanted to come take care of his sick behind and make his lectures."

"Yeah, you're right. Besides, I'm sure he'd rather have you wash his back than me."

"Hanging up now, Jim."

With a chuckle, "K, Kiddo. Take care of him."

"You got it."

She flipped her phone shut and headed for her bag, glad that she had a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt. She changed quickly in the bathroom and decided an early night would probably be best since she had an early lecture to give. With that thought, she went to his briefcase to check for notes on the next lecture.

There were scattered notes, but she wasn't lucky enough to have a full transcript for this one. Taking a spot on the other side of the king-sized bed, she piled the notes on her lap and started to sort. An hour passed before she got everything in some sort of order. She was just about to make another read-thru when he rolled over and flung an arm over her lap and the notes. Gently lifting his arm, she placed it back by his side, only for him to put it right back. With a huff, she lifted his arm to remove the notes, and let his arm fall back onto her lap.

She spent another half hour reading thru the notes again, until she was satisfied she'd gotten everything she could out of them and put them on the bedside table before turning out the light and scooting down on the bed. Her whole body stiffened when he pulled her tightly to his body. She gently pulled away, but his strength overwhelmed her.

"Sara."

"Grissom, you need to sleep. You're sick."

"Sara."

"I'm here, but you have to let me go."

"No."

"Yes, Grissom. You're sick. You have no idea what you're doing."

"Sara. My Sara. Stay with me."

With a frustrated sigh, she gave in to his sickly plea. "Okay. I'll stay with you. Sleep."

He pulled her closer to him, her back pressed against his side and his hot breath blowing against her neck. Her body stiffened again when his moist lips met the bare flesh of her neck. Just one quick kiss, but it burned a permanent spot into skin that would never heal. As she felt his breathing even out to a slow steady pace, she too, found sleep. A peaceful, sound sleep overcame her that she'd never felt before. She was safe in his embrace, comfortable with the fact that even though he would remember nothing in the morning, tonight, he needed her.


	5. Chapter 5

Somehow in the night, she'd ended up facing him, curled up to his side with her head on his chest and his arm wrapped protecti

Somehow in the night, she'd ended up facing him, curled up to his side with her head on his chest and his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders. She was surprised to find him awake when she looked up to his face. Shyly she looked down as she tried to push away, but he didn't loosen his grasp.

"Don't Sara. Just…don't."

She rested her head again on his chest, "How are you feeling?"

"Good."

"Really or are you lying?"

"I don't lie. I feel a little weak. I'm starving. But I'm okay." He followed this by a coughing fit. She giggled before he added, "And I have a bad cough."

"That's more like it. What time is it?"

She felt his body twist under her. "6:48. In a hurry?"

"One of us has a lecture at nine. And by the sound of that cough, I'd say it's me."

"How did last night's go?"

"You don't remember asking me that last night?"

"No, I don't remember much about yesterday honestly."

"You were pretty sick. I've never seen you so out of it. You weren't even speaking in complete sentences."

"I hope I wasn't offensive."

"No, you were just…not you."

He started to run fingers thru her hair, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. You were sick. You couldn't help it. Your temperature must have been 102 or higher."

"I must have caught it on the plane. I was fine when I left Vegas."

"That's what the doctor said."

"What doctor?"

"Wow! You really were sick! I had a physician come take a look at you. He's here at the conference. Dr. Brucken. He says he knows you."

"Yes, Steve Brucken. He must have loved seeing you here."

"He was pretty pleased. Why is that?"

"Oh, every conference we're at together, he takes it upon himself to point out that I still don't have a ring on my finger. He tries to point out all my flaws and explain how I need to change to get a wife like his. See, he has the perfect marriage, evidently, and has decided that every man who isn't married has something wrong with him."

"There's nothing wrong with not being married. And there's nothing wrong with you. He has no idea what he's talking about. Although, he did say I was pretty _and_ smart."

"He was wrong about that, too." Her eyes swung up to his, "You, my dear, are beautiful and extremely intelligent."

"Oh, I…thank you."

"You're more than welcome. Thank you for coming here to rescue me."

"Well, somebody's gotta take care of you, might as well be me."

"Then I'm a pretty lucky guy." He leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead. But what started as a romantic gesture, quickly turned around as it triggered another coughing fit, this time nearly unstoppable. She got up and rushed for a glass of water while he nearly lost his breath, coughing until he turned blue in the face.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally caught his breath and calmed his cough. She gave him another dose of his antibiotic, Tylenol and his cough medicine, before the worried look disappeared from her face. "You okay?"

"Chest hurts. But I'll live."

"Okay, I need a shower, and if I'm not pressing my luck, so do you. So, how about I jump in then while you take your shower I'll go grab us breakfast and come back?"

"Do I really have a choice?"

"No."

"Okay, then, sounds good."

She disappeared behind the bathroom door and he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding in. His mind was screaming that he was absolutely crazy, but it was his heart that was guiding his every move. For once in his life, he was letting his heart take over. His only problem was that it scared the hell out of him.

When she emerged from the bathroom, steam rolling out behind her, her wet curls still shimmering and untamed and clothes fit like a glove to still damp skin, his breath caught again. Lord what this woman could do to him. He rose as quickly as his sick body would let him and shut himself inside the bathroom, seemingly as far away from her as possible. But his senses were immediately assaulted behind the closed door. Her scent still lingered in the moist air and her footprints were left on the damp towel that covered the floor. When he closed his eyes, he could hear the sound of the water running over her body and envision droplets of water dripping down her body to places his heart dreamed to touch, but only his mind could take him.

A knock on the door he was leaning on, brought him from his fantasy. "Grissom? I'll be right back. I'm going to grab breakfast. You okay?"

His heart was pounding in his chest as he tried to force his voice to remain calm. "I'm fine."

When he heard the room's door open and shut, he ran his hands over his face before moving to the shower.

He stepped out of the bathroom mere minutes later after his quick shower in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, having forgotten any clothing in his haste to make it into the bathroom. The gasp from across the room shocked him more than her.

She spun around and stammered thru an incoherent apology, "I'm sorry. I left and then you…but I didn't know…"

"Sara, don't."

"I brought back the coffee because I couldn't carry anything else."

"Sara. Don't."

"I didn't realize-"

She stopped dead with the feel of his hands on her shoulders. "Sara, please…don't."

"I'll, uh, just go get the rest of breakfast."

She tried to pull away from him, but he tightened his grasp on her shoulders. When she stilled, he turned her to face him, her eyes burning holes in the floor. He hooked one finger under her chin and lifted her head to face him. With her eyes still downcast, "Sara, look at me." Her chocolate brown orbs rose to meet his eyes, "Don't, Sara. Just, let it be."

She swallowed the lump that had risen in her throat, "Grissom, please let me go get the rest of our breakfast. I can't breathe."

He chuckled before letting her go. How could a man refuse that? He resisted the urge to remain in the towel and instead rummaged thru his bag for something else to wear. He finally settled on a pair of jeans, deciding dress slacks would be even more uncomfortable and boxer shorts would surely send Sara into turmoil.

He'd just thrown on a t-shirt and had run fingers thru his hair as an unusual knock came at the door. He opened the door to find Sara balancing two plates. "Sorry, my hands were kind of full." With a smirk, he stepped aside and waited for her to come in. "You look a lot better."

"Yeah, I think the shower was good for me."

"Is that all that was good for you?"

_Was she flirting with him? Damn, he should have kept the towel on. Well, two could play at that game._ "That and waking up beside you this morning."

"Hmm, glad I could help."

"Me too. I might even make it to tomorrow's lecture."

"Meanwhile, you need to eat to keep up your strength. Want to sit at the table?"

"I think I can manage that."

"Great, then you can make sure I understand my lecture."

"I love when you're bossy."

"Good thing."

They settled into their seats and chatted over breakfast, falling into the comfortable roles they'd created, him teacher, her student. It wasn't until she glanced at the clock that she jumped from her seat and into the bathroom to get ready for the lecture.

He raised his voice to talk to her thru the closed door, "You know, you might want to go shopping after this morning's lecture."

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Well, there's a formal dinner tonight for all of the speakers."

"I'm not a registered speaker, you are."

"But you did stand in for me and you're giving more than half my lectures."

She opened the door, "You know, you seem to be well enough. Why don't you give this lecture?"

He rubbed at his throat, "No, my throat's still scratchy. I don't want to morph into a coughing fit in front of everyone. But maybe I'll come listen."

Sarcastically, "Great, but I'm still not going to that dinner, you are."

"Sara, you-"

"Grissom, I'm not arguing with you. I have to go. I don't want to be late." She picked up the notes and headed for the door, saying over her shoulder, "I'll be back in an hour." His laugh followed her as she quickly walked down the hall.


	6. Chapter 6

About a quarter of the way thru the lecture, she heard the back door open and watched as he tried to creep in and find a seat

About a quarter of the way thru the lecture, she heard the back door open and watched as he tried to creep in and find a seat. He'd changed into slacks and a polo shirt, but she could tell from his movements that he still wasn't quite up to par. She continued thru her speech, determined not to let her voice falter. Applause followed her completion, along with a string of questions. Several people came up to thank her, but her thoughts were focused on Grissom and her eyes searched the crowd for his face.

It was Dr. Brucken who got her attention, though. "Hello, Ms. Sidle. Your lecture was terrific."

"Thank you, but really it was Dr. Grissom's research that made it what it was."

"Yes, but you were very eloquent."

"Well, thank you."

"How is Gil, by the way?"

She was about to answer when she was interrupted, "I'm feeling much better, Steve. Thanks for coming by."

A handshake between the two men followed. "Hey, Gil, glad to see you up an about. Your lady here is a really smart cookie."

His arm snaked around her waist, drawing her hip against his, "I like to think so."

"Let's catch up at dinner tonight. What do you say?"

With a tug at her hip, "I don't know. _Dear, _will we be attending dinner tonight?"

She smirked, "I guess that depends on whether you're buying me a new dress."

The doctor chuckled, "Ooh, and she's foxy too. You got yourself a good catch Gil! So, you buyin' this lady a dress or what?"

Her eyes found his, not expecting to see the desire she found floating in the blue pools. With a husky hint to his voice, he replied, "I'll buy her anything she wants."

Not even noticing the exchange, "Good then. See you both tonight. I'll make sure we're at the same table." He left without waiting for a response, leaving the two lost in each other's eyes.

"I guess I need to go shopping."

"I guess I need to take you."

She broke their eye contact and poked his chest, "_You_ are going to rest! I don't know what you're trying to pull out here, pretending you're well enough to gallivant about. You're sick!"

His eyes sparkled, "God I love when you're bossy!"

"You've used that line."

He wrapped both arms around her waist and pulled her to him, "Ah, My Dear, but it's not a line if it's the truth."

"You know, I kind of like you when you're sick."

"You know, I like me when I'm sick too. Let's go get you a dress."

She pushed against his chest, "No! I'm not joking. You're going to rest."

"I'm fine, Sara. Let me come with you."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Listen. Ground rules. I'll go buy a new dress for you, even though I _hate_ to shop, and I'll go to dinner tonight with you, even though I _hate _these types of things, but you have to promise to take your medicine and relax for the rest of the day."

"If that's what it takes."

Satisfied by the immediate result, but not at all sure he'd follow thru, they walked back to their room before she left to find the nearest mall.

The desk clerk directed her to a mall less than ten miles away and she parked in front of the first department store, trying to avoid the Saturday crowd in the mall as much as possible. She wasted no time finding a dress, the appropriate accessories and then even splurged and bought a new pair of slacks, a sweater and a pair of pajamas without even trying them on. In less than two hours she was back on the road toward the hotel.

She was happy to find him asleep when she returned to the room. He stirred when she set her bags down, and without even opening his eyes, reached an arm out to her. Obligingly, she went to his side, deciding to give in to his charade rather than fight it. All the while, she was trying to convince herself she could let it go when they got back home.

With his eyes still closed, "See, I was good. I took a nap."

"And do you think you deserve a prize for that?"

A smirk came over his face and he cracked open one eye, "Yes."

"And what do you think that should be?"

There was a moment of silence as he pondered his reward. "Sleep with me."

"Excuse me?"

"You told me I had to rest or you wouldn't come with me tonight. Dinner's not for a few more hours. The only way I can follow orders is to stay in bed and rest. So…sleep with me."

She wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed with him, to sleep away the day with his strong arms around her. But her mind protested, reminding her that, once he was well and his mind was clear, he would go back to being the same Grissom and he'd been before, and her broken heart would need to heal. "How about we compromise?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"I'll order lunch. We'll eat. You take your next dose of medication, and then we'll take a nap before we get ready to go tonight."

"I think that sounds fair."

"Good."

He draped an arm around her waist while she ordered lunch, then once she hung up, "Can I see your dress?"

She thought for a moment, then, "No. I want to surprise you." He pretended to pout. "That look won't get you anywhere." He huffed. "Where's your suit? Do you need to lay it out?"

"I sent it to be pressed. Can I at least know the color?"

"Purple."

"Hmm. Your favorite."

"You know my favorite color?"

He propped himself up on one elbow with a concerned look on his face. In a whisper, "God, Sara, of course I know your favorite color."

Pursing her lips, "And what else do you know about me?"

He pushed himself into an upright position and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I know that you are addicted to work, much like myself. I know that you probably have never turned your stove on, but are a pro at ordering takeout. I know that your favorite necklace is that silver one with the square tipped in its corner. I know that you have some secret from your childhood that makes abuse cases nearly unbearable for you and I know that I have hurt you, more times than I care to mention."

"Hmm, pretty good."

He watched as the sparkle danced thru her eyes. "I also know that I want to know more."

"What else do you want to know about me?"

Softly, "Everything." He searched her eyes, swirling with a mixture of passion and questions. For a moment, he struggled with the vision of seeing that passion without question. He wanted nothing more than to push away all of her doubts and gather her in his arms, while whispering sweet nothings in her ear.

A knock on the door stopped his fantasy. Frustrated, "Could that be lunch already?"

She stood and walked to the door on somewhat wobbly legs and answered the door to find a bellhop holding a garment bag at shoulder height. She handed over a tip before shutting the door. "I believe it's your suit."

He swung his legs over the bed, stood, stretched and walked to the window. She hung his suit in the closet and joined him, looking out at the white snow. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"I was just trying to remember the last time I had any fresh air."

"That is not the type of fresh air you're looking for. It's freezing out there, and you're still sick."

"Yes, Dear."

Moments later their lunch arrived. After they finished, he walked over to her and reached out a hand. Knowing his intentions, she slipped her hand into his and followed as he guided her over to the bed. He pulled her down beside him, and curled up to her back, every inch of his body pressed against hers. With one arm under his head and the other wrapped protectively around her waist, her buried his face in the silky brown waves of her hair, inhaling a deep breath.

"My Sara. 'All that I am, all that I see, all that I dream and do are brighter, more beautiful and meaningful, because of my feelings for you.'"

She closed her eyes, wondering how hard it had been to come that close to admitting his feelings for her, and willed herself to find sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

When she woke up, still enveloped in his embrace, consumed by his warmth, the furthest thing from her mind was getting up

When she woke up, still enveloped in his embrace, consumed by his warmth, the furthest thing from her mind was getting up. Instead, she snuggled closer to him, savoring every possible moment she could, wishing it would never end. She had never felt safer than she did in his arms, with even her soul feeling untouchable.

His whisper in her ear sent shivers down her back. "Are you awake?"

"No."

"Hmm, I sense a little mistruth."

"I don't want to get up."

"Mmm." He pulled her even closer to him, "Me neither. But we have to be at dinner in an hour and we only have one bathroom." Even with his statements, neither made a move to get out of bed. After a few minutes, he kissed her neck and suggested, "How about I take my shower and get ready then I'll go wait for you in the bar? That will give you time to get ready without my being in the way."

In a whine, "Okay."

After another tight squeeze, he got up and she immediately felt like he'd taken a piece of her with him. Her mind instantly scolded her heart for getting used to something that was only temporary. But like it did every time she was around him, her heart prevailed, allowing her to roll over and gather his pillow to her chest, breathing in his masculine scent before falling back into a heavenly sleep.

She was blissfully woken up by his whispering voice and the gentle touch of his hand on her cheek. "Sara, you need to wake up." She groaned before stretching and opening her eyes. He was a picture of masculinity in nothing but his black trousers. "I'm done in the bathroom. I'll be gone before you get out of the shower."

"Take your medicine before you go."

"Promise."

Without another look, she bounced out of bed and into the bathroom. He watched as she disappeared from his sight one more time, and he immediately missed her. Illness or not, his heart was realizing it was more than her mind that he needed. But here, away from life, work and peering eyes, things were easy. Now, in this moment, he could have every part of her with no regrets. But with the conference coming to an end, he worried if his heart would withstand losing her again when they got home.

Brushing away his fears, he decided to forget the future and live in the moment. Today, they were together. Tonight, they'd be a couple. For now, he was happy.

With shaking hands he buttoned his last button, took his medicine as he'd promised and headed out the door to the bar. A drink was definitely in order.

When he finally made his way thru the crowd surrounding the bar, he ordered a scotch on the rocks. Glancing around, he noticed a few people he recognized, but truly no one he cared to talk to. The conferences, to him, were not a time for socializing, but rather a time to learn. He came, gave his speeches and listened to others. If it hadn't been for Sara, he probably wouldn't even have come to the formal dinner. Focused on the ice melting in his glass, he never even noticed one of his fellow speakers walk up to him.

"Hey, Gil. How are you feeling?"

Giving in to the fact that he'd have to be at least vaguely social, he chose to make small talk with the short, stout man he remembered to be a forensic pathologist. "Feeling fine, Tom thanks."

"Steve's been telling us about your gal. Where'd you find her?"

Suppressing the urge to reply '1-800-BABE', "We met at one of my lectures." Which was actually true.

"Really? How lucky is that? How long have you been dating?"

He felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck, realizing that he wasn't prepared to answer these questions, "Not long. But we've been friends for quite a while."

"Probably better that way. I mean, Sandy and I got married only a couple months after we met and look what happened to us? We spent three miserable years married to each other before we got divorced and now I only get to see the kids every other weekend."

Not one for small talk, he really didn't know how to respond. "Well, I uh, don't think children will be an issue for us."

"Hey, she looks pretty young. Don't count it out. You know women these days." He paused for a sip of his drink then, "Are you two thinking of tying the knot any time soon?"

"We, uh, really haven't talked about that yet." As he was drowning his nervousness by emptying his glass, he was thankful when he caught her image out of the corner of his eye before he could be probed any further. Absentmindedly, "Excuse me."

After setting his glass on the bar, he walked toward her, holding his breath. Her dark curls that he dreamed of running his fingers thru were pulled back from her face and cascaded down her neck. The thin straps draped over her smooth shoulders and the deep purple satin hugged every curve perfectly from the sweetheart neckline down to the arc of her hip. Though the back of the dress pooled on the floor, the front v-shape allowed just a peak at her strapped heels and bare ankles. She was enough to drive any sane man crazy.

She reached out a hand as he approached and he took it in both of his, bringing her palm to his lips. His glazed eyes met hers, "You're stunning."

A blush rose to her cheeks, "You said you were wearing a suit. You didn't say tux."

"Ah, but I never said anything of the sort. You asked me if I needed to set out my suit and I said I'd sent it to be pressed. I just never corrected you."

"Sneaky, but worth it. If men knew how good they looked in tuxedos, they'd wear them every day."

"I believe a man would say the same thing about a woman in a tight pair of jeans."

"Touche."

"Shall we go find our seats, or would you care for something from the bar?"

"I think I'd like a drink."

Still holding her hand, he led her to the bar. He pulled her against his hip and snaked an arm around her waist as they approached asking, "What would you like?"

Every part of her wanted to reply, "You." But instead, "Well, I probably shouldn't carry around a beer in this dress, so how about a chardonnay?"

With a half smile, he leaned over the bar and ordered, "Could I have a glass of chardonnay and a double scotch on the rocks. Room 46, Grissom."

"Are you supposed to be drinking with your medication?"

Turning to face her, her wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her close. "Probably not. But I know as long as you're here, I'm in good hands."

With a tilt of her head and a big smile, "Me too."

"I don't deserve you, you know that, right?"

"No I don't." She paused before getting the nerve to add, "I think we're made for each other; a perfect fit."

A sparkle shone in his eyes, "Really?"

"Really. In fact-"

She was interrupted by their favorite doctor. "Ah, there you two lovebirds are!" Reluctantly, Grissom released one of his arms from her waist to turn to their intruder. "I've been looking for you."

"Hello, Steve. I was just ordering Sara a drink before we came to our seats."

"Yeah, it looked like you were ordering a drink there." Turning to Sara, "Hello Miss Sidle. So nice to see you again."

"Hello Dr. Brucken, nice to see you too. Please, call me Sara."

"Good, then it's Steve." With the formalities out of the way, "Are you too ready to sit then?"

Grissom turned to take their drinks from the bar before answering, "Lead the way."

Moving with the crowd of people trying to find their tables proved harder than it sounded. After what seemed like forever, they finally made it and Steve wasted no time making introductions. "Hey everybody, I'm sure you all know Gil, here, but this pretty lady is his girlfriend, Sara Sidle." A round of nods and greetings followed. "Sara, this is Tom Kinred, a forensic pathologist and Matt Riley, DNA Tech from Miami. Judy Weisman, CSI Supervisor and John Stanton, forensic anthropologist from Richmond. And this is Jim Shark, he's my assistant."

"Nice to meet all of you."

A voice over the speakers prevented further discussion momentarily. "If everyone will please take their seats, the staff would like to start serving in five minutes." The volume in the room rose as everyone made their way to their correct tables and the food was served.

Once everyone had their food, the interrogation immediately started. It was Tom who opened up the floodgates, "So, Sara, I was talking to Gil earlier and he said you two met at one of his lectures."

"Yes we did. That was a long time ago."

"Couldn't have been that long ago, as young as you are."

"Well, I was still in college when we met."

Grissom was relieved that he'd answered the earlier question honestly and was glad that the questions were at least temporarily directed at her. She answered each question like a trooper, from how he got her to move to Vegas to why they waited so long to come to a conference together. But inevitably, the questioning turned to him when Judy asked, "So, Gil, what finally made you choose Sara?"

"Well, I've been told we were made for each other; that we're a perfect match. And I have to say, I agree." He glanced over toward Sara to find a smug smile on her face. Then, as if to her rather than anyone else at the table, "Besides, I realized that without her, I was missing a part of myself."

The world around them disappeared as their gazes locked them into their own personal solitude. In a whisper, "Dance with me, Sara."

"Grissom, no one's dancing."

"But there's music, and a dance floor. And, for once, I don't care if everyone stares at us."

A smile came across her face as she placed her hand in his outstretched one and they stood together, with him guiding her to the empty floor. Gracefully, he pulled her into his embrace and skillfully moved her along with the music.

"I didn't know you could dance."

"There's a lot you don't know about me."

She laid her head on his chest when he pulled her into him, "I want to know it all."

"It might take a while."

"I've got the time."

"Good to know."


	8. Chapter 8

After dinner was over, Sara took the first opportunity to excuse them from the gathering, "Well, as much as we'd love to stay

After dinner was over, Sara took the first opportunity to excuse them from the gathering, "Well, as much as we'd love to stay and chat away until early morning hours, I need to get Gil back to the room and let him sleep. He's still not as well as he'd like to pretend to be."

"Uh-oh, Gil. I believe the boss has spoken."

Standing up, "I believe you're right, Tom." Reaching a hand to her, "Come on, Dear. Take me to bed."

The whole table laughed as she stood and they said their goodnights. They walked hand in hand thru the maze of people and tables and were both glad that their room was a good distance from the banquet hall.

Once inside, the door blocking out most of the noise, he shed his jacket and she quickly kicked off her shoes with a sigh. "Ugh. I will never know why women wear shoes like these every day! My feet are killing me!"

He guided her to the chairs by the table, gently pushed her into one and pulled her feet into his lap once he sat. While massaging her aching feet, "Thank you for tonight."

"Thank _you _for tonight. I can't remember when I had such a good time."

"Remind me to take you out more often."

She was quiet for a moment, pondering whether now was the right time to ask serious questions. Everything was frighteningly perfect right now, but she worried about a time when the fairy tale would be over. Her mind questioned whether to live the fantasy while she could, or prepare herself for what might soon be the end.

Her mind and heart finally found a compromise, "Do you think two workaholics will find time to go out, let alone together?"

He took a deep breath before answering with his own question, "Do you think that we should make time?"

In the back of her mind, she worried that the conversation turning too serious would scare him away; pushing him back into the shell it took her so long to drag him out of. "I think we should definitely make time."

She could see the wheels in his head turning as he turned his focus to his task. There was a long silence before she leaned forward and put her hand over his, "Don't Grissom. It's okay."

Another long silence followed before he finally asked, "No pressure?"

"No pressure. Let's just…be us." He was silent again. Trying to lighten the mood again, "Is this a ploy to get out of massaging my other foot?"

She finally gained a smile from him and he turned his attention to her other foot. They fell into a comfortable silence and she closed her eyes, enjoying the pressure of his thumbs on the balls of her aching foot. She was almost startled into a jump when he spoke, "You called me Gil at dinner tonight."

Wrinkling her brow, "Oh, I…did I?"

"Yes, at the end, when you were getting us out with your perfect excuse, you called me Gil."

"A, it was not an excuse. You really do need to be resting. And B, I didn't even realize it. Should I be apologizing?"

He put her feet onto the floor before moving his chair closer to hers and taking her hands in his. "A, admit it. You just wanted to get me into bed. And B, no, I was telling you because I liked it. I've never liked my given name. But from you, it's kind of sexy."

Her heart skipped a beat. He was back; she hadn't lost him. "Really? Well, _Gil _I will try to remember that for the future."

In a whisper, "Sara, dance with me."

With a smirk, "There's no music."

"I always hear music when I'm around you. Dance with me."

With a slight nod, she stood and he gathered her tightly into his embrace, swaying to his own music. His hands roamed up and down her back before finding their way to the locks of hair at the back of her neck. Abruptly he stopped, pulled both combs from her hair and watched as the curls cascaded around her face. "I've always wanted to do that."

Lost in the moment, not caring about consequences or what tomorrow would bring, "Is there anything else you've always wanted to do?"

He dropped the combs to the floor before pushing his fingers into the thick, silky curls at the back of her head. His eyes glared into hers, swirling with passion. She pushed her hands up his back, pressing her fingers into the fabric of his shirt. In that moment, his inner struggle began. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers, his mind in a screaming match with his heart. "Sara, I…I-"

"Don't. Just don't." She pushed her forehead against his, silently begging him to look at her. When his eyes finally met hers, "Kiss me." His eyes searched hers, as if looking for reassurance. He found it in her next whisper, "Please."

His lips found hers in a furry. There was no gentle prodding, as they both released what were probably years of built up passion. His fingers dug into her scalp as he pulled her deeper into their kiss and a moan escaped her as his tongue plunged into her mouth, seeking out every inch of untouched flesh. When he finally ripped his mouth from hers, it was out of pure need for oxygen. He gathered her to him as they both heaved in huge gulps of air.

She could feel the heaving of his chest against her face and hear the rapid beat of his heart that seemed to be in contest with her own. The tears she didn't even know she'd been holding back surfaced, pooled in her eyes and fell down her cheeks, forming a warm, wet spot on his clean white shirt.

Feeling the dampness against his chest, he pushed her back and wiped her tears as he looked deep into her eyes. "Sara?"

"Happy tears."

He pulled her back against his chest, "I don't know why I continue to make you cry. Every tear takes hours off my life."

"Happy tears should add hours. No more sad tears."

"Not if I can help it. I was telling the truth earlier when I said you have a part of me. I need you, Sara. God help me, but I need you."

"It's okay. You've got me." They stood in silence before she added, "Let's go to bed, Gil." She slipped out of his arms and into the bathroom before he could protest.

While unbuttoning his shirt he wondered how his heart had won the battle with his mind and allowed him to admit out loud the secret that he's held for so many years. He needed her. Now what? His mind whirled, wondering what expectations would come with his admittance. Would his moment of weakness come to haunt him? Better yet, would he always be weak in her arms? He tossed his shirt onto a chair and kicked off his shoes, knowing that he'd never be able to look into those gorgeous brown eyes filled with tears and deny any request that came from her lips.

The door clicked behind him and she emerged wearing lounge pants and a tank top and she walked straight toward him. With her hands on his bare chest, she pushed her self to tiptoes and kissed him fully on the lips then climbed into bed as he went into the bathroom.

Clad in nothing but boxer shorts, he slipped into bed beside her minutes later. When he caught her eyes with his, "Sara, can we talk a minute?"

She gulped, wondering if he was already filled with regret. With a shaky voice, "Sure."

Pausing a moment, "I, uh…I can't…I mean, we can't-"

"Grissom, just say it."

He blew out a frustrated breath, "I'm not ready to, uh…"

With relief, "Don't." He raised an eyebrow in question. "Don't do this to yourself. I told you, no pressure."

He was quiet for a moment before, "This has never happened to me before."

"What?"

"No one has ever made me nervous the way you do."

With a smirk, "I make you nervous?"

"Yes. It makes me nervous that I need you."

"Funny. It makes me happy that you need me."

"Good. It makes me happy that you're happy."

"But if it makes you feel any better, I'm nervous too."

"Why?"

"I'm nervous about what's gonna happen tomorrow when we go home."

He tucked some hair behind her ear, "Me too. I'm not good at this."

"Me neither."

"Promise me you'll be patient with me."

"As long as you promise me that you'll never shut me out."

"I promise." There was a long moment of silence before he finally asked, "Are we really doing this?"

"Yeah, I think we are."


	9. Chapter 9

She woke the next morning much like she had the last, but this time made no move to get up

She woke the next morning much like she had the last, but this time made no move to get up. Instead, she snuggled closer to his chest and threw a leg over his.

His grip tightened around her shoulders, "Mmm. Much better."

After kissing his bare chest, "Good morning."

"Good Morning, Beautiful. Do you want breakfast?"

"Not if it means I have to get up."

"Hmm, I think I can manage that."

"There's no room service for breakfast."

"Maybe." Barely moving, he dialed the front desk. "Hello, Ann, this is Dr. Grissom in room 46. I know this isn't normally done, but I'd really like for breakfast to be brought to the room. I understand that, but I'd be willing to tip quite generously if you could make an exception." There was a slight pause before, "Thank you so much. An assortment will be fine. Just have her use a key and come straight in please." After he hung up, "There, that should do it."

Chuckling, "You never cease to amaze me. I have _no _idea why you think you're not good at this."

"_This_ I can handle. It's all the rest of the stuff I'm not good at."

"Like what?"

"Like balancing work and a relationship. Like giving up my personal space. Like compromising on what to do with my spare time and pretending to be someone I'm not for the sake of impressing others."

"Is that all? Well those things are easy."

"Really? How is that?"

"The easiest is that you are the only one who has any family that will need to be impressed, so I'm the only one that will have to worry about that. Your personal space can still be your personal space. I have no problem knowing my boundaries on space or how much time I can spend with you. And we're both workaholics, so balancing work and our relationship will be a struggle for both of us."

"Do you have an explanation for everything?"

"I've had a lot of time to think of all the excuses you'd come up with."

"Sorry about that."

"It's okay. You're worth the wait."

"So far."

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't keep doubting yourself."

With a sigh, "I'll try."

"Thank you."

A moment later, their breakfast was delivered and they shifted in bed just enough to make room for the trays that were brought in.

"Do you think you're ready to give your own lecture?"

"I think I'll make it. No major coughing fits since yesterday morning."

"Thank goodness, 'cause I did not look over your notes at all. I would have been totally lost."

"I think you would have done just fine."

"All the same, I'm sure I will enjoy much more being back in the audience listening to you speak."

"Will you sit in the front row just like you used to?"

"Of course, just like old times."

"Not quite."

"Why is that?"

"Because after every one of my lectures, when you used to come up to ask all of your questions, I would try to recite all of the insect species that I could think of to try and push the thought of kissing you out of my brain. Now, I don't have to."

Very carefully, she climbed over the trays on the bed, straddled his lap and brushed a kiss across his lips. "_That _was very cute."

With his hands pressed flat against her back, "You know how I was concerned about my personal space earlier?"

"Yeah?"

With his lips getting closer and closer to hers with every word, "I changed my mind. I emphatically enjoy sharing my personal space with you." With all the control he could muster, he whispered kisses over her face, tenderly teasing her lips with his tongue until she granted him the entry he desired. With every second, he deepened their kiss, building passion moment by moment. On the verge of falling over the edge of sanity, he gently pulled away, willing his body to stay under his control.

But he quickly found that his control was lost, "Sara, one of us needs to go take a shower…now."

In a fit of laughter, she stood to let him escape into the bathroom. Even behind the closed door, he could still hear her laughing. He took deep breaths, battling his internal struggle between mind, body and heart. His body, despite the begging from his mind, was defying every plea, and acting on pure desire while his mind simultaneously tried to convince his heart that the feelings he felt were just built-up passion. But it was his heart that spoke the loudest; beating uncontrollably in his chest, refusing to let him ignore the fact that has was in love.

Love. A word that, when spoken, could never be taken back. A word that changed everything and a word that scared him more than any other. He'd spoken much more complex words in his life, yet that word he had not uttered to any woman other than his mother. Undeniably, though, he was, in fact, in love. But admitting it to himself and admitting it to her were two different things. He wasn't ready. Correction, his heart was ready, his mind was not. His internal struggle continued.

Twenty minutes later, he walked out into an empty room. Sara was gone. His heart flopped as panic set in. She had been laughing when he went in the bathroom, right? That meant she was happy, right? A lump rose in his throat when he saw a note on his pillow. Snatching it up, he read, 'Went to find the exercise room. Had tension to burn. Back in 45. S.'

Instantly scolding himself, he laid the note on the table and continued to get ready. Relationships are about trust. His biggest lesson needed to be about trust. It went right along the lines of love. Once you love, you must trust. Love is not enough. But therein laid his problem. He had to trust someone with a part of himself. He'd never given away his heart because he'd never trusted anyone with it.

But this wasn't just anyone. This was Sara. His Sara. The woman that had stood beside him thru ever trial he'd put her thru. The woman that had returned to him after every hurt. He didn't need to trust someone, just Sara.

After donning a pair of slacks and a dress shirt, he headed to the lobby. He found Ann at the front desk, just as he hoped he would. "Hello, Ann. I'm Gil Grissom, room 46."

"Yes, Dr. Grissom, I know who you are."

With a smile, "I just wanted to come and say thank you for the breakfast earlier today." He extended his hand to hers, slipping her a nice tip in the process.

Her eyes lit up, "Thank you, Dr. Grissom. That's very generous of you."

"I always follow thru on my word." Pointing to the newspapers on the counter, "Can I have one of these?"

"Of course. They're complimentary to the guests."

"Thanks."

Once back in the room, he flipped thru the paper to find the crossword and went to work. Lost in his puzzle, he never even realized how much time had passed until he heard the door open and Sara walked in. After giving him a quick kiss, she disappeared into the bathroom. Yes, he could definitely get used to this. With a satisfied smile, he turned back to his puzzle.


	10. Chapter 10

Halfway thru his lecture, he looked at her in the front row and saw the tears in her eyes

Halfway thru his lecture, he looked at her in the front row and saw the tears in her eyes. He'd been ready for them, knowing that she had no idea what this lecture was about. With a wink in her direction, he pushed thru the rest of his speech, feeling like his old self again.

Just as always, Sara waited quietly in the front row as the questions and answer session came and went, and the crowds of people surrounded him to probe further and compliment his informative lecture.

As if on cue, she was there in front of him as the last person walked away. He watched as a single tear fell from her eye and down her makeup free cheek. "That was about our night we spent up with the pig."

Nodding, "Yes, it was."

"You _did_ do it for me."

"Initially, yes."

"But you knew it wouldn't do any good."

"I had a feeling it would go the way it did."

"Why?"

"Because I knew that they would bring up the point that I could manipulate the evidence if I changed the variables."

"No, why did you do it anyway?"

"Because your tears are the key to my heart. When I see you cry, there's nothing I won't do to dry your eyes."

"That has to be the absolute sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me." With that, she took the few steps needed to close the distance between them, wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, "Now, I believe there's a little fantasy I'd like to help you fulfill."

"Now Ms. Sidle, I don't think it's appropriate for a student to flirt with the lecturer."

"Yeah, well, I've been known to be a little naughty in my day. Think you can handle it?"

"I think I can give it a damn good shot."

"Good, 'cause there's no one I'd rather be naughty with."

With a chuckle, "Now _that _has to be the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to _me._"

After a roll of her eyes, she captured his lips with hers. He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her slightly off the ground, causing her to giggle like a child. "Take me home, Mr. Grissom."

"Whatever you say, Miss Sidle."

Almost twelve hours later, they were walking thru the maze of people at the Las Vegas Airport, both having mixed feelings about being home. She was trying to stay positive, but there was a part of her that felt the tension growing between them. In an effort to regain the comfort they'd established over the last couple days, "Did you drive here or take a Taxi?"

"Taxi, why?"

"Well, because _somebody_ called me to the airport an hour before my flight, so I had to park in long-term parking." She gained a little smirk from him, and then pressed on. "So, did you want me to drive you home?"

He hesitated just a moment before, "Of course I do."

"Good."

They were both silent during the car ride, worried about what the other was thinking. When she pulled up in front of his building, she finally broke the silence, "Get some rest before shift tonight. And don't forget to take your medicine."

He merely nodded before getting out of the car and heading for his front door. With a sigh, she pulled away, trying to convince her heart that she knew this was going to happen and she'd be okay. But her heart felt broken none-the-less and the tears started to fall.

She was shocked when her phone buzzed before she even got out of the parking lot. Cursing, she wondered how work would know she was back in town. But it wasn't work calling. Flashing across the screen was 'Grissom'. It wasn't until she opened the phone that she realized it was a text message, not a phone call. The message simply read, 'Come back'.

Hesitating only momentarily, she turned the car around and saw him standing on the curb just where she'd dropped him off. She rolled down her window as she pulled up and tried to be nonchalant asking, "Did you forget something?"

"Yes." He opened the car door, leaned in and kissed her fully on the lips. When he pulled away, he wiped the tears that were settled in her lower lashes. "Don't cry, Sara. Patience, remember? I'm not good at this."

In a whisper, "Okay. I'll see you in a few hours."

With a content smile and a nod, he backed away and shut her down. With a new bounce to his step, he walked the short distance to his door, longing for sleep before work.

Unlike him, he didn't go in until twenty minutes before shift, finding the whole crew already in the break room. It was Catherine who greeted him first, "Hey, Gil. How was your conference?"

"Uneventful."

Then to Sara, "Hey, Sara, I forgot to ask. How is your friend?"

"What friend?"

"Brass told us a friend of yours was pretty sick; that's why you flew outta here like a bat outta hell a couple days ago."

"Oh, yeah. He's fine now."

Nick chimed in, "He? Does Sara Sidle _finally _have a boyfriend?"

Grissom swallowed the lump in his throat. They hadn't talked about this. What would she say to everyone?

"Don't you wish? That would give you plenty to gossip about. No, Nicky, it was a friend of mine from when I was in college. He was pretty sick, but we caught it in time, and he's recovering fine. Sorry to disappoint."

She might have disappointed Nick, but she'd made Grissom proud. She'd managed to answer without lying, but without telling the truth either. Making a mental note to talk to her about privacy and rules about balancing work and relationship, he pulled everyone's focus into work, "Okay guys, Catherine filled me in earlier. Nick, did you wrap up your robbery case?"

"Yep, file's on your desk."

"Warrick, you and Catherine can work on the double homicide from last night."

"Sara, you and Greg have a B & E in Green Valley."

"Nick, you and I have a 419 in Summerlin. Out front in ten minutes."

It was a couple hours into shift when Nick asked him, "So what do you think about this guy Sara left for?"

"I don't."

"What do you mean, you don't?"

"I mean, I don't think anything about it. Sara's personal life is her own business, Nick."

"Yeah, well, whoever he is, seems like she must be more than jut old college friends. I mean, who calls an old friend when they get sick to come take care of them? And she left here pretty quick, Man. She didn't even tell us she was leaving; she had Brass tell us. Sounds more like love than friendship to me."

"Nick, are you here to work, or worry about Sara's love life?"

"So you _do _think she's got a guy."

A little more sternly, "Nick."

"Okay, okay. I get the point."

The rest of the shift was free from talk about Sara, but his mind wandered to her several times before he could pull it back to work. By the end of shift, he was glad the struggle to balance was over, and headed home with his mind filled with thoughts about her.

A little over an hour later, he smiled when he heard the knock at his door. He opened it to find her on the other side. With her arms crossed, "Got your note." When she'd gotten back to her locker at the end of shift, she found a note in her jean jacket pocket with her keys that had read 'I'd like to share my personal space over breakfast.'

"I can see that. Come in."

"I hope I wasn't supposed to bring breakfast."

He led her into the kitchen. "How rude would that be, for me to invite you to breakfast and then expect you to bring it with you?"

"Well…"

"Unlike you, Miss Sidle, I cook."

"Great! I haven't had a home-cooked meal in…well…a long time."

"Then you are in for a treat. My mother taught me to cook."

"How is your mother? Isn't her birthday coming up?"

"She is doing fine, though I haven't seen her for a few months. And yes, her birthday is in two weeks. How did you know that?"

"Because you always take a long weekend the second week of November and then you say you don't go home for Thanksgiving because you just came back from visiting your mother. Why else would you go two weeks before the holiday instead of going to have dinner with your mother?"

"You never cease to amaze me." With a deep breath, "Would you, uh, like to come with me this year?"

She nearly fell over. "I'd love to. But, don't you think it would be hard for the two of us to take the same days off without raising suspicion?"

"Well, I could arrange for your schedule to fall in a way that you'd have two of the days off already and then you could join me a day late?"

"If you're sure this is what you want, then yes."

"I'm sure, Sara."

"Okay."

He continued to move around the kitchen making breakfast as they talked, "You did bring up a subject I wanted to talk about, though."

"What's that?"

"Suspicion. Did you get the third degree today?"

"I did, in fact. I wasn't going to bring it up. Greg was pretty persistent asking me about my 'friend'."

"Yes, that was a very good explanation, by the way. But Nick also questioned me about your relationship with this unknown man. Which brings me to my point. I'd like to keep us, private."

"I know that, Grissom. I'm not crazy. I understand that this is a huge issue for you."

"Not just me, Sara, _us_. We can both be fired."

"I'm sorry. I know. Look, we're both private people. Whether it was going to effect our jobs or not, I don't talk about my private life at work. You, of all people, should know that I don't share personal details about my life, even with you."

"I just know how close you are with Nick and Greg."

"True, they're like brothers to me. But do you think I could tell them things I can't even tell you?"

"I hope not. I want you to be able to tell me anything." There was a short silence before, "So we agree, we don't discuss our relationship with anyone at work."

"Except Jim, since he seems to know already."

"Jim holds my deepest secrets. He won't tell anyone."

"Any more rules?"

"I think we're both responsible enough to not need any more rules."

"Good. Then is breakfast almost ready? I'm _starved!_"


	11. Chapter 11

In the next two weeks, they'd gotten into a habitual cycle

In the next two weeks, they'd gotten into a habitual cycle. At the end of shift, she'd find a note with a breakfast invitation in her locker; they'd eat at his place then she'd head home before they met again at the lab before shift. With the extra workload, they'd only had one day off each, on different days, but so far they seemed to be making it work.

Today, though, the note had been different. She'd read it over and over again, hoping she was interpreting it correctly. It had simply read, 'Stay'. That one word had been haunting her for over an hour. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she stood at his door with an overnight bag in her had.

When he opened the door, after what felt like an eternity, he glanced down at the bag in her hand, then back into her eyes and smiled. "You got my note."

Letting go of the breath she'd been holding, "Yeah."

"Hungry?"

"Would you be disappointed if I said I'd rather just go to bed?"

"As long as that means you're going to bed with me, not at all."

Silently, she followed behind him, holding on to his hand like a lost child. They moved over creaking floorboards, weaved thru leather furniture and passed shadow boxes of butterflies on the wall until they came to the closed door she'd only seen from this side. She felt him pause at the door with his hand on the knob and take a deep breath.

When he didn't move after a few moments, she inched closer and whispered, "We don't have to do this."

He turned, cupped her face in his hands and looked deep into her eyes. "I want you to know that no one has ever crossed this threshold with me before. I need you to know that I've never had another woman in my bed."

"Thank you for telling me."

After a nod, he turned and led her into his bedroom. It was exactly as she'd pictured it. There was a king size bed with blankets and sheets in various shaded of browns, the walls held more shadow boxes filled with insects and both bedside tables had stacks of books.

He pointed to an open door, "There's the bathroom."

After she silently walked into the bathroom and shut the door he quickly changed into a pair of lounge pants and climbed into bed. His bed. A bed no one had ever been in other than himself. Trying to calm his beating heart, he donned his glasses, took a textbook from the table and began to read.

A few minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom and he swept her body with his eyes from toe to head. He cleared his throat as he removed his glasses then, "I believe that's my shirt."

"I found it in the bathroom."

Every nerve in his body was pulsing, reminding him that he was indeed a man with masculine desires. "It looks, uh, much better on you than it does on me."

"Thanks."

"Sara, come to bed."

Without hesitation she walked to the open side of the bed and crawled under the covers, taking a book from 'her' side of the bed. He raised an eyebrow in her direction and she flashed him a smile before turning her attention to the textbook she'd chosen.

After a half hour of silence with the intermittent rustle of a flipped page, she closed her book with a thump and put it on the table, barely able to keep her eyes open.

When she glanced his direction, "You're beautiful."

"How long have you been staring at me?"

"Long enough."

"Long enough for what?"

"Long enough to realize that I've missed this."

"Oh…me too."

"I don't want to miss it anymore."

"What does that mean, exactly?"

His mind raced. What did he mean? As it usually did in her presence, his heart had taken command of his mouth. Was he ready to make this commitment? Was his heart moving too fast? _Calm down. Be honest._

"I don't know. I just don't want to lay here anymore, tossing and turning, wishing you were here with me."

He wasn't asking her to move in. He wasn't asking to move in with her. But he was admitting he wanted to share his bed with her for more than just a random night or two. Her heart filled with joy, understanding what a big step this was for him. "Okay. I'll, uh, bring a few things to leave here and then when you want me to stay, I can."

"Good. Now come here. I think we could both use some sleep."

They wasted no time curling up together, their hot bodies in contrast to the cool feel of the sheets. With her back pressed firmly against his chest, he kissed the bare skin of her neck before settling his head on his pillow, closing his eyes and finally finding the sleep he'd been missing.

He needed her; first her mind, and now her body.

Hours later, he woke with her still in his arms, feeling rested for the first time since leaving the conference. After a glance at the clock, he gently sprinkled kisses along her bare neck, slowly rousing her from her sleep. With a moan that sent shivers down his spine, she snuggled closer to him, making him realize that he was quickly losing his self-control. Taking a deep breath, he whispered in her ear, "Sara, my beautiful Sara. I need to talk with you before work. Are you listening?" She nodded her head and he continued to talk, "I need to tell you a few thing about my mother." He paused, unsure of where to start, then, "Her name is Anna and she means the world to me. My father died when I was very young and my mother and I became very close after that."

Her mind immediately focused, realizing he was opening up to her in a whole new way.

"She, uh…she's deaf. So, I will have to interpret for you to be able to speak with her. Don't be afraid to tell her whatever you want. She knows everything about me."

"I wondered why you knew sign language." They were silent for a few moments before she asked, "Was your father deaf?"

"No. And my mother wasn't always deaf. She lost her hearing when I was a child. My father didn't handle it very well. He started drinking."

"Is it…hereditary?"

He took a deep breath before answering, "Yes."

"Will you go deaf?"

"Not necessarily. I have already had surgery once. I'm not sure if my hearing problems will come back."

"I remember when you seemed to have a hard time hearing things. I thought you were burning out. Will you promise to tell me if the problems come back?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Is there anything else I need to know?"

"Yes." He turned her in his arms, looking deep into her eyes, "I want you to stay here while I'm gone. I know it's only one night, but…"

"Okay."

"Really?"

"Of course."

They spent the rest of the day in bed, snuggled in each other's warmth, enjoying every second until they had to go into work. On the way out the door, "So, I was thinking that you could pick me up today on your way to work so that you can take me to the airport tonight on your way home."

With a smirk, "I guess I could do that."

She was glad when they worked together that night, ensuring they'd both leave in time to get him to the airport. But as the shift drew to an end, a tinge of sadness set in. She didn't think she'd miss him. It would only be one day. She'd gone without seeing him for much longer than that. But things were different now. She'd given him a part of her, and he was taking it with him.

She was waiting for him in the parking lot when Jim walked up to her. "Hey, Kiddo. How's life?"

With a smile, "Great!"

"Good." He glanced around, looking for any ears that might be close enough to overhear. Finding none he asked, "So, you on your own today?"

"Yep. I'm dropping him at the airport on the way home."

"Want some company for dinner?"

"I gotta tell you, I can't cook. But I can order a mean pizza."

"I'll pick up something on my way. Say…7?"

"Sounds good."

Grissom walked up, "What sounds good?"

"Sara and I have a dinner date."

With a raised eyebrow, "I'm not even gone yet and you've already got a date with another guy?"

She elbowed him before Jim said, "Well, have a good trip. I'll make sure she gets to the airport tomorrow." Then to Sara, "I'll be at your place around 7."

Pointing to Grissom, "Actually, I'm at his place."

With a huge grin and a slap to his best friend's shoulder, "About damn time."

"Take care of her, Jim."

He walked away with a nod as they got into her SUV and headed to the airport. The car ride was silent, neither wanting to say goodbye.

When she pulled up to the drop off at the airport, he finally turned to her. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too. But I'll see you tomorrow."

On a finger, he dangled his key ring in her direction. "Here are my keys. Make sure you bring them with you tomorrow."

"I will."

He leaned across the console and kissed her tenderly on the lips before getting out, grabbing his carryon from the back seat and walking away.

Smugly, she pulled away. He really was going to miss her.


	12. Chapter 12

Sleeping by herself had proven much easier than she'd originally thought, curled up in his bed, snuggled close to his pillows

Sleeping by herself had proven much easier than she'd originally thought, curled up in his bed, snuggled close to his pillows and surrounded by his scent. Well rested and quite a few hours closer to seeing Grissom again, she woke up only an hour before Jim was to arrive. After a quick shower, she padded around his bedroom in her bare feet, loving the fact that she felt at home.

After dropping him at the airport, she'd stopped at her apartment and packed two bags. One she'd packed to go to his mother's and the other she'd packed full of random things to leave at his place for when she stayed the night. She added a couple books of her own to the stack on the bedside table on the side she slept on, hung a couple outfits in an empty space in his closet, and placed a few toiletries to the counter in the bathroom. After throwing the empty bag on the closet floor, she carried her packed bag and dropped it on the floor by the front door.

She was curled up on the leather sofa reading a case file when the knock sounded on the door. With the file still in her hand, she opened the door to find Jim carrying a paper bag with what smelled like Chinese take-out.

"Hey, Jim."

"Hey, Kiddo. I brought Chinese."

"I can tell. Come on in."

With containers in hand, they made themselves comfortable in the living room and Jim wasted no time before he started digging in to the food and the information. "So, seems like things are going well."

"Yeah, they are."

"When did he ask you to move in?"

"He didn't. He asked me to stay here today while he was gone."

"And?"

She stretched out her first word, "And, he asked me to bring a few things over so that I could spend the night more often."

"What the hell happened at that damn conference?"

She laughed. "I don't know, Jim. It was like he turned into a totally new person. At first, the sickness did him in. But then he was getting better and he didn't change. I waited every day for him to go back to being the person he used to be, but he never did. And now, here we are."

"Well I gotta tell ya, I've known this guy for more years than I can count and I have _never _seen him like this. He's pined after you for years and has never made any move in your direction. In fact, he's done everything in his power to push you to the edge of the cliff without pushing you off. And now he turned from an old miser into a kid on Christmas morning!"

"I can't explain it. But, I'm not questioning it. I can't; not after all this time."

"Do you love him?"

"Ridiculously."

"Have you told him?"

"No. And before you ask, neither has he."

"He does, you know. Love you, I mean."

"I know. And I'm okay just knowing it. He'll tell me when he's ready."

"Yeah, well, I already gave him this speech, so I'd say it's your turn since there's no one else to give it to you." He took a bite of his dinner before continuing. "I think it's great that you two stubborn workaholics finally got together. I was really tired of watching you two miserable idiots walk around like death was looming, but if you hurt him, I'll never forgive you. And if he hurts you, you just let your old buddy Jim, here know, and I'll take care of him for you."

"You gave him that speech?"

"Well, the words were a little different, my tone was a little harsher and we were downing Scotch, not Chinese, but the gist was the same."

"Okay, point made."

"Good. Now, let's hear the juicy details. I mean, I'm just a gossip queen at heart and Grissom's like a locked diary when it comes to this stuff."

They both burst into laughter before she obliged him with a few details she thought Grissom wouldn't mind if she shared. Hours passed quickly as they chatted and suddenly it was time to head to shift.

When he pulled up to drop her at the lab, "Jim, thanks for coming by. It really helped to have somebody to talk to. I guess I never realized that I like to gossip too!"

"No problem, Kiddo. Just let me know if you ever need a night out without the old guy." They both chuckled before, "I'll be here to pick you up at the end of shift. Just buzz me if you get done early."

"Got it." As he pulled away, she turned and nearly bumped into Nick. "Hey Nick."

"Hey Sar. How's it goin'?"

With a furrowed brow, "Fine, why?"

"Anything you want to tell me?"

She gulped, "No, I don't think so."

"Hmm. Okay. I get it." With that, he turned and walked into the lab, leaving Sara stunned on the front steps.

At the end of shift, and a horrible double homicide, she met Jim in the parking lot, falling into the passenger seat of his department-issued car.

"Rough shift?"

"You could say that. Mother and child both murdered by the husband slash father, if you can call him that."

"I heard about that. Sounds like this weekend came at just the right time."

"Yeah, I think you're right."

He dropped her at the airport without any further discussion and watched as she disappeared in the masses of people. Just as he pulled away, his phone rang, "Brass."

"Hey, did you drop her off yet?"

"I'm doin' fine, Gil, thank's for asking."

"Sorry, Jim. I'm nervous."

"I bet. First woman you've ever brought home to your mother is a huge thing. Can't believe your sorry ass waited 50 years to bring a girlfriend home, but hey!"

"How is she?"

"Nervous…and tired. She had a rough shift…was on a double murder. Mother and her child killed by her husband…was not pretty."

"I try not to put her on those cases anymore."

"Well, you can't always be here. And it was all hands on deck tonight. But I just dropped our girl at the airport, so now she's on her way to you."

"How was dinner?"

"Good. She likes to gossip more than you."

"I'll have to chat with her about that."

"Yeah, well, don't worry. We didn't talk about _that._"

"But is that because she wouldn't talk about it or because it hasn't happened yet?"

"Yeah, right. You do know who you're talking to, right?"

"Yes, I do, Jim. And it doesn't change the fact that it hasn't happened."

"Are you shittin' me?"

"I haven't told her that I love her. I can't until then."

"Always a gentleman. Wow! You got it bad. You know she loves you, right?"

"Yeah, Jim, I know."

"Then quit being a chicken shit and just tell her. Ya got nothin' to lose."

"I will…soon."

"All right. See ya."

"Thanks, Jim."


	13. Chapter 13

He was waiting impatiently, tapping his foot on the pavement as he leaned against his rental car outside the airport, his eyes

Author's notes: First, thank you to EVERYONE who is reading and thank you even more to those who a reviewing; it really keeps me going. Second, I just wanted to say that, even though I am SURE you all will figure it out, the words in between and are Grissom's mother's signing that Grissom is interpreting for Sara.

He was waiting impatiently, tapping his foot on the pavement as he leaned against his rental car outside the airport, his eyes never leaving the sliding glass doors. It had only been one day, yet his mind longed for her, his heart ached for her and his body craved her. Jim was right; he had it bad.

Moments later his eyes locked with the chocolate orbs that triggered every desire in his body. He pushed off the car and opened his arms, as his heart skipped a beat. She all but jumped into his arms, dropping her bag to the ground in the process. He swung her in a half circle before putting her back down and capturing her lips with his.

"God Sara, I missed you so much."

"I missed you too. But I'm happy now."

"I heard you had a bad shift."

"You talked to Jim."

"Yes, I called him to make sure you'd gotten to the airport all right. Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I was fine. I was just tired. And all I wanted to do was come here to you."

"And here you are. But next time, call."

"Okay, I promise. Now where's your mother?"

"She's waiting at home. She said we needed time to see each other before she interfered."

"Well, let's not keep her waiting."

When they pulled up to the small white house, he pulled into the driveway, turned off the ignition and asked, "Nervous?"

"A little. Not as much as I thought I'd be, though."

"Okay. Remember that when you want to talk to her, speak directly at her and make sure she's looking at you. She is _very _good at reading lips. And you'll have to keep me on my toes to make sure we don't leave you out of conversations. It's pretty silent here."

"Got it."

They walked hand in hand to the front door and then found his mother sitting on the back porch swing. She was very beautiful, her silver hair pulled back in a neat bun, glasses perched low n her nose and when she stood, tall and lean, much like Sara.

She immediately began to sign and he interpreted, "She says you are as beautiful as I said you were and that she's so happy to finally meet you."

Careful to make sure she had Anna's eye contact, "Finally?"

Yes, finally. Gilbert's been talking about you for years.

Blushing, "I didn't realize. Gil failed to tell me about that. But he did tell me how much he loves you. It's great to meet you Mrs. Grissom."

I love him also. He's a wonderful son. And please call me Anna. Would you like some lunch?

"I'm starved. That would be great."

She began to sign again, followed by Grissom. They were lost in conversation until Sara elbowed him. "Excuse me."

After a glance at his mother, "Sorry, Dear. She says for me to go make lunch; the two of you will be fine."

A small panic built in her chest, "But how am I supposed know what she's trying to say to me?"

"That's what I said. She says she's wiser than I give her credit for." He tucked errant hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead, "It'll be fine. I'll be back out in a bit."

Once he disappeared, Anna waved Sara to an empty chair. Sara took a seat and then smiled when Anna pulled a notepad from a table hidden beside the swing and handed it to her.

Already written was, 'I can read your lips and then write what I need to on here.'

"Okay."

She handed the notepad back and waited for her to write and hand it back. 'Forgive me for being so giddy, but you are the first girl he's ever brought home to meet me, so I'm sure you can understand how excited I am.'

"I didn't know that. Never?"

'No, never. Of course, he's been talking about you for ten years now, but no one before you either. Gilbert was never much for dating in school. He was very focused on his studies. That's what attracted him to you.'

"We do share a passion for work and knowledge. His mind intrigues me."

'If you can appreciate his mind and his obsession with death and bugs, then you must love him.'

"It's not so much that he's obsessed with death, but the puzzle he can solve to find out how the death happened. But you are right on the other two counts. He is obsessed with bugs and I do love him."

'He loves you, too. A mother knows. He's loved you since that first lecture you attended.'

"I know he does. He'll tell me when he's ready."

'And you're willing to wait for that?'

"I've been waiting for Gil to come around for ten years. Waiting a little while longer to hear him say a few words that I already know he feels is not a problem."

'And will you also wait to get married?'

"We haven't really talked about marriage. And anticipating your next question, we haven't talked about children either. We, uh, just like being us."

'You're very sharp. I can see why he chose you.'

"Maybe I chose him."

'No, I mean I can see why he chose you to give his heart to.'

"Oh. Then thank you. Gil's had a part of me for longer than I can remember."

'Well enough of this serious stuff. Why don't you go see what's taking Gilbert so long with lunch?'

With a smile, "I'll be right back."

She found him in the kitchen sitting at the table working on a crossword puzzle. "What are you doing?"

Without looking up, "I was waiting for you."

"I thought you were getting lunch."

He put his puzzle down, stood and walked to the fridge saying, "My mother made lunch while I went to pick you up. I just have to get it out of the fridge."

"So was this planned?"

"You don't know my mother. First lesson is that she would _never _let anyone else prepare food in her kitchen. Second one is to not argue with her. She always wins." He continued to bring food out and put it on the tray, "Don't forget that her party is tonight."

Her hands shot to her mouth, "Grissom! I didn't even tell her happy birthday!"

"Save it for tonight."

"But I didn't buy her a gift! How could you let me forget something like that?"

He stepped around the counter and placed one hand on each of her shoulders, "Don't. Don't panic. I have it all taken care of." He kissed the tip of her nose, "So, did my mother divulge all of my secrets, or do I have a few left?"

"I think you probably still have quite a few. I think I just got the 'be careful with my son' speech." She paused before adding, "She did say that you've never brought a woman home to meet her before."

Absentmindedly, "No, I haven't."

"Why?"

"Because you're the first person I've wanted to bring."

She didn't press any further, wondering why he was holding back.


	14. Chapter 14

After the elaborate dinner, gathered in the small crowd that had come to the house for the party, she stuck close by his side,

Author's notes: Okay, here's a short one, but I believe the content might be just what everyone has been waiting for so…

After the elaborate dinner, gathered in the small crowd that had come to the house for the party, she stuck close by his side, trying to remember each face and name as it was introduced to her, relying solely on him to speak to over half of the crowd, who were deaf like his mother. Well into the night, he brought her to the front of the crowd as it gathered around Anna to watch her open her gifts.

Amazed at how quite the room had become, she watched intently, astonished at the thought that had gone into each gift and the attention Anna gave every one. As she opened the last of the pile of gifts, Sara was sure it must be the one Grissom had brought, but she was soon proved wrong when thanks were directed toward another.

As Anna set the last gift aside, Sara felt Grissom leave her side and watched as he walked to stand near his mother. He signed as he spoke. "I'd like to thank all of you who came tonight. Some of you may have noticed the lack of a gift from myself. If you will bear with me a few moments, I'd like to present a very special gift to my mother." He paused, nervously rubbing his palms over his slacks. "As most, well I'm sure all, of you know, my mother has spent many hours making it her personal mission to remind me that I am still a single man. But I am extremely happy to say that I have been given my own gift this year. The beautiful woman that I have introduced all of you to this evening has given me her heart." His eyes locked with hers, "I have been waiting to tell her a few things, rather selfishly, and I'd like to share this moment with my mother, again, selfishly." He rubbed his palms again against his already dampened slacks.

Anna Grissom watched, amused, never having seen her son so nervous. Chuckling to herself, she remembered how love had so much of an effect on a being. Having never seen her son in love before, she looked forward to seeing how it changed him. Already he had gone from the man who stood beside his mother, to the man who stood beside his love. A twinge in her heart reminded her that she was losing her baby, but at her age, it was about time. Glancing over to the brunette who had stolen his heart, she could easily see how perfect they were for each other. Her eyes spoke volumes, saying that she would do anything as long as it was with him. Turning her attention back to her son, she focused on the fluid motion of his hands.

"Sara Sidle, I have spent the better part of ten years trying to figure out how to sort the feelings that surface when I am in your presence. I have taught you and nurtured you. I have hurt you and I have pushed you away. I have listened to your fears and joys. I have seen your passion in your work and your drive to succeed. I have watched you smile, laugh, cry, struggle, rise and fall." Another pause before he continued, "You asked me earlier why I had never brought another woman home to meet my mother and I didn't really answer you. The answer is simple. I vowed when I was younger, that I would never bring home a woman that I was not in love with. But I can say right now, that I am absolutely, emphatically, undeniably in love with you."

He stopped to reach a hand out to her. With tears in her eyes, she obligingly met him in front of the crowd, whispering, "This is your gift to your mother?"

Wiping the tears from her eyes, and ignoring her question, "I love you, Sara."

"I love you, too, Gil."

He guided her a few feet away, "I need you to stand here so that my mother can watch me speak."

Again, he signed as he spoke, "Mother, there is a gift you gave me many years ago and told me that the best gift I could ever give you would be to give it away while you were still here to see it done." She nodded slightly as a tear trickled down her cheek, knowing exactly what he was talking about. She'd waited years for this moment, wondering whether she'd brought him up well enough and taught him all the things he needed to find the right woman to spend the rest of his life with. A sense of pride built in her chest, not only for herself, but also for her son, knowing that he had definitely made the right choice. She held her breath momentarily as he continued, "So this gift I give to you."

After a deep breath, he reached into his pocket and got down on one knee. Both Sara's hands flew to her face and the tears of expectation poured down her cheeks as he spoke, "Sara Ann Sidle, my one true love, I have loved you since the instant we met and I can't imagine living any moment of my life without you. I want to be with you thru every tear, every laugh, every nightmare and every dream." He opened a small velvet box, revealing a very simple, yet perfect, engagement ring. "Sara, my Sara, I promise to never shut you out, to always put you first and to do my best to make every one of your dreams come true. Will you please complete me, and agree to be my wife?"

Suppressing the urge to jump up and down like a little girl, she fell to her knees in front of him and flung her arms around his neck. "Yes, yes, yes."

He buried his face in her neck, crying for the first time since he was a child. "I love you so much."

Like thunder, applause broke out, causing both of them to look up and begin to laugh. Wiping each other's tears, they stood and he slipped the ring on her finger. "It was my grandmother's."

"It's beautiful. I love it." She immediately turned and knelt in front of Anna, "I promise to love your son, even during moments when no one else can."

She began to sign and Grissom interpreted, word for word.

I know you will, Child. I may be old, but I can see the eternal love in both of your eyes. I know that the love you two share will live long past my time in this world. You both have given me the best gift I could ever imagine. I've waited my whole life to watch my son fall in love and place that ring on a woman's finger. I can't imagine him finding a more perfect match than you.

When they finally crawled into bed that night, after several rounds of congratulations, she stared at the ring on her finger.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that I don't want to have to take this off."

He pulled at her chin with his finger, forcing her to look at him, "Don't. We'll think of something."

"Yeah, but no matter what we think of, I still have to take it off this finger."

"Sara, remember that we will always have to work at this. It's not going to be easy."

There was a long pause before, "Maybe it could be my new favorite necklace?"

Glad that she was thinking more positively, "Or you could wear it on the other hand."

After a quick kiss, she went back to staring at her finger. "Now what are you thinking?"

"That I just can't believe you finally asked."

"Finally? I thought it was pretty quick."

"Yeah, well I've been waiting a long time."

"I know. And I am so glad that you did." They both settled onto their pillows, facing each other, their noses mere inches from each other. "I guess now would be a good time to ask you what you think about weddings."

"You mean we're really going to get married?"

"Isn't that the point of proposing?"

"Traditionally, yes, but traditionally the soon-to-be bride would not be worried about wearing her ring in public."

Again, his heart was moving faster than his mind. "I guess I really wasn't thinking about that."

"Gil Grissom, you mean to tell me that you actually did something without thinking it thru completely?"

"Yeah. I guess love can do that to a guy."

"Well, don't worry, because I am perfectly content being engaged."

"As long as you're perfectly content, then so am I."

With a smirk, "Tell me again."

"I love you."

Snuggling her way into his embrace, "I love you, too."


	15. Chapter 15

Two weeks later, with her engagement ring placed safely on her right hand, she sat in the break room flipping thru the latest

Two weeks later, with her engagement ring placed safely on her right hand, she sat in the break room flipping thru the latest 'Forensic Journal' waiting for shift to start. Even though she still had her own apartment, she hadn't slept there since before their trip to his mother's and she had, little by little, taken over several spaces in his townhouse. His refrigerator and pantry had become decidedly vegetarian and her books were intermingled with his on almost every available surface.

They had spent many days with their feet intertwined in the middle of the couch, both silently reading their own books, neither worried about how much time passed. Occasionally she'd suffer thru a silent film and he'd force himself to glance up from a crossword puzzle while she watched the latest 'chick flick'. He'd cook for her while she went for a run and she'd clean up while he disappeared into his office.

To play it safe, they hadn't ridden to work together and they had managed to separate their personal and work relationships, careful to find the correct balance. They were in love; no doubt. With that thought, a smile came to her face as she flipped to the next page.

Greg plopped down beside her, "What are you smiling about?"

"What? I'm not allowed to smile?"

"I didn't say that. Just seems to me that you've been smiling a lot here lately. Are you that excited about the holidays?"

"Actually, I would rather work all the holidays so everyone else can enjoy them." She no sooner spoke the words, when Grissom entered the room, reminding her that she had someone else to consider this year.

"Well, that should make our next discussion a little easier." He waved a white slip in the air, "Thanksgiving is tomorrow and it's graveyard's turn to cover, so I need two of us to be on call."

The room was silent for a moment before Sara said, "Like I said, I'll do it."

"Thank you, Sara." She nodded before he continued, "Okay, down to business. Nick, Warrick, why don't you catch Sara up on your case. Catherine, Greg, you guys get me."

After shift, they all went to have Thanksgiving breakfast together before everyone rushed to be with their families.

Catherine was the first to stand, "Thanks, Sara…for working I mean."

Warrick was next, "Yeah, Girl. We owe you one."

"I'll remember that at Christmas."

Everyone chuckled before Grissom said, "Hey! What about me?"

After a roll of her eyes, Catherine replied, "Right, 'cause we're all gonna feel bad that the workaholic wants to work."

Nick and Greg said their goodbyes, both offering to bring Sara dinner.

She declined both, "Thanks, guys, but I'm good. A holiday that is planned around eating a bird really doesn't appeal to me."

On her way out Catherine said over her shoulder, "Gil, if you're not on a case, dinner's at four just like last year."

"Thanks, Cath."

Once everyone was out of sight, he reached across the table and covered her hand with his, "Happy Thanksgiving, Sara."

"Thank you. You too." She took a sip of her coffee, "Are you, uh, going to Catherine's for dinner?"

Without hesitation, "No."

"Why?"

"Because Catherine is not the woman I want to spend my holidays with, you are."

"Can we go home now?"

"If that's what you want." They both stood to leave and simultaneously their phones buzzed. After flipping open his phone, "Strike that. Looks like it's off to work we go."

"Yeah, well, it's what we're both good at."

He stood, stunned, watching her walk away, wondering what had put her in such a bad mood all the sudden. Just as she made it to the car, her caught her arm. "Sara, are you okay?"

Allowing him to turn her, pinning her body with his against the side of the SUV, "I'm okay, really. I just…I don't know."

"Sara, talk to me."

Leaning her head against the window behind her, she blew out a breath, her cheeks puffing out. "Can we talk about this later?"

His mind spun, wondering whether he should push or not. On one hand, he wanted to know what had affected her so harshly and on the other, he wanted to let her share with him in her own time. Knowing which option he'd want if it were him, he went with the latter, hoping he was making the right choice. "Okay. But promise me you won't shut me out."

Brining her eyes to his, "I promise. Can we go to work now?"

With a twinkle in his eyes, "Not quite."

Without warning, he leaned into her, fluttering kisses against her soft lips in between her protests, "Grissom…we're…in…public."

"Sara! Shut up and kiss me."

Giving in to his desires, she wrapped her arms around his neck, losing herself in the moment. She forgot what was bothering her, letting him steal each worry away with a kiss. When he finally pulled away, a smile spread over her face, enjoying the warmth that was still moving thru her body.

Happy that he'd at least made her smile, even if it was only temporary, "That is much better. I think I can make it thru the day now."

Her smile widened, "Me too."

"I love you, Sara."

"I love you too, Gil."

Without another word, they both got into the SUV, with the tension and stress slipping away.

Several minutes later they ducked under the yellow crime scene tape, crossing over the boundary that changed them from a couple into a team. With kits in hand, they entered a rundown house, yellow paint chipped, windows broken, shutters crooked. The still-dark living room they entered caused the immediate reaction from both of them to draw their flashlights from their vest pockets, shedding bits of light here and there as they swept the room.

A detective neither one of them had ever worked with met them at the door, filling them in, "Neighbors called it in. Said they heard shouting. Nothing out of the ordinary I guess from what we picked up. Male and female vics, married, Jane and Brian Mesner. Coroner's with the bodies."

As if he was barely paying attention, "Thanks."

"Yep. Officer will be outside." With that, he disappeared, leaving Sara and Grissom to process.

They met the day shift coroner in a back hallway; both victims sprawled across the hardwood floor. They hugged the wall, waiting to be filled in.

"TOD roughly three hours ago for both vics. Preliminary guess as that they both died of these stab wounds. Rough count of 7-10 wounds on each body." Flashlights loomed over each body, both CSIs noticing the knife still in the husband's chest and the large pools of blood that met in the middle. The coroner stood, kit in hand. "They're all yours. I'll just be outside. Let me know when I can take them."

Upon his departure, they both immediately went to work. Knowing how the other worked, no words or direction were needed. She began taking photos while he went to work swabbing blood, collecting hairs and fibers. After notes were taken, they released the bodies to the coroner then went about their work.

Grissom disappeared into the only bedroom while Sara wandered back into the living room. Only a few minutes into her search, she called, "Grissom."

Stepping outside the bedroom door, he saw her with her flashlight focused on something in a corner behind an overstuffed chair. Hoping she hadn't found a body that the police had missed, "Yeah?"

"Did the detective say anything about the child?" She didn't know why she asked, knowing the answer herself.

He walked toward her, "What child?"

Moving her flashlight, silently asking him to look in that direction, "There's a small box of toys here."

"There's only one bedroom with a queen size bed in it. Maybe they just babysat."

She immediately turned and walked down the hall into the bedroom. He quickly followed, finding her opening and closing dresser drawers until she found what she was looking for, "Do you think they kept a drawer full of clothes just in case the kid they babysat needed them?" The tone of her voice started to worry him. Looking at a tag in one of the shirts, "2T, girl's clothes. We're looking for a toddler."

Silently, he swooped his light over the walls then left the room only to return a few moments later with a photo in his hand. "I only found one picture and it was on the fridge."

She stood and took the picture from him, "Looks like that's the mother. Maybe dad was behind the camera. Kidnapping?"

"That what you think?"

"No, but makes me feel better than the other things that are going thru my head."

His concern growing, "What do you really think?"

"Looked to me like the stabbing was a war between the parents, both attacking each other with the same knife. Looked like the mom got in the final blow to the dad before giving in and bleeding out."

Not liking where this was going, knowing that this was turning into one of the cases he would have made sure Sara was never placed on, "That's what I thought."

"She was protecting the little girl."

"Sara you don't know that."

She flashed her light up to his face, caused him to squint and move his face to the side. "Yes, I do, Grissom." There was a hiss to his name, reminding him that he was not her love here, but simply her pain-in-the-ass boss. She walked away, picture still in hand and began searching every crevice that a child could have been hiding.

With pursed lips, he stood and watched her for a moment, terrified where this case would send her emotionally. They'd come so far, with him protecting her, and now, with circumstances out of his hands, the thought of losing her loomed over his head. After a deep breath, he joined her in her search, knowing she wouldn't give up until every space had been looked at.

He left the room, moving into the kitchen, opening up cupboards, the stove and the refrigerator, secretly hoping he'd find nothing. It was only moments into his search when he heard his name being yelled from another room. He only paused momentarily; hoping the tone of her voice didn't mean she'd found the lifeless body of a child.

Upon entering the bathroom, he found her on her knees in front of the cabinet under the sink. Without looking up, she whispered, "Get a medic."

Thankful that the child was still alive, he wasted no time getting outside to tell the officer to get an ambulance there ASAP. Taking a deep breath of fresh air, he tried to calm his mind before joining Sara, but knew no amount of time would prepare him for what would be a very long day.

Moments later he found her in the same position, "Sara?" She didn't respond to him, lost in the vision of the little girl. He took the few steps further to peer into the cabinet, finding a scared little girl, clothes covered in blood, long, stringy blond hair and tears streaming down her face in between the blood and soil. Her jeans were dirty as well, about two inches too short for her, as were her shirtsleeves. "Has she spoken?"

"No."

"Have you?"

"No." After a huff, "My name's Sara. Can you tell me your name?" The little girl remained silent. "I'm from the police station and I'm here to make sure nobody hurts you. Are you hurt right now?" After a few moments, the girl nodded her head. Sara swallowed hard. "Can you tell me where you're hurt?" As she asked the question, she watched the girl retreat into herself. Her eyes glazed over and her body curled tighter into the corner of the tiny cabinet. "I'll be right back." Sara stood and brushed past Grissom without another word, trying to hide the tears that had formed in her eyes and threatened to spill down her face.

His inner struggle began again as his glance bounced back and forth between the woman he loved and the little girl, both with broken hearts, in need of someone to hold and protect them. His heart longed to chase after Sara, gather her into his arms and carry her away from this place, this dark, wretched crimes scene, but most of all from the thoughts in her mind that drove her to the edge of a cliff that he could barely keep her from falling over. But on this side of the yellow tape, his mind won the battle, knowing that, if they were going to make this work, they had to separate their business and personal relationships. If it were any of his other CSIs, he would stay with the victim until someone else got there.

So he stayed, his heart cursing his mind with every beat.


	16. Chapter 16

Moments later the paramedics arrived, being lead by Sara into the small bathroom

Author's Notes: So, I am taking a little bit of creative liberty here. You'll notice that although in the show Grissom knows of Sara's past, in my story, he has yet to find out. Also, I have little information on how the foster care system works, so I am taking liberty with that also. (Hey, if we can't make it work for our writing, why call it fiction, right?  ) Glad everyone is enjoying!

Moments later the paramedics arrived, being lead by Sara into the small bathroom. Feeling more in the way than of any help, he stepped into the hallway, his eyes never leaving the tall, lean woman who was trying to hide her hurt from everyone. It took nearly an hour to coax the little girl, who still hadn't spoken, from the tiny cabinet only to be followed by her refusal to leave the bathroom. It was Sara's arms that the child finally succumbed to be gathered in, her frightened face buried in Sara's neck, shielding her eyes from meeting any more hideous sights.

He followed her as she carried the girl outside, until they almost ran into a woman wearing a gray suit, carrying a dated briefcase. "Hello, I'm Ms. Warren, from Social Services. I'm here to take the child."

"Is there any family to take her?"

The older woman flipped open a folder, "Her name is Jessica Mesner. No family contacted yet, but we'll do some research. For now, she goes into foster care."

"I'll take her."

Both Grissom and the woman replied in unison, "Excuse me?"

Ignoring the man behind her, she directed her response to the social worker, trying to hide her disgust, "I'm a registered foster parent. My name is Sara Sidle. Check your records. I'll take her until family can be found."

"This is _not_ how things work, Ms. Sidle."

"I'm aware of how things work, Ms. Warren. Check your records. I'm in good standing."

"Jessica needs medical attention."

"And I'll make sure she gets it." Shifting the girl in her arms, she dug a business card from her vest pocket. "Here, check up on me. This is where I can be reached. Let me know when you've worked something out. If you find me not suitable, I'll gladly step aside."

After a long hesitation, she took the card saying, "I'll be in touch, Ms. Sidle. Don't get too comfortable."

He watched the interaction between the two women, completely stunned, speechless for the first time in a long time. The social worker walked in one direction, struggling with the crime scene taped as she ducked under it while Sara carried Jessica to the ambulance, carefully depositing her into the back. As the little girl's tears began to fall, his gaze softened, seeing Sara transform into a loving consoler, whispering unheard words, pushing back matted hair and wiping away fear-filled tears.

As the doors to the ambulance shut between Sara and the little girl she'd seemingly fallen in love with, she folded her arms about her middle, trying to force herself to stay steady and strong. She felt his presence behind her before he said, "We need to talk."

Attempting to ignore him, "I need to get the evidence into the car so I can drop it at the lab, then go to the hospital."

Before turning from her to head back into the house, in an effort to bring her back to him, "You promised me you wouldn't shut me out."

He walked back into the house, feeling a migraine beginning to build, and gathered as many bags as he could and carried them to the SUV. After making one more trip to get his kit and a few more containers of evidence, he got into the passenger's seat and leaned his head back against the cool leather and closed his eyes.

Anger brewed like a storm in his soul, a thundering migraine pounding in his temples, waves of nausea threatening to rise from his stomach, darkness overcoming him. The rustle of bags coming from the back told him she had carried out the rest of the evidence, the click of the handle on her kit telling him she'd be beside him momentarily.

She got into the driver's seat and started the engine without a word. He could feel her hurt and anger pulsating toward him, daring him to open his mouth. His body weak, and his mind numb, he decided it better to just stay quiet and instead hope that the silence would rid him of his growing headache.

But silence was not what he got, the buzz of her phone sounding like a hundred more decibels than it actually was. The tone of her voice could have cut a man in two, "Sidle." He listened to her one-sided conversation, "She has? Has she been checked out? Fine. Yes, I understand." She flipped her phone shut and tossed it into the cup holder in the middle console. It wasn't until they pulled into the parking spot at the lab when she said, "An Aunt came forward to take Jessica into custody."

Wincing even with her soft voice, "Do I need to remove you from this case?"

Tension built in her jaw, "No. I can handle this."

"Fine."

They carried the evidence into the lab and dropped it on a lit table before she finally spoke, "Go to your office, take your meds and get some sleep. When you wake up, I'll fill you in." She tried to tell herself that she would have done this for anyone, but she knew that wasn't the case.

When he woke up, his office was still bathed in darkness and the pounding in his head had ceased. He was just about to walk out his office door when he stepped on a folder that had seemingly been pushed under his door. After picking it up, he went to his desk, turned on the lamp and flipped open the case file.

Just as they'd suspected, the evidence led them to the assumption that the mother and father had murdered each other. There were no results from any tests concerning the little girl. Tossing the file on his desk, he went on the hunt for Sara. But his search came up empty. Going out into the parking lot, he found her space empty. With a resigned sigh, he got into his driver's seat and headed home, determined to find some resolve.

His stomach wrenched when he pulled into his lot and didn't find Sara's car in its usual place. Trying not to jump to conclusions, as he had in the past, he hurried into his townhouse and quickly searched for a note. His heart pounded harder in his chest when he found no note. Had he really lost her over this? Was this the end?

Nearly drowning himself, he guzzled a bottle of water down from the fridge and in a fit of anger threw the bottle across the room, watching it bounce from one surface to the next. Finding no satisfaction, he grabbed a coffee cup from the counter and threw it in the same direction as the bottle. Pieces of glass shattered across the counters, stove and floor just as his heart did in his chest.

Grabbing the keys from the counter where he'd thrown them, he tore back out the door, jumped into his SUV with a little more force than was probably necessary and sped off in the direction her apartment, his foot never leaving the gas pedal and the speedometer hovering ten to fifteen miles over the posted speed limits. His tires squealed as he whipped into a parking space and nearly ripped the door off the hinges as he got out. He never slowed as he scanned the parking lot, quickly finding her car and then took the steps up to the second floor two at a time, a practice he'd never taken even in his youth.

With his anger on the verge of exploding, he took a deep breath before banging on her door. He calmed himself to a hard knock that was near the point of disturbing, keeping him just below making a scene in her hallway. When she didn't answer immediately, he used the key she'd given him, unlocking the door with shaking hands.

He waited until the door was shut behind him before yelling, "Sara!" When there was no answer, he stormed thru the living room and into her bedroom, yelling her name once more. After roughly pushing her bedroom door open, ready to scream her name again, he stopped. She was in near convulsions, curled up like a child in the middle of her bed, her face buried in a pillow.

His anger melted and he cursed under his breath, scolding himself for losing his temper without even thinking that she needed him. Softly, he spoke her name, "Sara?" After he got no response, he moved to the bed, sinking into the mattress beside her, gently placing a hand on her back. He half expected her to jerk away, and was happy when she didn't. It was then that he saw the file tucked underneath the pillow.

After pulling it from its half hidden state, he flipped it open, found Jessica Mesner's name at the top and immediately moved his gaze to the results of the SAE kit. Skipping the words that weren't important, he focused on 'positive', 'extreme trauma' and 'internal bruising'. Cursing out loud this time, he tossed the file to the floor before turning his attention back to the wrenching sobs coming from the frail woman beside him.

"Sara? Honey, please let me help you."

In between sobs, "I'm…sor…ry."

He took his cue to gather her into him, "Don't. Don't be sorry, Sara. Just please tell me how I can help you."

"He…hurt…her."

"I know, Honey. I read the file. But she's safe now." He pulled at her shoulders, pleading with her to turn toward him. When she obliged, the terror in her eyes hit him deep in his soul. No words could express his need to help her. Instead, he started fluttering his lips over her face, gently kissing the tears away. Eventually, her shudders stopped and her tears slowed. "Tell me how I can help you."

"Love me."

"I _do _love you; more than I can possibly tell you."

"No, love me Gil."

A light went on in his brain, realizing what she was asking of him. She needed him; needed to know that sex wasn't always filled with hurt, but could be an act of love and devotion. Thinking that this was not at all how he pictured the first time he made love to her, he removed his jacket and dropped it on the floor then kicked his shoes off. After uncurling her from her fetal position, he began at the top of her head and kissed every inch of her body all the way to her toes, never removing her clothes.

He felt her relax under his lips, each kiss erasing just a little bit of her pain. After pulling her to an upright position, he whispered, "I love you, Sara; never doubt that." She grabbed them hem of her shirt and drug it over the top of her head, signaling her understanding, but showing her need for physical rather than verbal affirmations.

Giving in to her needs, he finished the job, holding his breath as he gazed at her naked body lying in front of him. He wanted to take the time to tell her how gorgeous she was, how every inch of her drew new desires from deep in his soul, but knew that what she needed was for him to show her how beautiful she was.

With all the control and tenderness he could gather, he began again at her face and followed the same path with his lips he had moments ago, this time with no barriers between his kisses and her soft skin. He continued his perusal, enjoying the sighs and moans that he drew from her, until she started pulling at his clothing.

Thinking only of her in this moment, he stood and undressed as her eyes burned holes in his skin. Before joining her in bed, he pulled a condom from his wallet, laughing internally as he recalled the moment a couple weeks earlier when he'd gone to the drug store to purchase a box. He remembered wondering how many fifty-year-old men actually bought condoms. Glad that he had overcome his nerves and actually gone thru with the purchase, he pushed the thoughts from his mind and returned his focus to Sara who was enjoying raking her eyes over his naked body.

When they joined it was like magic; he swore her heard music playing. With each second, he felt more and more of her tension slip away until she was totally relaxed underneath him. He was slow and meticulous, giving every ounce of pleasure he could to her. He prolonged their lovemaking as long as his body would allow him, until he could feel her grow weak underneath him. In the final moments, they soared to heights together that neither had gone to before and then drifted together into a deep, peaceful sleep.

He woke before she did, enjoying the quiet moment he had to study her. Bathed in the sunlight that was peaking thru the curtains of her bedroom, she looked angelic, in a heavenly peace. He absentmindedly wondered what time it was, sure that they had completely missed their last shift, but not caring one bit. What he cared about was the woman wrapped securely in his embrace, temporarily safe from the outside world and the past that haunted her.

But temporary was no longer a word he could live with. He wanted permanence, permanence he could only get by pushing her. He feared it would come at a price, but how severe he didn't know. The secrets she held were so much darker than his own; ones that she had probably never shared. Yet he needed her to share them with him; as much for herself as for him.

Trust was an issue he thought only he needed to learn about, but now he understood that she needed to trust him also. She had to completely trust him to listen, to understand and to not pass judgment; a feat that he only recently convinced himself to do.

She began to stir in his arms moments later and shocked him when she tried to pull away. He tightened his grip around her and he pleaded with her, "Don't."

Once she relaxed, "I'm cold."

His mind reeled, trying to figure out whether this was a ploy or if she really was cold. Pulling her to one side of the bed, he pulled the covers around her, not willing to give her the chance to get away from him. Keeping a soft tone to his voice, "Better?"

He felt her nod. "Good." After pulling back hair that had dried to her face with the tears, "Sara, you know I love you, right?"

"Yes."

"Good, because you need to keep that in mind while I tell you these next few things." He paused, only slightly, "I have worked with people on the worst day of their lives for many years, and I've dealt with it. I've seen hurt, disgust, pain and terror in people's eyes, and I can forget about it. A case is work. But this, this is different. God I love you, Sara. And I see you relive the worst day of your life over and over again, and I can't deal with it. I see the pain and terror in you eyes, and I can't forget about it. Please, Sara, please let me help you. Tell me what causes your tears to fall, your strength to diminish and your spirit to crash. Don't shut me out." He had to stop. He was on the verge of tears himself, begging her to let him in.

His heart thumped loudly in his chest, thundering in the silence. Seconds seemed like hours as he waited for any sign that she understood, that she trusted him to help her. But no words ever came. She had locked him out.

Frustrated, he rolled away from her and stood, dressing as he spoke. "I can't do this, Sara. I love you more than anything in this whole world, as cliché as that sounds. I gave you my heart; it's yours, take it. But I can't stand here while you break it. Remember this, Sara. I'll wait for you. I'll always wait for you. And I'll always love you."


	17. Chapter 17

The pounding on his door roused him from the leather sofa in his living room

The pounding on his door roused him from the leather sofa in his living room. Shuffling to the door in his sweatpants, robe and slippers, he felt like a mental patient. Ironically, he would have felt like a mental patient no matter how he would have been dressed.

The pounding in his head was beating in time with the pounding on the door, causing him to fling the door open in anger, "What?"

Jim pushed his way past him, "What the hell's going on, Gil?"

"Nice to see you too, Jim."

"Skip the bullshit. I want to know what happened and I want to know now. 'Cause I'm either going to kick your ass before I leaver here, or I'm going to hunt Sara down."

Shuffling back to his place on the sofa, he pushed the liquor bottles around that were scattered over the table and floor until he found one that wasn't empty and poured it in the same glass he'd been using for over a week. After drinking down the liquid that didn't even burn his throat any more, "It's over."

"I can see that. You haven't been to work in ten days, she comes in, but walks around like a damn zombie. You don't even have your cell on, your answering machine says it's full and I come here to find that you're drowning yourself in scotch. What the hell happened on Thanksgiving?"

He buried his face in his hands, not wanting to remember, "We got called to a case. Parents murdered each other. Father had been molesting the little girl. Sara…I lost her. She shut me out." His tears fell, much as they had time and time again over the past week. "She asked me to make love to her, and I did. Like an idiot, I did. I made love to her and then she pushed me away."

"And?"

His anger flared. He stood and paced back and forth, "And what, Jim? What do you want to know? You want to know that she mailed me the ring back? Mailed! It didn't even have a damn note in it! Is that what you want? You want to know that I try to drown her out of my soul with every sip of liquor? You want to know that no amount of liquor or sleep or near coma state can push her from my mind, let alone my heart?" His voice faltered, "You want to know that even though I hate her for breaking me, that I still love her with every beat of my broken heart, every breath I take? That I count the minutes every day, knowing that every minute brings me closer and closer to the death that I long for, but am too chicken to bring any quicker?" He paused, sniffing, "There, now you know. Now just leave and let me wallow in my misery. It's one thing I've found I can do quite well."

"Yeah, well, I guess you're right about that. How the hell long has it been since you took a shower?"

He sunk into a chair, "I took one three or four days ago so I could go to the liquor store."

"Nice. Let's go." With overwhelming strength, he grabbed his best friend by the arm and yanked him into the bathroom. In fairness, Gill hadn't put up much of a fight, but a little force was necessary. "Don't come out until you're decent. I'll order food."

Feeling clean, but not at all refreshed, he walked into his living room to find Jim flipping thru a newspaper. The bottles had been cleared and the room smelled fresh. Without looking up from the paper, "I sprayed your couch with some cleaner solution stuff I found under the sink. It smelled like a men's locker room."

"That's because I've been lying on it for ten days."

"Figured. Chinese on the kitchen counter; figured you hadn't eaten in a while."

Without a word, he went into the kitchen and came back out with a takeout container. He sat down to eat before Jim continued, "Now that you seem a little more civil, what are gonna do about this?"

"I applied for a leave of absence. I'm going to stay with Mother a while and look for a new job."

Finally slamming the paper down, "So that's it? You're just gonna walk away?"

"She made the choice, Jim. I love her. I can't sit around here every day, hoping she'll come back to me. I've been doing that; it's not working."

"Aren't you gonna fight for her?"

"What am I supposed to do, Jim? I told her I'd wait for her. I told her I'd always love her. Do you want me to go camp out in front of her door? Not move until she gives in and comes back to me?"

"If that's what it takes, hell yeah!"

"I can't do that. I won't force her to love me."

"You Ass! Love has nothing to do with it! Of course she loves you! She's just not sure you're gonna love her after she tells you what you think you want to hear."

He stopped eating, "You've talked to her."

"Yeah, I have. I've been practically camped out at her place every day since Thanksgiving!"

There was a long, silent pause before he whispered, "Is she okay?"

"Hell no, she's not okay! She's been waiting her whole damn life for you to finally admit that you love her, now you have and she's still without your sorry ass. She sits around and cries at her apartment and you sit here drowning yourself in liquor, both too stubborn to take the ten-minute trip and take the first damn step!" He stood and tossed the newspaper on the coffee table, "You two were made for each other! Even when you're apart you're still together. Sober up Gil. And think about your next move." He walked to the door, turning once more before he exited, "Don't screw this one up."

Over an hour passed before he moved from the chair he'd been sitting in. With a little determination, but not as much faith as he'd like, he put his plan in motion, trying to convince himself that he could walk away if this didn't work.

Over an hour passed before he made it back home. He busied himself putting away the groceries he'd stopped to buy then focused on making dinner.

His breath caught in his throat when a knock sounded at his door. He held back the tears when he opened the door to see her standing in front of him. Shyly, looking down at a piece of paper in her hands in front of her, "I got your note."

Back to where they'd started, he'd gone to her apartment and left her a note inside a box, nestled on top of the ring he'd slipped onto her finger nearly a month earlier. He'd knocked on the door then quickly disappeared back out of the building, leaving the box at her door. The note had read, 'I gave you this ring because I love you. That fact hasn't changed, so you should still have it. Please, Sara, we need to talk. Come over for dinner. If you decide it best, after that, I will walk away. But I can't leave until I know that's what you want. Please. 6pm. G.'

He searched her fingers, his stomach sinking when he found no ring. Swallowing hard, he tried to remain calm, "Hungry?"

Her attempt at humor, "Would you be disappointed if I said I'd rather talk?"

In a whisper, "No." He moved to the side, letting her enter and asked, "Do you want something to drink?"

"I've heard you've drank enough for the both of us lately."

"I believe Jim has turned into your best friend rather than mine."

Ignoring his statement, "No, I don't want a drink."

With a nod, he went into the kitchen to turn off the stove, not caring that the meal he'd started would be ruined, then joined her in the living room. The investigator in him noted that she'd chosen the chair, ensuring that he could not sit beside her.

He took a seat on the couch and was surprised when she immediately started to speak. "When I was little, my parents fought all the time. I just thought it was normal for people to always be in the emergency room with bruises and broken bones." He remained completely quiet while she unfolded her past to him, "I was five when I can remember that my father started taking pictures of me while I was naked. He never touched me. Not until I turned eight. It was Thanksgiving. I had taken my bath and he came into my bedroom to take the pictures, just like always. But this time, it was different. The pictures weren't enough any more. He touched me. He didn't rape me. Eventually, he would have. But when he was done, he went into the bathroom to, uh, relieve himself and I went to tell my mother. She'd known about the pictures…but this was different. She told me to go to my room. I heard screaming, banging…and then silence. When I came out of my room, my mother was sitting in the pool of blood surrounding my father with the knife in her hand. There were tears streaming down her face. When I ran to her, she yelled at me to stop. She made sure I didn't touch anything and told me to call the police and go pack a bag. I thought we were going away, to live happily ever after. I had no idea I was packing to go into foster care. My mother never told the police why she killed him because she didn't want me to have to testify. She got life; killed herself a couple years into her sentence."

The tears had streamed down her face while she told her story, and he'd forced himself to not immediately wipe them away. His own heart wrenched in his chest. But he waited thru the silence, giving her every second she needed to say what she needed to say. "I understand that you want to leave. I just wanted you to leave for the right reason. Please know that I love you and I don't want you to go. But I do understand."

He was stunned. This was not what he expected. "Sara? Please look at me." Her eyes met his, "I love you. If you don't want me to leave, then I won't."

"You won't?"

He moved to his knees in front of here, taking her hands in his, "Of course not, Honey. God, Sara, did you really think that knowing your past would cause me to fall out of love with you?"

Her response was in a whisper, "Yes."

His hands moved to cup her face, "The fact that you trust me with your secrets just makes me love you more, Sara. There is nothing that you could tell me to make me stop loving you. I just can't watch you hurt day after day. It kills me."

She fell into him, causing him to fall back against the coffee table, kissing him with a tenderness that made his blood boil. Her hands were everywhere, and nowhere, tugging at clothes and pulling him toward her. In seconds her breasts were pressed against his chest, skin to skin, his hands tangled in her hair. When her lips attacked his neck, he managed one last moment of sanity, "Sara, Sara…we have to stop." He saw the panic in her eyes as they flew to meet his and immediately regretted his choice of words, "No…that's not what I meant. What I meant was, I don't know if this is how things are done these days, but I am an old man who has been sleeping on a sofa for the past ten days because my bed is intoxicated by your scent. I can not do this on a wooden floor."

With a sly grin, she stood and kicked off her shoes before taking deliberate steps backwards, slowly removing the rest of her clothes, letting each piece drop to the floor in a trail to his bedroom. He quickly followed suit, silently hoping makeup sex was as good as everyone said it was.

Hours later, after two rounds of lovemaking and finding out how erotic it was to share a shower, they were curled up on his sofa, waiting for a cheese pizza to be delivered.

As she trailed her fingers along his arm, "We should call Brass."

"He'll wait. I want to talk to you about something first."

"Okay. What is it?"

"Where is your ring?"

She looked around the floor, "Where did I drop my jeans?"

Without answering, he uncurled himself from her, found them on the floor and dug thru the pockets. Reclaiming his space behind her, he pulled her back against his chest and brought her left hand into his reach. He slipped it on her finger saying, "I don't ever want you to take this off this finger again."

Thinking he was joking, she answered very sarcastically, "Yes, Dear."

"Don't Sara." Detecting the change in the tone of his voice, she turned toward him. "Don't. I'm serious."

"Grissom, do you even know what you're saying?"

"Yes, I do. I've had a few days to think about this. And I'm serious. Don't take it off."

"Everyone at the lab will know. We'll lose ours jobs."

"No we won't. I'm quitting."

"No you're not-"

He placed a finger over her lips, "Shh. Don't. I've thought about this. You have such a long road ahead of you. I want to give that to you. I have job offers by the armful just waiting for me. I'll have no problem getting another job. I want to be with you, Sara, and I want everyone to know."

"Gil, I'm burning out. I can feel it. I'll never last. This job is made for you. You love it. I need a career change. I need something…brighter. I'd, uh, kind of like a daytime job. Or maybe I could do research for the body farm."

"'Cause that's brighter?"

"Well, no, but those people are already dead. That's just science. It's the people I can't handle."

"Okay, okay. We'll take time for both of us to explore our options and we'll see what comes of it. I've already put in for a leave of absence, and I think I'll still take it. But we're both in agreement that you will not take that ring off, right?"

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

With only a slight hesitation, "Okay."

"Good. Now I can call Jim." He reached behind him and grabbed the phone from the cradle. After dialing, "Hey, Jim."

"Well, you sound better."

"I am. Listen, I called because I need your help."

"Finally decided to do something, huh?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Good. What do you need?"

"Sara and I are getting married and I'd like you to be my best man."

"Well you old dog! You got her back! Of course I will!"

"Great! Call me tomorrow and we'll talk more."

"You got it, Gil."

"Oh, and Jim? If anybody asks, makeup sex really is as great as everybody says it is." He powered the phone off as Sara playfully smacked his chest with both her hands, dying to see Jim's expression on his face. "What?"

"I can't believe you told him that!"

"I had to tell him something to keep up with you two gossip queens."


	18. Chapter 18

At the beginning of the next shift, Grissom was seated in Conrad Ecklie's office, trying to control his patience as he waited

At the beginning of the next shift, Grissom was seated in Conrad Ecklie's office, trying to control his patience as he waited for the weasel that was his supervisor to get off yet another phone call that came in during their discussion.

When he finally hung up, again, "Listen, Conrad, I just want my papers signed so I can go. Can we get this over with?"

Leaning back in his overly expensive swivel, leather office chair, "Look, Gil, I understand that life can sometime sneak up on you and you just feel like you need to get away, but this just isn't a good time right now."

With a purse of his lips, his anger growing, "And when would be a good time? Are deaths lower during a certain part of the year?"

"I'm just saying that it's holiday season. A lot of people want time off to spend with family."

"So, since I don't have a family I'm not supposed to need time off?"

"I'm not saying that-"

Interrupting, "What are you saying?"

"Look, I don't know what's going on with you lately, but it's obviously affecting your work. I've been watching payroll and you're clocking in right before shifts and you leave almost the exact second they're over. You've only worked two doubles on the last month. Interestingly enough, I have found the same pattern with our own CSI Sidle, who ironically called in sick tonight."

Annoyed, "Maybe she's sick."

"Maybe she caught what you called in sick for the last ten days."

He stood, nearing completely losing his temper. Pointing his finger across the desk, "Sign the papers, Conrad, or I'll quit."

"Gil that threat might work with other people, but not me."

In a swift movement, he removed the SUV key from the ring in his pocket, swung the lanyard holding his nametag over his head and threw them both on the desk. "I'll have Jim bring in my gun later tonight. My kit's in the SUV in the lot. I'll have someone clean out my office for me by the end of the week and I'll brief Catherine on all my open cases. Have a nice life, Conrad."

Without waiting for a response, he turned and left the office, leaving Conrad completely stunned. He flipped open his cell and dialed Sara's number as he flung the door to the lab open and walked into the lot. "Hey, Hun. Can you come pick me up?"

"Gil, what did you do?"

"I'll explain later. Pick me up at the diner."

"Be right there."

"Thank you."

He had no sooner flipped his phone shut when he heard the female voice behind him, "Did I just hear you say 'Hun'?"

Turning around, "Catherine, glad I bumped into you. We need to get together tomorrow at the beginning of shift so I can fill you in on my open cases."

Shaking her finger at him, "Don't try to ignore my question, Gil. And what the hell are you talking about?"

Still ignoring her original question, "I just quit. So I'll need to fill you in on all my open cases so you can take over, assuming you'll apply for my job."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not. Go talk to Conrad if you don't believe me. Call me tomorrow so we can pick a place to meet. I won't be coming back here."

"Gil, are you okay? Does this have to do with your new girlfriend? Who the hell is she?"

He turned, waving his hand as he left, saying over his shoulder, "See you tomorrow, Cath."

She shouted after him, "Gil Grissom, come back here! I'll find out tomorrow."

Nick walked up behind her, "Find out what?"

Exasperated, "Grissom just quit!"

"What?"

"Yeah, and he has a girlfriend!"

"You kidding me? Him _and _Sara?"

Whipping her head toward him, "Of course, Sara. How'd you know?"

"A couple weeks ago I saw Jim drop her off and when she got out, they were talking about him picking her up. And he's been hanging around here a lot these past few weeks, and it hasn't been work-related if you know what I mean."

"You think Sara is dating Brass?"

Greg walked out of the building, "Sara's dating Jim?"

"When I asked her about it, she tried to play dumb, but I think they're just worried about the whole work thing."

Catherine asked, "Then who the hell is Grissom dating?"

Greg was really lost, "Grissom's got a girlfriend?"

Completely ignoring Greg, Nick asked Catherine, "Wait, you think him and Sara are together?"

"If it wasn't for the whole Brass thing, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Fed up, Greg stopped them both, "Would you guys tell me what is going on?"

Ecklie appeared at the door, "Catherine, can I see you in my office please?"

Walking up the couple steps, she brushed past him, followed by Nick and Greg saying, "Too late, Ecklie. Grissom already filled me in. Let me know when I can submit my application."

In a disturbingly bossy tone, "Catherine, I need to see you in my office, now."

With a huff, she turned and headed to his office. Probably shouldn't piss off the boss right before you put in for a promotion. She gracefully flopped into the chair in his office, noting that it was still slightly warm from Grissom's previous visit. When he joined her in the office, "What do you need, Conrad?"

"Well, as you obviously know, Gil came in and quit. So, since you two seem so close, I'd like you to go talk to him."

"We're meeting tomorrow so he can brief me."

"No. I'd like you to go talk to him tonight. Change his mind."

"You really think that's gonna work?"

"As much as Gil and I don't get along, I don't want him to quit, especially with my name in his reason for leaving."

"So this is really about you. Now I get it. So what leverage am I using?"

He leaned forward, folding his hands in front of him on his desk, "Tell him we'll work out the whole relationship issue between him and Sara."

Swinging one leg over the other, she bobbed her foot up and down, "You know, I probably would have said that was a pretty good ploy until about ten minutes ago when I found out that Sara's dating Jim."

He practically fell out of his chair, "What?"

"Yeah. Nick saw them together."

"Great! I don't know then, Catherine. Just figure out what he wants and let me know."

Slapping her hands on the arms of the chair, "Okay. I'll be back as soon as I can. You'll need to go hand out assignments. Put Nick and Greg on the 419 and Warrick on the B & E and tell him I'll get there ASAP."

He nodded as she disappeared out the door, cursing Grissom under his breath.


	19. Chapter 19

Catherine tapped her hands on the steering wheel to the beat of the new pop song coming thru her SUV's speakers, near giddy ab

Catherine tapped her hands on the steering wheel to the beat of the new pop song coming thru her SUV's speakers, near giddy about her mission. Gil Grissom had met his match. Maybe he wouldn't tell her whom he was dating, but he certainly couldn't hide her in the bathroom the whole time she was there. She chuckled to herself wondering how in the world a woman had become comfortable in Gil's townhouse. He was strictly bachelor. Full laughter hit her thinking of his practical blinds being replaced with frilly curtains, bathroom counters filled with feminine products and all the bug cases stacked in the closets instead of covering the walls. Then she thought better, knowing that Gil might give up a few things for a woman, but his bugs would not be one of them. She pulled into his lot and nearly jumped out of the driver's seat before the car came to a stop.

Sara had interrogated Gil all the way home, demanding to know what had happened. But he had insisted they wait until they got home, so that her attention was not distracted from the road. The moment her foot had hit the hallway on the inside of his door, she pushed for answers, "Ok, we're here. Now what happened?"

Ready for the yelling match that was to come, "I quit."

Her response was not a yell, but rather a whisper, "You what?"

He pushed his shoulders back, prepared to defend himself. "I quit."

"But you said we'd take some time to make this decision together."

He took the few steps needed to reach her and put a hand on each of her shoulders. "I know. And I apologize. But Conrad left me no choice."

"He threatened to fire you? What did you tell him?"

His answer was interrupted by a rap at the door. "Oh, that must be Jim. I told Conrad I'd have him bring in my gun later tonight. He must have called him. Why don't you let him in and I'll go get my gun. We'll talk about this after he leaves, okay?"

She shrugged and he disappeared into the bedroom. Another knock at the door reminded her that she was supposed to be letting in their company. Blowing out a frustrated breath, she turned to let Jim in. But when she opened the door, he heart sank. "Hi, Catherine."

With a smug smile, "I knew it! Hey, Sara."

Ignoring Catherine's statement, her mind reeled, trying to think of something to get them out of this jam. But his voice behind her interrupted her thought process. "Hello, Catherine. Are you spying on me, now?"

Brushing past Sara, "Not exactly. Ecklie asked me to come by and convince you not to quit. Finding Sara here is just a little bonus."

Suddenly, as if a light bulb turned on, Sara saw the gun in his hand and formed a plan. "So, I'll just take that in for you and uh, get out of your way. If you need to talk, let me know."

He raised an eyebrow in her direction, wondering if she really thought that little speech was going to fool Catherine. Fairly, though, he hadn't had the chance to tell her that Catherine had overheard their phone conversation earlier. Ignoring her charade, he turned to the blond who had made herself at home in the living room. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Sure. Of course, I'm on duty, so it'll have to be non-alcoholic."

With a nod he turned to Sara, emphasizing his first word, "Dear, would you like something?"

With a dropped jaw, she said nothing. As he walked by, he lifted her chin and winked. She was still frozen in place when he returned with a bottle of water. With a hand at her back, her pushed her in the direction of the sofa. Handing the beverage to Catherine, "I'm not coming back."

She took a sip of her water before, "I didn't figure you would. Did you tell Ecklie about the two of you?"

He wrapped his arm protectively around Sara's shoulders, "No, we were going to wait to tell anyone until after we decided what to do about work. But I guess that's over with now."

"So why did you quit?"

Sara, still in a state of shock, forced herself to actually listen. "I put in for a leave of absence so that Sara and I had time to figure out who was going to get a different job. I didn't tell Conrad what the reason was, but it wouldn't have mattered. He wouldn't sign my papers. I told him if he wouldn't sign them, I'd quit. He thought I was bluffing. I wasn't."

"And that's when you called Sara."

"Yes. And we would appreciate it if you would keep this to yourself, for now."

Finally fed up, "Wait. Did I miss the part where you told Catherine about us?"

He chuckled and kissed her cheek. "When I called you for a ride, Catherine overheard me call you 'Hun'. I didn't tell her it was you, but now she's here and so are you."

"What I really want to know is why Nick thinks you're dating Jim."

Both of them snapped their heads in her direction and simultaneously replied, "What?"

"Yeah." She relayed the story of what happened after Grissom left the lab and Sara explained the day when Jim had taken her to the airport, remembering how weird Nick had acted the night she'd bumped into him.

Grissom chuckled, "So, Greg, Nick and Conrad now think that Sara is dating Jim and I'm dating some random other woman?"

"Pretty much." After another laugh, "So, are you sure you won't come back? I do have a pretty good deal to offer you."

"And what might that be?"

"I guess he originally thought that you and Sara were together."

"Yes, he implied that Sara had called in sick tonight because she'd caught my cold from last week."

Sara was relieved that he hadn't shared the real reason why he'd called in. "Yeah, well, he thinks you're quitting so that you and Sara can be together. He is offering to work something out for the two of you to still be able to work together."

"How generous of him."

"So you wanna change your mind?"

Without hesitation, "No. I'm actually content with my decision. It felt good to have one up on that ass-kissing weasel."

Catherine stayed and chatted for a while, amused at the relationship she saw before her. Before her sat two of the most private, unpolished, awkward people she knew, but they had come together and formed what looked to be an amazingly comfortable peace with each other. The thought of Gil Grissom sitting on a sofa with his arm around a woman's shoulders was a picture she never thought she'd see. But here he was, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Later, when Catherine left the happy couple, after promising to keep their secret temporarily, she pulled out of the parking space and began to tap her hands on the steering wheel just as she had when she pulled in. Content, now, with the fact that she had been right. Gil had finally taken the chance to admit he was in love.

Inside, he pulled Sara onto his lap asking, "You okay?"

"I guess. I'm worried that you're going to regret this decision."

"But I'm not."

"You say that now."

"And I'll say it tomorrow."

"All the same, I'm glad we told Catherine that you'd think about coming back."

"Actually, _you_ told Catherine I'd think about."

"Hmm." She snuggled into his chest, consumed with his warmth, listening to the steady heartbeat from his chest. "I need you to talk to you about something else."

"Okay."

"My lease comes up the end of next month."

She left it at that, freeing him to respond in whatever manner he would. The silence seemed endless as his mind raced to choose the correct words. He searched for the hidden meaning behind her words. Was she saying that she didn't want to renew her lease? Was she asking to move in? Was she asking if _he _wanted her to renew her lease? He had too many questions. But his brain finally focused on the correct one. "And how do you feel about that?"

"I feel like…like I'd rather not renew my lease if I don't have to."

With an amusing tone, "Are you planning on moving?"

"I was thinking that maybe we could…live together."

"I'll make sure half the closet is cleaned out as soon as I can."

"No…I, uh…I'd like us to get a new place."

A lump rose in his chest. "Really? Why is that?"

"Well, my place is mine, your place is yours. I'd like a place that's ours. You know, a place where we decide together what cabinet the cups go in, how the living room will be arranged, what colors to paint the walls."

"You can paint any color you'd like."

She kept her head firmly on his chest, forcing herself to move on with the discussion that she knew would only get harder. "Besides, we'll need more rooms. Here you use your spare room for your office. Not that I expect much company, but I think we should have a spare room, so we'll need a room for your office and another for my exercise equipment. Then we'll need at least one more bedroom besides ours."

The lump in his throat doubled, almost completely cutting off his airflow. Her riddle of words was not lost on him. If there was one thing he was good at, it was solving puzzles. Skillfully, she had created a conundrum of her own, making him look between and behind the actual spoken words and decipher her meaning on his own. She wanted to have children. How could he have missed that? Had he really thought that a young vibrant woman, such as herself would not want to have a child to call her own? She had said 'at least', how many did that mean? Better yet, was one too many for him?

He had no idea what to say. But knew two things for sure. Saying nothing was not an option. Saying the wrong thing would be devastating. He started simple. "You want children." There was no question, and he'd managed to keep the shaking from his voice.

Her response, though, was nowhere near as strong as his statement. "I think I do. Maybe foster children…adoption."

"Don't we have to be married for that?"

"It would make it easier."

There was a long silence before he spoke. "I think we have a lot more to discuss than which one of us will be leaving the lab."


	20. Chapter 20

Almost an hour later, after a near silent midnight meal, they sat on the couch again, both nervous about the conversation that

Author's Notes: So, so, so sorry for the delay in updating!! My nephew was born and I was lost in baby land!! I hope you all can forgive me!! Here's this chapter and I hope to have the next up by tomorrow. I hope you enjoy! And please, please review!!

A week flew by with both of them in an unspoken agreement to take the next step needed to move along with their life together. His leave of absence papers had come in the mail with Conrad's signature on the needed line, giving them ample time to make their decisions. He had made several phone calls to various connections inquiring about job offers that had been presented to him in the past, finding out which ones were still available to him while Sara did research of her own.

Ever present in his mind were the subjects that his mind knew they needed to discuss in detail, but his heart feared away from. Truthfully, he'd never pictured himself as a father, especially after over five decades of life, but he also had never thought he'd be a husband, and now that thought was not only appealing, but a matter of excitement to him.

He had noticed that Sara was now browsing the real estate rental and sale ads in the newspaper, leaving the page open every day for him to notice the ones she'd circled. Her choices seemed to all have certain things in common, at least 3 bedrooms, 2 baths and all located in a gated community or a complex with good security. Although she hadn't pressured him, he knew the day would soon come when she would ask him to go look at a few choices that were most appealing to her. Being at home day in and out had given him plenty of free time, so to prove his willingness to go along with her plan, he'd begun packing up some of his things.

Sara kept him up to date on the happenings of the lab every morning over the breakfast he would cook when she got home. Catherine had been reviewing all the case files on his desk, knowing that he had no intention of returning to the lab, Conrad spent an ample amount of time lurking around and the entire team had noticed the ring on Sara's finger and had made several threats for detailed information, even though she'd adamantly refused.

The blueberry pancake in the skillet was turning the perfect shade of golden when he heard the key in the door. Sliding the food onto an empty plate, he turned to pour her coffee just as she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face into his back, momentarily focusing every ounce of her attention on him, before turning her demand to the steaming, sweetened liquid that fueled her to go on. After a sip of her necessary indulgence, she pressed her lips to his before they sat down to eat.

With nearly half of her breakfast gone, she began to talk about the night's happenings, explaining that it had been fairly uneventful. After her last bite, "Tonight's my night off."

"I know. I did make this month's schedule."

"I thought maybe we could go out today."

"What did you have in mind?"

"I thought we could at least pick up some paperwork on adoption and then maybe look at a few houses and apartments that are available."

With a momentary hesitation, "Don't you think we should talk about that first?"

"I didn't say we had to make an offer on anything. I just thought we could take a look."

"That's not what I'm talking about."

Her response was barely above a whisper, "I know."

"Don't Sara."

"Don't what?"

"Don't assume the worst."

Looking in his eyes, "Why shouldn't I? You've avoided this subject since the moment I brought it up."

"I have not been avoiding, I've been thinking."

With a tilt of her head, "And?"

After a deep breath, he succumbed to the fact that he'd need to have this conversation. His mind reeled, hoping he'd find the right words. "And…I'm ready to…explore our options."

With a raised eyebrow, "And what does that mean in English?"

With a slightly frustrated sigh, wishing the balance between his communication ability and his intelligence were a little more evenly balanced, "Be fair, Sara. You did open up quite a few doors all at once."

A slightly annoyed tone found it's way into her voice, "Fine. Let's start at the beginning. Marriage?"

"Don't be caddy. You know I would marry you this second if you wanted. Marriage is not an issue." He stood and carried their dishes to the sink, worried about the direction this conversation was headed. The dishes clanked as he took extra time to rinse them, giving them both a moment to relax. After drying his hands, he returned to the table, hoping for a good turn.

Only just above a whisper, "I'm sorry."

He took her hands in his leaving them in the middle of the table, "Don't be. Let's just talk about this. I know this is just as hard for you as it is for me, even if it is in a different way."

She was silent for a moment before, "I saw that you packed a couple boxes." The corners of her mouth rose just a little, "Are you planning on moving?"

He matched her smile, "I believe I am, yes."

"Really?"

"Yes, Sara. Really. I admit that it is just a bit terrifying for me. This place is my comfort zone; a place I feel completely at home. But I also realize that my home is with you, so if you want to be somewhere other than this, then so do I."

"So can we at least go look at a couple places today?"

Giving in to the eyes that held his soul, "I think we could manage that." She smiled before wolfing down the rest of her breakfast. "But before we get too far, I have something I'd like to speak to you about."

She gulped before responding, "Okay."

"Christmas is in two weeks."

"Yeah, I know that."

"We usually volunteer to work for Christmas."

"I know that, too."

"Do you know that I'd like us to spend our first Christmas together as a couple at home, not at work?"

With a smirk, "I do now."

"Good. My leave papers carry me into next year, so it's as simple as you not volunteering."

"Is that it?"

He hesitated only slightly, "Not quite." His mind couldn't believe the words that his heart wanted him to say, but he tried not to question it. "I want to tell the guys about us."

She nearly choked on a sip of coffee, "Excuse me?"

"I'm in love with you, Sara. I want to marry you, and I can't do that unless we let our friends know about the wedding."

"Seriously?"

"It's the first step. Do you really think it's wise to purchase a home with a person you aren't eternally committed to? Better yet, to have children out of wedlock?"

"I never pictured you as traditional."

"I'm not. But there are a few things that I believe in. One is this; if you want to even think about having children, adopted or otherwise, we get married first."

They were both quite for a few moments before she asked, "So can we call them all now to tell them?"

They both laughed, the pressure lifted. "I think maybe we should do it over a meal. Maybe we could invite everyone over before shift."

"Like tonight?"

He chuckled again, "If you want."


	21. Chapter 21

With the two casseroles in the oven, he leaned against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest, wondering whether thi

With the two casseroles in the oven, he leaned against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest, wondering whether this would be the last time he cooked a large meal in his kitchen. Looking at their real estate options earlier that day had made the reality of moving come to the surface for him. It had also shown him just how different he and Sara were. She had appreciated the lighting and bright airy feelings while he had leaned toward hardwood floors and rustic features. Her big concern was how appropriate the space was for a child and his was the privacy. But his mind could rationalize that a relationship was about finding compromises and he had every confidence they could search out the appropriate solutions.

After a glance at the clock on the microwave, he pushed off the counter and headed to the bedroom to get ready fro their guests. Looking into his closet, he perused the outfits he'd worn time and time again in the presence of the very people that were coming to dinner that evening, but saw none of them as suitable. Every day he understood something new about a relationship. Today it was why people took so long to dress for random occasions that seemed somehow different when you have someone special to share them with.

He shut the closet doors, deciding rather to find out what Sara was wearing first. As if on cue, the water in the shower turned off. He stepped into the steamy room, breathing in the soothing lavender of her shampoo and body wash, letting memories of his lips pressed against the soft skin that held that fragrance wash over him. The sound of the shower curtain being pulled aside triggered his eyes to open and take in the beauty of her still wet curves, partially hidden by the plush terry towel that fell at just the right places.

Taking the few steps needed to close the distance between them, he pulled her to his chest, simultaneously crushing his lips against hers and lifting her over the edge of the tub that separated them. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, crushing the towel between them.

With her chest still firmly pressed against his, she spoke into his lips, "Something you wanted?"

A growl escaped him as he attacked her neck with his mouth. In between wet kisses, "I've…always…fantasized…about…having…a…quickie."

After a sultry laugh, "You've never had one?"

He kicked the door shut and pressed her back against the painted wood. Swirling blue eyes met chocolate, both filled with desire, "Not yet."

Sapphire eyes deepened to navy as she pulled the towel from between them saying, "You have five minutes."

As he tucked the gray polo into his black slacks, he watched Sara's reflection in the bathroom mirror thru the half-opened bathroom door as she tinted her lashes with a hint of mascara and noticed the natural blush still on her cheeks. Moving to step behind her, he ran a hand thru his damp hair and quickly checked his reflection one last time before kissing the back of her bare neck.

"I'm going to check dinner. Everyone should be here soon."

Her eyes found his in the mirror, "Was it worth the wait?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

He listened to her laugh as he made his way to the kitchen with the mixed feelings of calm satisfaction and the excited anticipation of sharing the fact that he and Sara were in love with their closest friends.

Catherine was the first to show up, closely followed by Jim then the rest of the guys. Everyone gathered in his living room until he called them to the table, seemingly content to just be together.

It wasn't until halfway thru dinner that Nick finally asked, "Alright, Grissom, what gives? You gonna tell us why we're here or what?"

Then Greg piped in, "Yeah. Are you gonna tell us why you quit?"

He cleared his throat before responding, "Actually I am." He emptied his glass then, "I know this came rather suddenly to all of you, but I am actually leaving. Right now I am on a leave of absence, but I won't be returning. It will surprise you all, I'm sure, to know that I'm leaving for a woman."

Greg nearly choked on his drink while Catherine and Jim stifled their laughter. It was Warrick who verbalized his response, "It's about time."

Then it was Nick who finally fell in to their plan, "Speaking of love, I think Sara has some news she needs to share with you." Pretending to be interested, Grissom turned his eyes to her, "She got engaged while you've been out and she's being pretty secretive about it."

"Really? Sara?"

She turned to him, focusing on him and no on else. "Yeah, I, uh, fell in love. I'm getting married. He's perfect and I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

"When are you getting married?"

"Any day now."

"How about this weekend?"

"Really?"

"Really."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Dear."

Their lips met in a quick kiss before Nick whined, "Man, I thought you were dating Jim."

The whole room erupted into laughter then truths were set straight and stories of their relationship were told. When it got close to the gang needing to leave for work, Catherine finally asked, "So are you two really getting married this weekend?"

Without hesitation both of them replied, "Yes."

Then Sara asked, "Catherine, will you stand with me?"

A slight blush rose in her cheeks, "You know I will."

"Thanks. And since Gil already stole Jim for his best man, you three get to fight over who gets to walk me down the isle. I'm not going to choose, because I love you all and I don't want to know your decision until the second I need to start walking because I know how many times you'll change your mind."

"The other two of you can keep my mother company."

A round of congratulations came before the gang left for work, leaving the couple to clean up the mess. After the last dish was put into the dishwasher, he pulled her into his arms, "You ready for this?"

"I've been ready."

"You need a dress."

"I've got two days."

"We need to get my mother a flight."

"You do that. I'm going to call Conrad and ask for this weekend off. Should I invite him to the wedding?"

"Probably should. And the sheriff and undersheriff."

"_You're _being politically correct?"

"Well, I'd like them to consider accepting my early retirement rather than just my quitting; the benefits are better."

"Okay. I'll pass it on. I'll, uh, wait for you in bed."

"Mmm. I'll be there as quick as I can."

"Good. This will be the last time you get to make love to me as a single woman. I have to work the next two nights."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Thirty minutes later, after booking his mother's flight and sending her an email with the flight arrangements, he found Sara reading a textbook in bed. He leaned against the doorframe, taking in the beauty that would solely belong to him in a matter of just a couple days.

Without looking up, she murmured, "Something you want?"

"You."

"What are you waiting for?"

His tone deepened, "Undress."

She finally looked up, finding him leaning with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes swirling with passion. "Another fantasy?"

"Maybe." She arched an eyebrow. He paused before almost growling, "Yes."

She smiled before setting the textbook on the table and moving to the end of the bed to stand in his full view. His gaze nearly burned holes in her body as she removed each piece of clothing and dropped them one by one on the floor to pool at her feet. He took the few steps toward her and placed a finger to her lips, signaling for her to not speak. Then he whispered, mere inches from her ear, "Don't move."

He treasured every second like it was the last. Every touch, every kiss was memorized, permanently implanted in the secret place in his mind he kept just for these moments. He would never forget.


	22. Chapter 22

Gil Grissom's heart was at peace, much as it had been since two o'clock the previous afternoon when he'd been standing in fron

Gil Grissom's heart was at peace, much as it had been since two o'clock the previous afternoon when he'd been standing in front of the makeshift Vegas church with Jim by his side. Until that point, his heart had been beating in a rapid, uneven rhythm, the pounding reminding him every moment that his nervousness had peaked. But when Sara had appeared at the end of the isle with her arm linked with Nick's, his heart had immediately calmed. An inner peace took over him as he watched her glide toward him in the most perfect white dress he'd ever seen. No beads or lace were needed to adorn the simple white satin that seemed to have been sown for her body alone.

His eyes had never left her the entire ceremony, lost in her beauty that the world would now know belonged to him. When they had been pronounced husband and wife, tears burned his eyes as his heart leapt in his throat. Their lips had met in the most perfect kiss filled with all the love that had built in their hearts. In that moment, the world around them had melted away, leaving just the two of them lost in their love for each other.

Then, much to everyone's amazement, Gil Grissom had mingled, with his wife at his side. He had laughed and joked, even with Conrad, introducing Sara as Mrs. Grissom. And Conrad had surprised him as well, granting Sara a week off for a honeymoon. Catherine and Warrick had presented them with gift certificates to quite a few restaurants. They had gotten tickets to a local opera from Nick and a pound of the coffee they loved from Greg. Doc Robbins, David, Jim and even the sheriff and undersheriff had stuck with cash while his mother had given them a collection of picture frames and a wedding album.

Even though they'd asked his mother to stay for a few days, she'd insisted upon returning home to let them enjoy their honeymoon. She'd even made plans to stay at Jim's overnight since her plane didn't leave until the next morning.

Finally alone, they'd wasted no time, moving immediately to the bedroom, and had made love for the first time as a married couple. And now, with her hair tangled in curls splayed across the pillow, the sheet barely covering the swell of her breasts and a hint of a smile across her face, he watched his wife sleep. His wife. _His _wife. He loved her; more than life itself. He wondered slightly how it had taken him more than fifty years to realize that this moment was what he'd been waiting for his whole life.

Suddenly, he knew what he needed to do next. Leaving the comfort of their bed, he missed her momentarily before regaining his spot next her, relishing in the warmth she provided. She provided so much for him; warmth, comfort, love, belonging, desire. All the things he needed in life to keep going. She was his sole mate; the person he could share his personal space with, the person he could tell all his secrets to, the person he'd do anything for.

Another hour passed before she woke up with almost an instant smile on her face. They spoke in hushed tones, even though there was no on else in the room. "Good morning, Mrs. Grissom."

"I love that as much as you do."

He brushed stray hair behind her ear. "Good, because you're kind of stuck with it."

"Good. How long have you been up?"

"I didn't sleep."

"Why?"

"Because I was I afraid if I closed my eyes the dream would end."

"It's not a dream, Babe."

"Babe?"

Her smile widened. "You don't like that?"

His forehead wrinkled. "I guess I could learn to like it."

"If you don't like it, say so. It's okay."

He paused momentarily before replying, "I don't like it."

"Okay. We'll see what the next one is that slips off my tongue." They both laughed. "I'm going to go take a shower. You sleep. I promise that I will be here when you wake up."

"Wake me up in a hour?"

"Okay." She kissed him fully on the lips before heading to the bathroom. She glanced back once when she got to the doorway and found him staring after her before she slipped behind the closed door.

An hour later, just as she promised, she sat on the edge of the bed and whispered his name. "Gil." She lightly shook his shoulder. "Hun, it's been an hour."

He stirred and smiled. "I like that one better." After stretching, he opened his eyes and saw the serious look in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

He pushed up on one elbow before he saw what she held in her hand. "I got your note."

When he had slipped out of bed, he'd placed a post-it note on the pack of pills that had appeared in the medicine cabinet quite a few weeks ago. It simply read, 'Don't'. "And?"

"What changed?"

"I realized that a large part of a marriage is about compromise and recognizing your partner's desires. You desire to have a child."

"Do you desire to have a child?"

"I desire to make you happy."

"That's not what I asked."

"I know." He paused. "I don't have the same desire to have a child that you do. It's different. I desire to share the rest of my life with you. I desire to love you. I desire to have a family, whether that be you and I or you, I and a dog or you, I and children. The fact that I am not _against _having children, makes it the right decision to have children since _you _have that desire."

She raised one eyebrow. "I must love you, because even thought that explanation sucked, I think I actually sort of understand you."

"And?"

"And…I'm still not sure you're ready."

"Can I prove to you that I am?"

With a smirk, "Yes."

He sat up, ready for his challenge. "Okay, name it. I'll do whatever you ask."

She stood. "Get dressed. We need to go out."

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed without hesitation. "Do I have time for a shower?"

"Sure. I need to make a couple calls anyway."

He kissed her before heading into the bathroom saying over his shoulder, "I'll be ready in half an hour."

She was making breakfast when he emerged from the bedroom. The smell of French toast and freshly brewed coffee drew him into the kitchen. She handed him a steaming cup saying, "We have a little time before our appointment."

"Okay. Anything I can do to help?"

"Nope. It's almost done. Paper's on the table."

Venturing to the table, he found the paper, opened to the crossword instead of the real estate ads, with a pen lying beside it. Yes, he loved being married. She joined him with full plates a few minutes later.

"So, can I ask what our plans are for the day?"

"Sure."

She was silent. "So literal. Okay. What are our plans for the day?"

"I'm not telling."

He laughed. "Very cute."

A few moments passed before, "I called Conrad and asked to extend my vacation until the day after Christmas."

"And?"

"The gang had already volunteered to cover Christmas so he approved it."

"Great!"

"Yeah, so I thought we could get a tree."

"Hmm. I haven't had a Christmas tree since I was a little boy."

"Big shock!"

"We'll have to buy decorations."

"I have some." Her phone rang before she could say anything else. He listened intently to her side of the conversation, searching for any clue as to the events that would fill their day. "Hello? Everything cleared? Yes, we can bring that…anything else? Yes, forty-five minutes is fine…thank you."

She stood, flipping her phone shut in the process. "Let's go."

"Yes, Ma'am."


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Notes: Ok, so I know this probably couldn't happen, but I just thought it was so friggin' cute

Author's Notes: Ok, so I know this probably couldn't happen, but I just thought it was so friggin' cute!!

When Sara pulled the SUV into the lot, he managed to catch the name of the facility as they drove by the sign. He couldn't stop himself from saying the name out loud. "Clark County Orphanage".

She put the car in park before responding. "There's a holiday program. Registered foster parents are pre-approved and I called earlier to give your information and my married name to make sure we were approved as a couple." He waited quietly for her to continue. "We can choose to give a child or children a family Christmas. There's no long-term commitment; just Christmas."

Of all the things that had run thru his mind, this hadn't been one of them. He wanted to spend their first Christmas together. It wasn't his intention to share their day with a child they barely knew. Trying to keep an open mind, "How does it work?"

"All we do is meet the children today. They don't know why we're here. If we choose a child, the staff will give us the letter they wrote to Santa, giving us ideas for what they want for Christmas. We'll also get a list of their clothing sizes. We come here for pickup the morning of Christmas Eve and bring them back the day after Christmas by 6pm."

They were both quiet for a long moment. Her waiting for him to refuse to go in, him waiting for her to tell him it was time to go in. His mind raced. He had said he was ready for Sara to try and get pregnant, not that he was ready to instantly become a father.

But she really wanted this. He finally broke the silence. "I'll try."

Seemingly shocked, "Really?"

"Yes. I'm not making any promises. But I'll try. I'll try for you."

In a whisper, "Thank you."

He kissed her lips before changing the mood and nearly jumped out of the car. "Let's do this."

She had to jog to catch up with him and caught his hand in hers. Before they walked into the door, she tugged at his arm, turning him toward her. "Thank you."

"You said that already." He kissed her nose. "Come on, Dear. Let's not keep the children waiting."

It was over a half-hour and a ton of paperwork later that they were finally lead to a set of double doors. On the other side, they would find nearly a hundred children that would be spending Christmas in an orphanage, rather than with a family.

Mrs. Carson, the woman who had been with them since they arrived, asked, "Do you have any other questions before you go in?"

His concern had grown over the past half-hour, "How many won't get chosen for this program?"

"These are the eighty seven who haven't been chosen yet. We have fifteen more families signed up to come in over the next few days, just like you. So, to answer your question, quite a few."

"What will happen to them?"

"We are funded by the county, and thanks to donations, we buy each child a gift that they get to open on Christmas morning. We also have a company that provides each child with a pair of holiday pajamas."

"That's so sad."

"That's why we do this program every year." They all stood in silence before, "Anything else?"

His head hung just a little. How could he be so selfish? To want Sara to himself while all these children suffered. "No."

"Okay, then. Take as much time as you need. When you're finished, please just come back to my office. If you have chosen any children, we'll fill out the paperwork. If not, we'll send you on your way and mark you off our list. No hard feelings. We understand how hard this can be and appreciate the fact that you are making the effort."

She turned and walked away before Sara asked him, "Are you okay?"

"I don't know if I can do this, Sara. Children. Their faces."

"We don't have to go in if you don't feel up to it."

It took him a few moments before, "No. I'm doing this." He didn't give himself a chance to change his mind. He walked thru the doors to find children running and playing, most seemingly happy, and froze in place.

Placing her hand on his arm, "Are you okay?"

"I thought they would be sad, gloomy."

"It's not all bad, Gil. They come in this room when perspective families are looking to adopt a child. Families want happy children. This is exciting for them."

"So we don't get to see them cry themselves to sleep, just act like they're happy to see if they'll fit in with the status quo. How quaint." She was silent and he knew he'd hit a nerve. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize how much this would hurt."

"It's okay. I understand."

"Were you ever in a place like this?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

She watched him walk away, weaving around children, scanning the room. She took a deep breath before she headed into the crowd herself. For him, this seemed depressing, for her, this was a time to help, to provide whatever happiness she could to whatever children she could.

She played, she laughed, she listened. Children surrounded her, all eager for attention and whatever love she could provide, no matter how brief it might be. She asked names, trying to remember, knowing she wouldn't. Mostly, she had fun.

Hours later, the children were all called for dinner, filing out thru a different set of doors than the couple had entered, leaving the two standing in the empty room. His eyes found hers across the massive, silent room. She made the first move toward him.

When she finally stood in front of him she asked, "What do you think?"

"I don't know."

"We can just leave."

She wasn't ready for his immediate answer, "No."

"Okay."

"What do you want?"

"I want to provide Christmas for a child; take them away from here."

"And then what? Send her back here after teasing her for a few days? Making her think that life can be good but then just throw her back into this life of sadness?"

"I think it's better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all."

"For who? You or the child?"

She bit her lip. "That hurt."

He gathered her in his arms. "I am so sorry, Sara. This is all just so confusing. When we got here I was terrified of being an immediate parent. I was angry that you wanted me to share you on our first Christmas."

"Now?"

"Now…now I want…I don't know."

"You have to figure it out."

"I know." He was quiet for a moment. "I need to go talk to Mrs. Carson."

"Alone?"

"No. You're my wife, Sara. I have nothing to hide from you."

Ten minutes later, they were seated in office chairs. "So, you two spent a lot of time with the children. Did you come to any decisions?"

She sat quietly while Gil spoke. "This…this is very difficult for me."

"Don't feel bad. This process isn't for everyone."

"Don't. Don't patronize me." She nodded. "My problem is with the temporary state of happiness being provided to innocent children who don't understand that in three days they get thrown back into this life that they dream every day of getting out of."

"I see. Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

"Yes. I need to know if we can keep the children if we decide to."

Both women gasped. Sara grabbed at his arm, "Gil?"

He turned to her. "I need to know, Sara." His eyes pleaded with hers. "I think it's better to have loved eternally than to have love and lost." After her slight nod, he turned back to the woman across the desk, "Mrs. Carson?"

"Umm…of course you could be given the option of permanent placement."

"How hard is that process?"

"Honestly, Mr. Grissom, it's very rare these days that we even get families in here to adopt. You see, we are the county-run facility, where children come when they are hard to place for one reason or another."

"What would those be?"

"Our two biggest reasons are being part of a large family and age. People want to adopt infants and toddlers of which we have none. Our youngest is four. So getting back to your original question, I'd say the process would not be very hard. The county would gladly see children placed rather than stay here."

"Good." He turned back to his wife, "Did you already pick out a child?" Then to no one in particular, "I feel like we're at a pound."

"Umm, Julie. She's five and has blond hair."

Like a tennis match, he turned back to Mrs. Carson, "Does Julie have any siblings?"

"Yes, a twin sister, Samantha. They've only just arrived here about ten days ago."

"And there is a young boy, ten, dark hair, glasses. His name is Jacob. Does he have siblings?"

"Uh, yes." She paused. "He has a four year old sister named Amy and three brothers; Matthew, eight, Peter, seven and Eric, six."

Back to his wife, "What do you think?"

"I don't really remember all of them."

"No, I mean do you think we can take all seven of them?"

Sara was stunned. This was _not _what she expected. Silence engulfed her. How could she respond to that?

Mrs. Carson stood, nervously pressing her shirt flat against her stomach. "Why don't I just go get those files for you both to look at while you take a minute to chat?" Without waiting for an answer, she slipped out the door.

Their silence stretched into several minutes before Sara whispered, "Seven?"

"We can't split siblings up."

"But…we can't even fit that many children in our car. With a booster seat, we'll barely fit three."

"We could drive two cars. We'll only have to even put them in the car twice."

"Gil!"

"What, Sara? You wanted me to embrace this, right?"

"Of course I want you to embrace this. I just think we'll be pushing ourselves really far. Do you even know how much work it will take to care for seven children? And you're talking about not being able to send them back here. What are you going to do the day after Christmas when you have to bring those seven children back here?"

"I don't know, Sara. But Jacob…he's so smart. He has so much potential. So much that will go unnoticed if he's lost in this system. I can't take him and not his brothers and sister."

"You're not leaving here without him, are you?" She saw the look in his eyes and found her answer. "Okay. Compromise?"

"Okay?"

"We'll commit to the five. My heart isn't set on Julie like yours is on Jacob."

"When we come back the day before Christmas if Julie and Samantha aren't spoken for, you can always change your mind."

"Gil Grissom, you never cease to amaze me."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."


	24. Chapter 24

The next morning, after eight full hours of deep sleep, Sara insisted on a creating a plan over breakfast

Author's notes: Just two gentle reminders….one, I did change the rating 'cause…well…'cause it needed it!  And two, please review 'cause…well…'cause I love it!! I have had a couple inquiries as to the length of this fic and I have to tell you, that I just write. I have no idea where my story will end or even what path it will take from one chapter to the next. But, my mind is filled with enough ideas for this one to last at least another 5-10 chaps. So never fear, there's more to come! As we all know, I am longwinded! Thanks for reading!

The next morning, after eight full hours of deep sleep, Sara insisted on creating a plan over breakfast. He argued at first, wanting to dive right in, but then conceded, knowing that they would definitely need her organization skills over the next few days.

With a pad of paper and a pen in her hand, she began, "We have exactly one week."

"I know. I thought about that last night before I fell asleep."

"Okay. In those seven days, we need to buy all the Christmas presents."

"And wrap them." She scribbled as they each spoke.

"We also need to buy a tree."

"Shouldn't we wait for them for that?"

"We don't get them until Christmas Eve. We won't have time. We could wait to decorate it, though."

"Good. What are we going to do about sleeping arrangements?"

"Well, we could push the double bed in the guest room against one wall then get a set of bunk beds for the other side. Then all the boys should be able to sleep there. The paperwork says that Matthew and Peter sleep together now, so they probably will want to anyway."

"What about Amy?"

"We could just get a roll-a-way bed and put it in our room. She probably wouldn't be able to sleep in a room by herself."

"Okay, so a set of bunk beds, a roll-a-way, sheets, blankets, pillows, etc. What else?"

"Food."

"Easy."

"Christmas decorations, stockings, pajamas, some kid's Christmas DVDs."

"A minivan?"

"You want to _purchase_ a minivan?"

"We have to at least rent one."

She set the pen down. "I can't believe you're this focused on this."

"It's important to me."

"Okay…_rent_ a minivan. Can you think of anything else?"

"Isn't that enough?"

She glanced over their list. "I'd say. Today we should go to the furniture store. I have no idea how long it will take to get the beds delivered and set up."

"We can pay someone to put them up right?"

"If not, there's always the guys. Nick would love that!"

They finished organizing the list, planning out every day on paper, before Grissom dared to ask, "Can we open the Christmas lists now?"

She rolled her eyes before pulling the envelopes from the folder she'd taken possession of and tossed them on the table. He immediately reached for one, tearing it open like it was a present on Christmas morning. Each child was told to ask Santa for five different things and he was excited to learn as much as possible about each child before they started shopping.

He chuckled as he read thru Jacob's list, finding it exactly as he'd expected. At the top was an ant farm, which Gil secretly desired himself, and the rest of his wishes involved books and science kits.

Sara took an envelope when he took his second one, him opening Matthew's that was made up of cars, cars and more cars, and she opened Peter's who was asking for Legos, Magnetix and Tinker Toys. They took the last two, Sara ending up with Eric's who was all about art supplies and Grissom got Amy's, who evidently was the smartest of the five children. He read down the list, tears stinging his eyes. While her brothers had asked for all sorts of tangible, unnecessary objects, she had truly written what her heart wanted. All scribbled in barely legible, misspelled, but recognizable words was a numbered list. One was a daddy, two a mommy, three a new house, four her own room and five a doll.

In one motion, he stood and tossed the paper across the table toward his wife, "This is why I didn't think I could do this."

She read over the letter as he walked away, first merely amazed at how well the four year old little girl could write and sound out words. But then her mind started recognizing the actual meanings behind the words that were scribbled in crayon, and the tears that she'd seen in her husband's eyes now threatened her own.

Wiping the dampness from her lower lids, she went to seek Gil out, finding him seated on the edge of their bed with his face in his hands. She sat down gently beside him and, with the little girl's letter in one hand, placed her free hand on his jean-clad thigh. In a whispered tone, "When I was in an orphanage after my mother went to prison, I hoped every day that I'd be the next one taken home by any one of the seemingly perfect families that came in. But time after time, I was disappointed. It didn't take me long to figure out that only the younger children would be finding families; I would be there until I went to college, or turned 18."

She was quiet for a moment, tracing unrecognizable shapes along his leg. "I thought this was a way for me to give hope to a little girl like me. I didn't even realize that I was just the same as every other person that walked thru those doors. Of all the children there, I chose a five year old. Huh. But not you; you found a boy that needs you. You saw something in him that no one else did, or will. You're his hope."

He didn't raise his head, but in words muffled thru his entwined hands, "Don't. Don't make me sound like some kind of hero." She heard the hurt in his voice; a hurt that she'd felt herself so many times in her life.

"Gil?"

"This is just so hard, Sara. She asked for parents for Christmas. She's four."

"Gil, look at me." She waited in a long silence before he turned his damp eyes to meet hers. "I love you. If you can't do this, that fact won't change."

"I just don't understand how this can be so easy for you."

She bit her lower lip, trying to control the hurt he'd caused by that single, rash statement. "Easy." The sarcastic tone was unmistakable. "You think this is easy for me?" Her voice rose with each word. "You think I don't see myself in every one of those children's eyes? You think I don't remember crying myself to sleep every night, hoping that tomorrow would be the day I would have a family again?" She stood, the forgotten child's list falling to the floor. "You think I don't understand false hope? You think I don't remember being unloved?"

He cringed, knowing the last two questions had so much more to do with him than her. His voice remained calm and even, his heart fighting the urge to match her angered tone with his own. "Then how can you be so calm? Where's the Sara I know; the Sara who cries over a dead gorilla, or spends unpaid hours searching for the identity of a Jane Doe?" He couldn't stop the rising of his voice as he stood, "How can you show passion for cases and not for this, our life?"

Her arms flailed, "Our life? What does this have to do with our life? This is about children neither one of even knew until yesterday; children that don't belong to us!"

"I did this for you!" His finger pointed accusingly at her chest. "You said you wanted children! These are children that I'm considering raising…as their _father_…with my _wife_…as their _mother_! _This_ has _everything_ to do with our life!"

He watched as she crumbled, tears turning to wrenching sobs, her knees giving in to the pressure of holding her own body in a vertical position. He barely covered the distance between them, catching her just before her knees hit the floor, merely softening the blow to the wood underneath her. Struggling with her limp body, he pulled her onto his lap, tucked her head under his chin and let her cry into his chest.

His body rocked back and forth with hers as he whispered apologies. He started feathering kisses in her hair and then moved to her face to kiss the tears away as her sobbing began to lessen. He tears turned to sniffles and then to moans as she attacked his neck with her mouth. Her body shifted on his lap, her legs straddling his as she pushed her hands into the graying curls and firmly yanked his head back giving her full access to the bare skin over his shirt collar. His body immediately reacted to the needs of hers, even though his mind couldn't understand.

She yanked at his shirt, struggling to pull it over his head and out of her way. Once it was on the floor beside them, she pushed him back on the floor, moving quickly to continue her quest with his chest. Her lips felt like fire, her teeth like nails. Never having been into pain or dominance, he was shocked at his pulsing arousal, begging for her touch.

His hands groped for something to grasp onto as she slid her body down his. Finding nothing, he pressed his palms flat against the hardwood floors, his fingertips turning a ghostly white. Her biting at his jeans caused an involuntary jerk of his hips and he growled her name. She slapped at his hands when he tried to help her with the button on his jeans, but didn't deny the rise of his hips and she yanked them over his thighs.

He was shocked when she stopped at his knees and turned her attention to newly exposed skin. His hands balled into fists and a moan escaped him when she took him into her mouth. The soft pressure of her tongue in contrast with the gentle scrape of her teeth drove him mad, to near begging.

In between sharp intakes of breath, "Sara…please…I…can't…"

Her mouth left him, only to give her time to yank her own jeans from her body. The heat from her mouth couldn't match the heat that surrounded him as she took him in one quick thrust of her hips. She wasted no time, finding a quick rhythm, roughly pressing him deep inside her. With no strength to slow her, his hands wrapped her small waist pulling her toward him with every thrust.

He could feel the pressure mounting, threatening to explode at any moment, helpless to stop her in her fervent need. He squeezed his eyes shut, "Sara…you…I…"

She quickened her pace, pushing him to the edge. His eye shot open when she pleaded, "Tell me!"

The desire in her brown orbs was unmistakable. She was running this show and this was what she wanted. He clamped his eyes shut again, giving in to her needs. But his pause was too long. She demanded, "Tell me!"

Breathlessly, "I'm…going…to…cum." He felt her tighten around him as he said each word and gave in when she gave the sexiest growl he'd ever heard with one last deep drive of her hips. His fingers dug into the skin at her waist as he held her in place, her pulsating around him carrying his orgasm to unforeseen heights.

Moments later she collapsed on his chest, his sweat soaking the shirt she'd never removed in her haste. Their chests heaved together, her breath warm against his skin.

It was his back that finally made him break their silence, "Honey, I love you, but this floor does not make a comfortable bed."

She let out a childish giggle as she freed him, which was echoed by a chuckle of his own when he tried to stand, only to be hindered by the waistband of his jeans that was still wrapped around his knees. He kicked the pants off and wordlessly finished undressing her before leading her by the hand into the bathroom.

He waited until the hot water was washing over both of them before speaking. "Not that I'm complaining, but would you mind if I asked what all that was about?"

She dipped her head shyly. "I…I didn't."

"Didn't what?"

"When you told me not to…I didn't take the pill."

He lifted her chin with his finger, "So being off the pill for less than a day makes you…a little…uh…wild?"

She laughed. "Yeah, uh, sorry about that."

With a sparkle in his eyes, "Don't be sorry." An evil grin came across his face before, "It's not something I could do all the time…but definitely could stay on the possibility list." Kissing him fully thru her laughter, she wrapped her arms around his neck. "So does this mean that we're trying to have a baby?"

Thru the droplets, she looked deep into his eyes. "I can tell you're ready now."

He took a deep breath. "I still don't know if I can do this."

"What do you want to do about that?"

Another deep breath, "I want us to be ready to adopt those children if I can't send them back there. If that's not a possibility then I need you to say so now so I can decide if I want to go thru with this."

"Do you understand that you're talking about five children?"

"I understand that the number of children we'll be taking care of during those three days would be the number we'd adopt. I'm prepared to keep them all together."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay." They both chuckled, weights being lifted. "I have just one more question."

"What is that?"

"Is this on tomorrow's list too?"


	25. Chapter 25

Pure exhaustion should have set in. They had been running on autopilot, obsessively following the list they'd created days ago. They'd shopped, which they both normally hated, but not this time. They'd slept fewer hours in the past few days than they did when they pulled doubles. They should be tired. But instead, they were laughing and full of energy.

A naked tree stood at one end of their living room, decorations piled in the corner and seven stockings were hanging on the wall. The refrigerator and cupboards were packed with more groceries than they had ever held before and a roll-a-way bed was nestled in the corner of their bedroom fully adorned with frilly pink and purple sheets and blankets. The guest bedroom had been decidedly turned into a boys' bedroom, minus the bunk bed parts strewn across the room and unwrapped gifts filled the floors and every other available surface of their living room.

Which is what led them to this moment. There was vegetarian lasagna in the oven and the gang would be there any minute. He stood behind his wife, his arms wrapped securely around her waist, his hands pressed flat against her stomach, a habit he'd taken up in the past couple days. She'd noticed, and asked him about it, only to be pleasantly intrigued by his answer. He wanted their baby know that he or she was loved by his or her father from the very first possible moment. He wanted to feel her body shift to harbor, carry and protect their unborn child. He didn't want to miss a moment.

He leaned his chin on her shoulder and asked, "So, do think they'll be surprised?"

"Who? The kids or the grown ups?"

Chuckling, "Both I guess."

There was a knock at the door. "I guess we'll answer half of that right now. Let's see who flips out first!" She went to answer the door while he went to check on dinner after he pressed his lips to her neck.

Everyone filed in after Sara opened the door, Jim quickly finding Gil in the kitchen, Warrick and Nick ventured into the living room while Catherine and Greg stuck close to Sara. It was Nick who let out a whistle, catching everyone's attention. The crowd followed his voice as he nearly shouted, "Looks like a toy store in here! How many kids are we talking about?"

Warrick stepped over and around the gifts like it was a maze saying, "Boy! You guys sure like to shop! It's gonna take forever to wrap this stuff!"

Grissom pointed to the bedroom saying, "Well, you're off the hook in that department. We need you, Nick and Greg in there putting those bunk beds together."

Jim faked offense, "Hey! Why do I get stuck wrapping?"

"Mainly because I'm not letting you show me up! But also because my wife won't let me get away with not helping to wrap, so I have to make someone suffer with me!"

Catherine finally noticed the stockings on the wall. "Is that seven stockings?"

Grissom moved behind Sara and placed a hand on each of her shoulders as she spoke, "Yes it is; five children and the two of us."

Greg's jaw dropped. "Five kids? How old are they?"

"Jacob is ten, Matthew is eight, Peter is seven, Eric is six and Amy is four."

The room was silent before Catherine finally had a breakthrough. "Wait a minute. If you guys are just doing this for three days, why did you buy bunks beds? These are kids. They would have been just fine having a mass slumber party on one bed or sleeping on the floor. And there is no way they are going to be allowed to take all these toys back to the foster home." She paused before turning to them and pointed an accusatory finger in their direction. "You're planning on keeping these kids aren't you?"

He felt Sara's shoulders stiffen under his hands. "We're…exploring our possibilities."

With her hands on her hips, "Do you have any idea what it takes to raise one child, let alone five?"

"Obviously not. That's why I said we were exploring, not that we had a definite plan."

Brass jumped in, "Yeah, well that's evident, since you have no idea that you're gonna have to live up to these standards next year!"

Everyone smiled, the mood in the room lightening, and Greg added, "Well, at least they're all older and we don't have to put together five cribs!"

Laughter erupted, "Yeah! And can ya'll imagine Grissom carrying around one crying kid in each arm?" The laughter increased after Nick's quip and only died down when Grissom himself rolled his eyes and headed for the kitchen saying that dinner was ready.

Sara and Grissom were put to the third degree during dinner, both glad to answer all the questions from their friends. But soon after everyone was finished eating, the Grissoms ushered everyone to their posts, determined to get as much done as possible before losing all their help.

The rustle of paper, the snipping of scissors, the tearing of tape and even the forged complaining from Jim couldn't muffle the sounds of wood smacking, tools clanking, deep laughter and mock arguments coming from the bedroom. But even though the volume was higher, the men finished putting the bunk beds together long before the wrapping was finished in the living room.

Sara abandoned her wrapping post to go make the beds while the guys surprisingly took her spot without argument. Over an hour later, with presents still needing to be wrapped, the gang left for work, offering words of encouragement for the couple and a plea to get together again soon.

Wrapped securely in his arms, "You know, we really should invite them over without the need for them to do something for us."

"I think we'll probably be pretty busy, but we could try to get together and celebrate Christmas."

"You think we could?"

"I don't see why not. Why don't you text Cath and ask her to arrange it? Time matters more to them than us right now."

He wasn't prepared for her sarcastic answer, "Yeah, right now."

He pushed her gently back to look into her eyes. His brow furrowed, "Sara?"

Faking innocence, "Yeah?"

"Don't."

After inhaling a deep breath, "It's nothing."

More sternly, "Don't."

Giving in slightly, "Okay. I was just thinking about how much I've liked actually getting to spend time with you. Once I go back to work…"

"Sara, why didn't you mention this before?"

"Because, I thought it would wear off, and I didn't want to bother you about something so crazy. We have enough to worry about."

"Number one, you're my wife. Nothing you have to talk to me about is a bother. Number two, this is not crazy. This is something serious we need to talk about. This is what we were supposed to be focusing on and instead we morphed into marriage, real estate and kids."

He gained a smile as she said, "We did sort of hit the fast forward button."

Gathering her to him again, "Better. Now, tell me what's been bothering you."

"I told you. When I go back to work, we won't get to spend as much time together. We'll sleep in different schedules, eat at different times…we'll barely do anything together."

Pulling her thru the maze of wrapped and unwrapped gifts, he made his way to a chair and pulled her onto his lap. "It sounds like you've decided to stay on graveyard."

"I…I don't know. I don't think I've had time to even think about doing anything else."

"Would you like to hear what I've come up with?" She nodded her head like a child. "Well, I think I've narrowed it down to two choices. First, there are two colleges that would like me to write a textbook for their entomology programs. Texas A&M would like me to join a committee, become part of the faculty, but have agreed to my conferencing in on most matters, rather than be there in person. SUNY Syracuse would like me to just write a textbook, following the current professor's general outline. My second choice is that I have about 40 requests to do paid seminars, which would keep me busy for about a year. I'm assuming along the way more requests would come."

"Wouldn't you be traveling a lot?"

"If I choose the second route, yes. Which is why I'm leaning toward the first option. I chose both because of the flexibility they provide because I am worried about the same thing you are. For years I've let my job dictate my every move. It pushed me away from you, forcing me to waste too many years. I don't want my job to come between us any more. In fact, I thought very seriously about retiring. I only decided against it because monetarily, I am not to a point where I can support you the way I want to."

"Okay."

"That's it, just okay?"

"What else should I say?"

"How about telling me what you think? Tell me how you're feeling about your job, what you want to do."

"I told you…I really don't know."

"Would you like to know what I think?"

"Sure."

"I think that if we're trying to have a baby, we need to sleep together. Or rather be in bed at the same time. I also think that if you do get pregnant, the job you are doing right now is not only not practical, but also unsafe. Not to mention that if we do decide to adopt five children, they need a mother who doesn't work two or three double shifts per week."

"Catherine does it."

"Just because I work with Catherine, doesn't mean I approve of her lifestyle. Being a CSI is not a job for a parent, single or otherwise."

She raised an eyebrow, "Are you serious?"

"Very."

"I have to get use to the fact that you attack our life with the same passion you attack your work with."

"Is that a problem?"

"No…actually, it's very attractive. The way that you can focus on so many things, but seemingly devote special attention to every detail…well…it's very sexy."

"Mmm. So will you think about what I said?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now, just how sexy does all this make me?"


	26. Chapter 26

The next morning, the sun peeking between the blinds and Sara tucked under his arm, Gil was woken by the shrill ring of the telephone beside the bed. Pushing as much of the sleep from his voice as possible he answered, "Hello?" He nearly lost the greeting from the other end of the phone, noticing that his greeting had changed without the first thought. Thankfully, he recognized the voice of their realtor and the apology she spoke for waking him. "It's fine, Jane. What can I do for you?"

Her southern accent and the excitement in her voice brought a smile to his face, "I've found an amazing deal for you and your wife. I know it's the day before Christmas Eve, but this is an offer that will go fast. I was hoping we could meet this morning. It's an exclusive offer for the two of you right now, but I have to re-list at ten am. It's a four bedroom in a gated community; it has a finished segregated basement, which could be converted into four more rooms without much work. It has four bathrooms and the price has just been reduced by $50,000."

"Sounds too good to be true. What time do you want to meet?"

She gave him the address. "It's already eight, so can we meet in an hour?"

"Well, my wife has a plan for today, but I think I can get her to make this exception. We'll be there."

Nearly an hour later, with Sara excitedly fidgeting in the passenger's seat, they pulled up to the gate beside the vehicle they recognized as Jane's. The window whirred as he pressed the button to lower it, brisk air blowing in. "Good morning, Jane. Should we follow you in?"

"Morning Gil, Sara. That would be great. I think you're going to like it."

They pulled into a freshly paved driveway that led to a two and a half car garage. The front yard had obviously been kept up by a lawn service, grass perfectly trimmed, bushes pristinely shaped. The two-story house had decorative green shutters against the bleach white siding and the red door made the house warm and inviting.

As they walked down the front walk, Jane started spouting off facts. "Okay, so like I was telling Gil earlier, this is four bedrooms. The basement is great! There are walls built to form semi-separated rooms, but doors would need to be added to create privacy. The house been listed for eight months and has been stagnant for two months with a pending offer and the owners are desperate to sell. They've already moved and have been paying two house payments for seven months. There was an inspection done two months ago when the last offer was placed and it passed, so that should not be a problem."

His curiosity peeked, "What happened to those buyers."

"Their contract pended on the sale of their house, which didn't sell. They had to back out. The sellers of this house just reduced by $50,000 and really want to sell before the first of the year for tax purposes."

"Okay, let's take a look."

They entered the font door, Jane morphing back into her description of the home. "Hard-wood floors in the common rooms, living, family and dining, travertine and granite countertops in the kitchen and all four baths, stainless appliances. There's new carpet in all of the bedrooms and the basement."

He stayed silent throughout the tour, enjoying all of Sara's gasps along with her silent enthusiasms. The rooms were all clean and bright, perfect for a family. The bedrooms were just the right size, the carpet great for playing and being gentle on knees and bottoms. A full bath on every floor along with one in the master suite, an expansive laundry room and an open layout left little to be desired. The large lot the house was set on along with the huge fenced-in back yard complete with a swing set and covered porch made the house near perfect.

Back in the living room, Gil noticed the look in his wife's eyes and took her onto the front porch after excusing them from Jane's presence. Once outside, "Okay. What are you thinking?"

Trying to control her excitement, "It's perfect! I love it! But can we afford it? We weren't looking in this community because of the prices."

"Well, with the price cut, it's in the range we wanted to stay in. I'd say we could offer lower since they're desperate to sell."

"Do you love it?"

"Love may not be the right word, but I do like it. I don't think we'll find a better deal, that's for sure." They were silent as he searched her eyes, finding the excitement he new he would. "Are you certain? This is a huge decision."

"Gil I really love it. It's perfect! We'll never find a house with this much potential in this price range. If we finish up the basement, we'll have seven private rooms, even if we leave the one large room as a game room in the basement. That means your office, my exercise room and five bedrooms. And we never thought we'd get a fenced in back yard, especially one this large."

"Okay, okay. Calm down. I get it. Just…let me do the talking. If you talk, we'll end up paying full price."

She nearly jumped into his arms before composing herself and walking back in the front door with her husband. As she was told, she was quiet while he spoke. "Jane, I believe we'd like to put in an offer."

Half an hour later, after paperwork was signed, they left the house with Jane telling them she'd let them know as soon as she got an answer. Sara was fidgeting in the seat beside him again like a child sitting in front of the tree on Christmas morning.

He tried to regain her focus. "We have to pick up the kids in the morning. What's on the list for today?"

"Umm…Christmas shopping for each other, finishing wrapping the kids' gifts at home, picking up the minivan and calling the agency to confirm that we'll be there tomorrow."

"Okay. So, let's go get the van now so that we'll have two vehicles then we can separate to shop." Not giving her time to argue, "You want to call the agency on the way?"

"Uh, okay." He listened to her side of the conversation, glad that she had something to focus her attention on. "Could I speak with Mrs. Carson please…Hi, Mrs. Carson, this is Sara Grissom…Yes, I was just calling to confirm that we'll be there tomorrow morning. Is nine okay…Yes…Good…That's great…Really…Okay, we will…Yes, see you then."

He waited until she flipped the phone shut before asking, "Everything okay?"

"I guess Amy has a cold. Mrs. Carson suggested we stop at the drug store and get some Tylenol and Robitussin. And she let me know that the twins got placed for the holidays."

"You okay with that?"

"Of course. I would have struggled if they hadn't."

"So is Amy all right?"

"Yeah, she just has a little cold."

"Okay."

Later that afternoon, after finishing their shopping and picking up their rental van, they were seated, once again, on their living room floor wrapping gifts when his cell phone buzzed. He glanced at the caller ID before answering. Sara's eyes shot to his when he spoke his greeting. "Hi, Jane. How are you?"

"Fine, Gil. I've got good news. Your offer's been accepted."

"Really? That fast?"

"They really want to sell. Their only contingency is that closing happens before the end of the month."

"Can it happen that fast?"

"If you're ready, I'll make it happen."

"Okay. Is there anything we need to do to get the ball rolling?"

"If I can get an inspection done tomorrow, I'll probably have more news by tomorrow afternoon. But don't worry if you don't hear from me before the day after Christmas."

"Okay, thanks Jane." He flipped his phone shut before nonchalantly saying to his wife, "We got the house."

She tried to contain her excitement, unsuccessfully. "We did? Seriously?"

"Seriously."

She jumped onto his lap, capturing his lips with hers. When she pulled back he saw the stars in her eyes and couldn't resist. "Come on, Mrs. Grissom. I think we should go celebrate in bed."

"Ooh, you devil!"

"You wouldn't have me any other way."

"You're right. Take me to bed, Gil."

Pushing her to her feet, he led her to their bed, his lips traveling her body every step of the way. She pulled her shirt over her head, momentarily breaking the contact between his lips and her skin, but freeing her body from the unwanted barrier. The desire to feel his skin against hers pulsing within her, she tugged at his shirt and jeans.

His hands caught her wrists, and her eyes found the fire in his when he ordered, "No." When she took a step back, "I want to make love to my wife." His voice softened, nearly faltered. "Please."

Her hands dropped to the waistband of her own jeans as she took measured, deliberate steps backward into their bedroom, slowly lowering the tight material over her hips, down her legs and finally stepping out of them before lying back on their bed. She beckoned him from across the room. "Make love to me, Gil."

He joined his wife in bed, feathering kisses over her exposed skin. Nipping, tasting, licking, even biting, he touched every inch before seeking out her lips. His hand dipped to the small triangle of cotton that still separated him from his inner desire. Gently, teasing, barely touching, he moved his hand over her, his erection pulsing at the moan that escaped her, jerking against her thigh when his fingers pressed hot, wet fabric that covered dark curls.

Not bothering with removing the material, he simply pushed it aside, dipping his fingers into the sticky, wet heat, nearly exploding his own desire as her hips arched against his palm. Slow strokes started the clamping around his fingers, increasing with his pace, quickly erupting in moans and deep pulsing as her fists curled into the sheets.

When her breathing slowed, her eyes fluttered open to meet his. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Mrs. Grissom."

"Take me, Gil."

He got up, swiftly removed his clothing as he watched her remove the last shreds that covered her. Poised above her, "You're already mine."

In one quick thrust, he entered her, growling as he sank into the wetness he'd created. "God, Sara."

She ground her hips into his, begging for more. "Yes."

Finding a rhythm, he drove in and out, quickly building the pressure he knew he couldn't hold back. "Sara?"

"Gil…yes."

Two more thrusts and he felt her tighten around him. With a final groan, he plunged inside her, releasing his desire deep within her, carried higher by her pulsating that beat with his own.

Collapsing beside her, he gathered her into his arms. "I think I can make it thru the next three days with a little girl in our room now."

"I believe I've corrupted you."

"Corrupted, no. Unleashed, maybe. Woken up, definitely."


	27. Chapter 27

At nine am, they were standing in a crowded room at the adoption agency in an unorganized group of parents waiting to pick up children. Mrs. Carson stood at the front of the room, clipboard in hand, stress evident on her face and strands of hair already fallen from the clip that was fastened at the back of her head. Not normally one to make his presence known, but also very short in the patience department, he pushed his way to the front of the crowd and came face to face with the woman in charge.

"Mrs. Carson, is there anything I can do to help?"

Tucking hair behind her ear, "Hello, Dr. Grissom. Um, I don't know. We're normally not this unorganized, but due to the higher volume of volunteers and children, we have unexpectedly found that we have to handle several families at once."

Tilting his head, with a raised-eyebrow look, "Would you mind if I tried to create a little order?"

Her eyes sparkled, "Not at all."

"Do you have any other empty room where parents could wait?"

"Um…yes. Two doors down on the right."

"Okay." Turning his attention to the group, he rose his voice. "Excuse me. Can I have everyone's attention, please?" The room settled and he continued. "Thank you. I realize we all have plans for today, so if everyone will work with us, we will get everyone out of here as quickly as possible. First, I would like to ask that anyone who does not have plans within the next hour, if you will please exit out the office door, travel two doors down on the right and wait there, we would like to prioritize just a bit. My wife will follow you and take each of your names and try to list you in order of need."

Sara approached as several families filed out. "Gil?"

With a hand on each of her arms, "We were never going to get out of here anyway. I thought we could help."

"_You're_ being political?'

"No, I'm trying to take our children home and this is the quickest way to do it."

With a smile she wondered how long it would take him to realize that he'd already decided not to return the children to the orphanage. Deciding to leave that up to him, she kissed his cheek before, "Okay. But we need to leave by two, okay?" After his nod, "Okay. I need a clipboard."

Mrs. Carson supplied a list of the parents and he supplied more direction, "When you see one family leave, send another our way." Sara disappeared and he turned his attention back to the five or so families still in front of him. "Okay, if I could have one parent from each family form a line over here, that would be helpful."

One by one, each family came and went and Gil's heart lightened as he watched the joy on each child's face as they were told they would be spending Christmas with a family.

Around eleven, Mrs. Carson got two employees to take the Grissom's place and insisted they go home for the holidays. "Please. You've been so much help. Thank you so much. You and your wife should really go home."

"If you're sure, I'll just go get Sara."

When he returned moments later, Mrs. Carson pulled them aside. "I wouldn't normally do this, but since Amy is sick, Sandi will take you back to her room to get her. She's asleep and Sandi can't lift her without waking her."

The Grissom's followed down the dimly lit hallway past rooms with army cots covered in scratchy wool blankets lined against walls. His hand tightened around his wife's as he saw the sad looks that he'd expected the first day. There were no happy faces, no running around. Children sat on the edges of beds, legs swinging, faces rested on fists.

She tugged at her husband's hand as they came to the room they were to enter and questioned his state of mind with her eyes. His fluttered shut as he shook his head, denying his ability to speak at that point. He only let go of her hand when they stood above the curled up little girl on the tiny bed in front of them. Kneeling down, he pushed the damp strands of hair back from her face, immediately realizing that her temperature was dangerously high.

His eyes shot to his wife's. "She's burning up." Sara pressed her wrist to the child's head and nodded, eyes filled with concern. To Sandi, "Did the doctor say she was okay?"

"What doctor?"

A little annoyed, "The doctor Amy saw when she got sick."

"Oh…umm…children don't see a doctor here unless their condition deems it necessary."

"And a temperature over 100 degrees doesn't deem a visit necessary?"

"I don't really know. I only help out on weekends."

Gritting his teeth. "Okay, when's the last time she had her medicine?"

Her head hung, knowing her answer would not be what he wanted, "I'd have to go check, but I don't think she's on any."

He stood, anger brewing. "Where are the boys?"

"Down the hall."

"Bring them here." It was not a request. Sandi merely nodded before turning and doing as she was told. He turned to his wife, fingers balled into fists. "Sara?"

"Gil, calm down."

The decibel of his voice startled even himself, causing him to immediately lower his tone. "Don't…don't tell me to calm down." A little bit louder than a whisper, but in a definite hiss, "She's sick! She should have been to a doctor days ago!"

"I know, Gil."

"If you know then why are you telling me to calm down?"

"Because I've seen you get mad. I don't need to have to bail you out of jail on Christmas Eve."

Amy morphed into a coughing fit as her brothers filed into the room. Immediately seating himself on the bed beside the little girl, his hand rubbing her back. Sara watched as her husband melted. His eyes rose to hers, a sadness she'd never seen before filling the blue orbs. "Sara?"

She needed no other words. He was done. This was all his heart could take. "I know, Honey."

He lifted the little girl into his arms asking her brothers, "Does she have anything we need to take with us?" Matthew stepped forward and picked up a frail bunny from the bed and silently handed it to Sara. "Okay. Do you boys have everything you want from here?" Four nods followed before he turned to his wife. "Sara, take the boys to the car. I'll be out in a minute."

"Gil…"

In a warning tone, "Sara, take the boys to the car. I'll be out in a minute." After a curt nod, she turned and ushered the boys out. Moments later, with the sick little girl curled in his arms, he approached Mrs. Carson and took a controlling breath before speaking. "Excuse me."

With a smile that soon faded as she saw the look on his face, she followed him to the corner of the room. "Yes Dr. Grissom?"

In hushed, but distinctively harsh, tones, "Amy is very ill. She should have seen a doctor days ago. We'll be taking her to the emergency room on the way home. And I do mean _home _Mrs. Carson. These children will _not _be returning here." A smile formed on here face before his next words pushed it away. "I promised my wife I wouldn't lose my temper, but know this, Mrs. Carson. I don't know what kind of establishment you're running here, but I have some connections in pretty high places and I wouldn't mind calling in a few favors to ensure the safety and welfare of the children that are residing here. Remember that next time a child gets sick and needs medical attention."

"I understand."

"Good. We'll be waiting to hear from you about the procedure for permanent placement." She merely nodded before he turned to leave.

He found Sara standing beside the van, the side door open and the boys peering out in silence. "Sara, would you drive to the hospital, please? Jacob, please sit in the front seat so I can sit with your sister in the back."

Everyone was seated and the car was in motion before Jacob spoke. "Dr. Grissom, will my sister be okay?"

"I'm not a medical doctor, Jacob. I'm a doctor of science. But I'm sure she will be fine as soon as she sees the right kind of doctor. And you don't need to call me Dr. Grissom."

"Mrs. Carson told us to call you Dr. and Mrs. Grissom."

"It's not necessary."

"What should we call you?"

His mind whirled. He took the easy way out, "We'll talk about that later."

"Yes, Sir."

Sara took the boys to the gift shop, to the nursery window and to the cafeteria while Gil never let go of Amy. Two hours later, exiting the pharmacy, prescription in hand, he called his wife to meet him at the car. Amy was awake, her head resting on his shoulder as Sara and her brothers approached. He saw the concern in the five pairs of eyes and tried to ease their worried minds. "She's going to be fine. She has a double ear infection and was dehydrated, but they gave her IV fluid and a high dose of antibiotics. We also have two prescriptions to give her." Five smiles appeared. "Now, how about we go decorate our Christmas tree?"


	28. Chapter 28

The boys clambered out of the van, each carrying a plastic shopping bag of clothes. At the door, Gil gave orders to take off their shoes once inside. Amazed that each boy followed his exact move, kicking their shoes underneath the table by the door, he led them directly to their bedroom.

"Okay boys, this is where you'll be sleeping. I'm sorry it's so small, but it's only temporary." But the boys saw no problem with their new room. Matthew and Peter jumped onto the double bed together, Jacob climbed to the top bunk and Eric flopped onto the bottom. With a chuckle, "All right. You'll find clean pajamas in the dresser drawers. We'd like to take pictures while we decorate the tree, so how about we get bath time out of the way so we can watch a movie after dinner?" Just as quickly as they'd climbed into the beds, they climbed off again and all ran to the dresser, quickly pulling open the drawers. "We only have two bathrooms and one only has a shower. So you'll have to take turns."

Jacob's eyes lit up. "You mean we get to take a shower all by ourselves?"

"Of course you do. I'll tell you what, why don't you go first? Shower or bath?"

"Shower!"

"Okay, who wants to take a bath first?" The tug of his shirt immediately drew his attention. Amy, still wrapped in his arms, was silently putting in her plea to take the first bath. He turned to the three young boys, "How about we let Amy take the first bath since she doesn't feel good?"

Sara, who had been silently watching her husband transform into father of the year, stepped in as he led Jacob to the shower in their master bath. "Okay guys. Let's see what you've got in those bags."

Eric's little legs carried him quickly to the bag he'd dropped on his bed and brought it back for her inspection. Each bag couldn't have contained more than one outfit apiece and maybe a pair of pajamas, but guessing from the clothes they were wearing, probably none of them were wearable. They had expected as much and had bought each child several outfits for Christmas, but judging from the poor fit of the clothing they were wearing, she wondered whether they'd been given the correct sizes.

Just as she'd determined she'd been correct about the contents of the bags, Gil reappeared with Amy still in his arms. "Sara, would like to give Amy her bath?"

For the first time, the little girl spoke, "No."

Sara raised an eyebrow, realizing that Amy had already become Gil's little girl, completely understanding the connection. "Uh, I'm okay here with the boys. We'll take a little tour and get the decorations ready while you give Amy her bath." Without even a falter in his eyes, he turned toward the bathroom, bouncing the little girl in his arms.

Jacob returned from his shower long before the giggling from their main bathroom ended. In fact, Matthew made it out of the shower at just about the same instant that Gil emerged with Amy wrapped in a towel, still laughing.

Looking up from the little girl that had, at least temporarily, stolen his heart, "Who's next in the bath?"

Eric shouted, "Me, me!"

As Eric was dragging Sara by the hand into the bathroom, she said over her shoulder, "Peter's next in the shower."

Gil snuck in a kiss on the way by then carried Amy into their bedroom. Just as he was finished pulling on the girl's pajamas, Jacob appeared at the door.

"You okay, Jacob?"

"Could I talk with you a minute, Sir?"

"Of course." To the little girl, "Amy, would you go find your brothers while I talk to Jacob?" Her little head nodded before she ran out of the room, her tiny feet slapping the wooden floor. When she was gone, "What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to tell you that even though I don't believe in Santa Claus, Eric and Amy still do. Matthew and Peter, they don't believe either."

"Good to know. Thank you." He waited for a moment then, "Now why did you really come in here?"

His brown eyes dropped to the floor. "I…uh…just wanted to know what was going on here. Is this some kind of test or something…to find out whether you like us or not?"

His heart skipped a beat. All of the rest of the children had been told once they came out to meet their holiday family. Since he and Sara had gone back to get Amy, they had skipped the explanation. But now everything had changed.

Extended silence had caused alarm in Jacob's mind. "We don't want to be split up. You can't take Amy and not the rest of us."

Immediately regretting his pause, "Jacob, why don't you come here and sit down?" He patted the bed and waited for the boy to sit next to him. "We are not even thinking about splitting you up. I am paying closer attention to Amy because she's sick, not for any other reason. You are all here because my wife and I decided to participate in a holiday program. When I met you that day in the orphanage, we were deciding which family we wanted to bring home with us to spend Christmas."

"So, we go back when Christmas is over."

He struggled with lying; not wanting to say anything until after he and Sara had a chance to talk. "That…is how the program works."

"Then why did Mrs. Grissom throw all of our clothes away?"

"We…bought you new clothes."

"Why do you care about what our clothes look like when you won't ever see us again?"

He chuckled, amazed at how much the young boy reminded him of not only himself, but Sara also. "Okay, Jacob. You're too smart for me. We are considering adopting you…as a family."

"Really?"

"Really. But I'd appreciate it if this could stay between you and I until we decide, okay?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. Now let's go out and see what your brothers and sister are up to."

On their way out, Jacob stopped. "Dr. Grissom, I think it would be great if you were my dad."

Frozen in place, he watched the boy run out of the room without waiting for a response. What had he done? Had he created false hope? What if Sara had changed her mind? They hadn't even had a chance to talk.

He was still lost in thought when Sara walked in the room. "Hey, you ready to decorate the tree? The kids are ready to attack." She paused when she saw his face. "Gil, what's wrong?"

Running his hand over his face, "I, uh…we need a minute to talk."

"Okay. The kids will wait…I think."

After a roll of his eyes, "Jacob was just asking why they were here. We never told them about the program. I guess he noticed you threw their old clothes away. He was worried about them being split up." He was rambling; something he rarely did.

"You told him we're trying to adopt them, didn't you?"

"No…not really. I told him we weren't going to split them up. I told him we were considering adoption. I wanted to talk to you first. I didn't know…"

She wrapped her arms around his waist. "I haven't changed my mind. I'm still ready to adopt them."

"Really?"

"Yes. I knew you'd made up your mind at the agency. You told me that you were trying to take _'our children home'_. Then I saw your face when we found Amy sick in that bed. I knew then."

He pulled her flat against his chest and pressed his lips to hers. When he pulled back, "Anyway, I was sure you told Mrs. Carson off when you sent me to the car, or you would've let me stay. What did you tell her?"

He cleared his throat. "I…uh…may have threatened her a bit…that I'd have someone watching her…and then I told her we weren't bringing the kids back."

Her head fell back with her laughter. "So, what were you waiting for me for?"

He chuckled with her, amazed at how lucky he was. "So we can tell them?"

"Sure, why not?"

The buzz of his cell phone prevented his answer. He flipped it open with a smile. "Hello, Jane. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Gil. Your house passed inspection."

"Fantastic! What's next?"

"We need to sign the paperwork and get your bank in line."

"I called the bank yesterday. They're ready when we are."

"Great. So it's up to you."

"Well, something has come up on our end, and we would love to have a set of keys as soon as possible."

"I'll tell you what. If you can squeeze me in to sign some paperwork and give me your down payment check, I'll give you a set of keys today and we can finish up the paperwork after Christmas."

"That would be wonderful. Would you like to come here for coffee?"

"Is an hour okay? I'd like to finish up here so I can go straight home after we meet."

"No rush, Jane. We'll be here all night."

After the flip of his phone, "Gil?"

"Jane is going to come over tonight to give us a set of keys for our new home."

"Really?"

"I figured it would be good to show the kids tomorrow. Like an extra present."

The pitter-patter of little feet stopped further conversation. They would have to get used to that.


	29. Chapter 29

Gil snapped picture after picture with their digital camera as the children scrambled to hang decorations on the freshly cut tree while Sara quickly removed and put hooks on all the newly purchased ornaments. But their plan didn't work out as they'd planned, quickly realizing that only the bottom half of the tree was getting decorated. The children were thrilled, though, when Gil started picking them up, one by one, letting each of them take turns placing ornaments near the top. Sara insisted on snapping pictures of each child, against his desire to be in any photos.

Nearing the end of their short adventure, Gil announced, "All right. Now, we have some decisions to make. There are _five _special things that are going to happen in the next couple days and you guys get to decide who does what." Five pair of eyes were glued to him. "First, someone gets to put the star on the tree. Who wants to do that?"

As if it were the most important decision of their lives, the children all looked quizzically at each other until Peter asked, "Can we know the other four things first?"

A glance at his wife silently said, 'We are dealing with an intelligent group of kids here.' Out loud, "No. You'll have to decide if this is something you really want. All I will tell you is that each thing is equally special. Now, who wants to put the star on the tree?" Little Eric raised his arm in the air, waving it to make sure everyone saw. Gil picked up the little boy, thankful that one of the smaller children took this job, and hoisted him up to put the star on the top of the tree. Sara took a picture and all of the children clapped, both in excitement for completing the tree and anticipation of what would come next.

"The next special thing is to hang a _very special _ornament." His eyes sparkled as he glanced at his wife, waiting for the children's reaction. "Who wants to hang it?"

He watched the wheels in Jacob's mind, deciding whether this was the most special thing or if he should wait for what was to come. But the decision was quickly made when Peter shot his hand up and jumped in the air. Gil pointed to Sara, who handed the ornament to Peter. All of the children gathered around Peter to find out what was so special, all of them recognizing their own names written on it.

Without looking up Jacob asked, "Dr. Grissom, why does this ornament say all of our names and 'Our First Christmas'?"

Trying to remain nonchalant, "Because it is our first Christmas together."

The boy's eyes, wet with tears, rose to Gil's. "First?"

The rest of the children were oblivious to the exchange, still glued to the ornament itself. "Yes Jacob. First. Meaning first, second, third, fourth."

A tear fell down the boy's cheek. "Really?"

"As long as everything gets approved, which I don't foresee as being a problem."

Pushing his way past his brothers and sister, he jumped into Gil's arms, finally gaining the attention of the other children. Matthew, Eric and Amy ran to join in the fun, not even understanding what was going on yet, while Peter still held the ornament, looking back and forth from the tree to his siblings, struggling to decide which way to go. Sara finally took the ornament from his hand and pushed him toward the pile of children that had brought Gil to his knees and threatened to knock him further to the floor.

She laughed, perfectly content being the outsider and watching her husband lost in the sea of children; their children. But her solitude soon ended when Jacob stood and ran to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Thank you so much, Mrs. Grissom. We _promise_ to be good."

Moving down to his level, she gave him a hug before, "You're welcome Jacob, and I know you will. But maybe you should tell your brothers and sister what's going on."

With a smile, he whipped around, "Hey! Dr. and Mrs. Grissom are gonna adopt us. We get to stay here forever!" No sooner had he gotten out his last word did the rest of the children shout and pounce back onto Gil, this time knocking him completely to the floor. A mixture of giggles, squeals and unrecognizable words came from the pile, which Jacob quickly joined again.

Sara snapped another picture before Peter wriggled out of the mass and ran to Sara, asking for the ornament. He hung it on a branch with a smile from ear to ear then ran back to Sara, nearly knocking her over with the force of his body hitting her legs. Tears threatened her eyes as she ran her hands thru his silky brown hair, only to be stopped by the knock at their door. Peter's eyes shot to hers, asking silent permission to go answer the door.

Taking the boy's hand, they walked to the door together, opening it to Jane. "Hi, Jane. Come on in."

"Hi, Sara. Merry Christmas!" Looking down at the child, "And who's this little guy?"

"I'm Peter."

"Hello, Peter."

Jane followed Sara into the living room, finding Gil still on the floor wrestling with the other four children. "Hi, Jane. I didn't even hear you knock!"

"I can see that!" She giggled. "I didn't even know you had children, Gil."

"We didn't…until today."

Sara explained, "We picked them up from the orphanage today. We're adopting."

"That's…ambitious. I guess you all do need a large house!"

Gil untangled himself from the children saying, "Okay kids. We have some papers we have to sign, so you guys need to be quiet and watch television until we're done, okay?"

Ten legs scrambled to the sofa and chair while Gil put in one of the Christmas movies he and Sara had purchased. The credits started to roll with five pair of eyes glued to the television screen.

Nearly an hour later, with all their paperwork signed and a set of keys in their hand, Sara showed Jane to the door while Gil put the final touches on the dinner he'd been intermittently working on.

When Sara returned to the kitchen, she wrapped her arms around her husband's waist. "Are we really doing all this?"

"Yes, Dear, I believe we are."

They were interrupted a moment later by Jacob, who was standing in the kitchen doorway. "Excuse me, Dr. Grissom?"

First to his wife, "We have to address that soon." Though he wouldn't ask the children to cal him 'Dad' until they were ready, he also couldn't handle such a formal title. Then to the boy, "Yes, Jacob?"

"Amy and Matthew are complaining about being hungry."

"Dinner is just about ready. Why don't you all go wash your hands and then come to the table?"

Twenty minutes later, crowded around their small table, Gil tried to talk to the children, realizing that he knew only what their file had said. Their parents were both only children, which he assumed was their reason for having a large family, and had died in a car crash. The grandparents had been too old to take the children and no other family had come forward. "Do you all do anything special on Christmas?"

Excited that he got to talk, Peter piped in, "We used to get to open a gift on Christmas Eve!"

Then Matthew, "And eat cinnamon rolls for breakfast!"

Jacob, always the practical one, "We only get to open one gift at a time. And we do stockings then Santa's gift comes first."

With a smile, "Well, I think we can handle most of those things. I was going to make waffles for breakfast, though."

Reminding Gil of his earlier issue, Eric asked, "Dr. Grissom, will you read us the Christmas story?"

He took a deep breath, "First of all, you do not need to call me Dr. Grissom."

Before he could finish, Jacob asked, "What should we call you?"

He contemplated his answer, not wanting to necessarily push them in any direction. "Well, it's really up to you. My first name is Gil…or you could call me Grissom…and my wife's name is Sara. We just don't find it necessary for you to call us Dr. or Mrs. Grissom." The table was silent for a few moments before he addressed the original question. "Umm…what story did you want read Eric?"

"The one about sleeping and a mouse and Santa."

Sara chuckled, "He means 'Twas the Night before Christmas'. We bought it."

"Good. Then, yes, we'll read it tonight before bed."

Everyone continued to chat thru dinner, and all the children helped with clearing the table. From the outside looking in, they had become a perfect family, falling easily into routines like they had been done every day for years on end.

Later that night, after the movie they'd chosen to watch had ended, Sara suggested they each open a present. It took less than a second for the children to scramble to the tree and sit in a near perfect arch around it. Sara laughed as she went to the tree saying, "Okay, it's time for our next special thing. Someone gets to be first to unwrap their gift."

Matthew's hand shot into the air without hesitation. "Me, me!"

"Okay, Matthew. You get to go first." Paper tore and was tossed to the side as the young boy revealed the gift underneath. Each child followed, one by one each equally excited by the gift they opened.

Peter built a mini track with his blocks for Matthew to drive his little cars thru, Eric settled in the corner with his coloring book along side Jacob who was halfway thru the first chapter of his book. Amy, like a little mother, rocked her new baby doll that was snuggled in her arms.

Gil was seated on the couched with his arms wrapped around his wife, watching as their children played. It was then that the realization hit him that these were their children. This was his family. His heart skipped a beat. This was what he'd been missing.

His entire life, he'd been accepted, even honored, in his profession. But he'd never had this personal connection. This, above all else, was what he needed. His heart felt warm and full.

But the emotion he felt in that moment was nothing compared to the next. Rising from her position on the floor with her baby in her arms, Amy wandered to Gil and stood in front of him, rubbing her eyes. It had been a long day for her. When he reached his arms out to her, she climbed onto his lap and curled into a tight ball.

"Are you ready for bed, Amy?" He felt the nod against his chest and immediately rose with her in his arms. With a nod of his own head, he motioned for Sara to follow and took Amy into her bed. Once he pulled the covers up to her chin, he kissed her forehead, thankful that her temperature had gone down.

It was her little voice that captured his heart, forever staking her claim. "Goodnight Daddy."

He couldn't push away the lump in his throat or stop the catch in his voice. "Goodnight Baby."

Sara couldn't bring herself to interrupt the interaction between father and daughter, knowing that they both needed this moment with each other. She left Gil with the little girl and rejoined the boys in the living room. This would be her place. Gil, in his scientific mind, would be able to share himself with the boys, but his heart would forever belong to the little girl who needed her daddy. Every parent secretly had his or her favorite, and although she originally thought Gil's would be Jacob, she had underestimated the power of daddy's little girl.

Gil had eventually joined them in the living room, and after reading the promised story, they had ushered the boys to bed.

With everyone nestled, the couple took the few moments alone and cuddled on their sofa. His whispered words sent shivers down her spine, "I love you so much."

"I love you too." And then she waited. It had taken her years, but she'd figured Gil out. He had something to say, something most likely profound. She couldn't explain how she knew; it was just instinctive. So she waited.

Moments later, it came. "I can't believe how lucky I am. I don't deserve this. I've spent my whole life pushing you and any thought of love out of my mind. I created a life of loneliness, filling my life with my work, which is what I thought was important. But this…you, our marriage, having a baby, these children…that word…Daddy…it all has so much power. This is what life is about. This is happiness, fulfillment." He paused, though he wasn't done. She waited. "I'm going to take the job writing the textbooks for SUNY and Texas A & M. I want to be home with my family as much as possible. With my retirement from the county and the income from the colleges, monetarily at least, I should be able to support our family comfortably." He paused again, this time longer than the last. "I want you to quit your job and stay home. The kids need you…I need you."

In a whisper, "Okay."

He raised an eyebrow, not believing how easy that had been. He'd expected an argument, a lashing out, at the very least a heated discussion. "Really?"

"Really. I've waited over ten years for you to need me. Now you do. How can I deny you?"

Pushing his hands into the soft brown curls at the back of her head, he pulled her into their kiss, his tongue quickly finding its way into her mouth. She turned on his lap, pressing their bodies together.

His lips pulled from hers from pure need of oxygen, the desire in his eyes evident. "I never thought I'd hear myself ask this, but since the only empty room with a door is my office…have you ever made love on a desk?"

"Another fantasy?"

"Mmm. I have so many."

Leaning close, she sucked his earlobe into her mouth before whispering huskily into his ear, "Take me, Gil."

Twenty minutes later, with her half-naked body lying across his desk, him ready to enter her, she repeated her words. "Take me, Gil."

In a near growl, "You're already mine." With a few quick thrusts, they exploded together, lost in the world and love they'd created between them.


	30. Chapter 30

**Author's Notes: **So I have received SEVERAL requests lately to finish this story off and decided you were ALL right and I am ashamed that I never finished it. I haven't written in a really long time, so I hope this lives up to expectations. I am trying to get back at it though and I hope you'll be patient with me! Thanks for being faithful!

The next morning was a whir of commotion that Gil and Sara never could have planned for. The children were extremely excited and even though they followed the rule of opening one gift at a time, the gifts were opened in rapid succession. Jacob, who had succumbed to the pressure, had given in to being the one who got to hand out all the gifts, leaving only Amy left to get to do her special thing.

Santa's gifts had been left for last and after the boys' opened their gifts, the tree was empty. Jacob looked quizzically towards the two adults standing in the room and asked, "Where is Amy's gift from Santa?"

With a smug look on his face, Gil opened his arms, inviting Amy to come to him. Once she was in his embrace, "Well, Young Lady, Santa asked me to make sure you got your gift. It's not here, so we're going to have to take a ride. Do you want to go get it?" She smiled and nodded her head. "Okay boys, let's go get Amy's gift from Santa!"

It was Eric who asked, "Can we wear our jamas?"

Both adults chuckled, not even realizing that the five children were not dressed. Gill looked at Sara who simply shrugged. "Okay! Yes, you can! Let's go."

All four boys scampered toward the door, all carrying one toy with them. Sara grabbed Amy's doll and followed their crew.

A short time later, the minivan pulled into the driveway of their new home with all five children peering out the windows. As calmly as five young children could, they followed the two grownups into the house.

Once everyone was inside, Gil wrapped his arm around Sara's waist, making the announcement that filled his heart with joy. "We told you yesterday that we are all going to be a family. Today, we would like to tell you that this is our new home." Five pairs of eyes widened before he continued. "Now, Santa asked us to make sure that Amy got her gift and he said that she asked for her own bedroom. Is that true Amy?" She nodded her head, her eyes filling with tears. "Good. So, for our fifth special thing that will be happening, Amy, you get to pick your bedroom first!"

Amy's little legs carried her as fast as they could and she jumped into Gil's arms. "Thank you, Daddy."

He hugged her as tight as he could manage without hurting her. "You're welcome, Baby." He pushed the tears from his eyes and said to all of the children, "Okay, let's all look at the house together so everyone can pick out their own room."

Matthew's voice squeaked with excitement when he asked, "We get our very own room?"

"Yes, Matthew, yes you do."

All the while, Sara stood beside her husband, content that he had grasped his fatherly role as quickly as he had. She wondered how long he had harbored his desire to be a father and had no problem with watching him become the truly happy man that she had always wanted him to be.

They all headed up the stairs first and they showed the children their room, then the three others on the same floor. Once they had seen all four Amy quickly chose the room right beside theirs.

"Okay Eric, you get to be next and pick a room up here." They had decided that both of the younger children needed to be upstairs while they would leave the basement rooms to the older children. Sara had agreed to put her exercise equipment in their large bedroom to allow all five children their own room and Gil to have his office. After Eric chose his room the whole crew moved to the basement to continue their room choosing.

Jacob chose first then Matthew, leaving Peter to be the last to choose. So that he didn't feel less special than the other children Gil offered, "Now Peter, _you _get to choose between a bedroom down here with your two brothers or the room upstairs."

Peter thought for a few moments before choosing the room downstairs with his brothers. Secretly Gil had hoped he would choose that room so that his office would be away from the noisy game/play room when he needed quiet time to work.

"Okay, let's go look at the rest of the house!"

The children all ran as fast as they could up the stairs and were running into every room by the time Sara and Gil made it up the stairs as well. It was Matthew who noticed the back yard and the swing set first. "Wow! Look at our swing set!" The other four children ran to join him to peer out the back door.

An hour later they were sitting around the tree again, the children were chatting about their new house and playing with their toys. Sara and Gil leaned against the kitchen counter, coffee cups in hand, enjoying their new family.

"Merry Christmas, Sara."

"Merry Christmas, Gil."

They were lost in each other's gazes when a voice pulled them from their moment. "Excuse me"

They both turned to see Eric standing in the kitchen and Sara asked, "Yes, Eric?"

"I'm hungry Mommy."

Sara's response stuck in her throat. She had never thought she'd be a mother. Life had always led her in other directions and all signs had made her doubt this moment ever occurring.

Gil noticed his wife's struggle and answered, "We'll have lunch ready soon, Eric."

With a smile, Eric turned to head back to the living room saying, "Thanks Daddy."

Gil pulled his wife into his arms. "Well Dear, I don't think I've ever seen you speechless before." He heard her chuckle and felt the dampness on his shirt. So many times he had many her cry tears of sorrow, but now he knew her tears were of joy.

A month and a half later, after the sale had become final and renovations were done to the house to finish off the bedrooms, they were finally moved into their new home. Sara had turned in her backlog of vacation time and then handed in her resignation. Gil's early retirement had been accepted and he had gotten the new job he wanted.

Although the weeks had been busy with signing adoption papers, court appearances, packing, moving and making several appointments for the children to get into doctors and school, they had enjoyed every moment. Life was moving along as planned.

They had somehow adapted to parenthood quicker than either had expected and the children all easily accepted them as their new parents. Gil had found his time to work while the children were in school and Sara managed to get all of their errands done in between dropping them off and picking them up.

He was working on a crossword when he heard the garage door and quickly went downstairs to greet his wife. He shook his head, still not used to having her and being lucky enough to call her his wife.

He met her in the kitchen asking, "Hey Hun. Do you need help carrying in the groceries?" She looked very serious and his heart nearly sank. "Sara, what's wrong?"

"Umm…I need you to go shopping with me."

He walked quickly to her and cupped her face with his hands. "Sara, talk to me? I thought you went to the grocery store after you dropped the kids off? Where have you been?" Tears welled in her eyes and he pulled her toward him, wrapping his arms firmly around her. "Don't. Don't cry, Hun. Please tell me what's wrong."

When she pulled back from him, he realized she was smiling. She silently took his hand and placed it on her belly. "We need to go shopping for a crib."

He stammered through his response, "You're…you mean I'm gonna…and you're gonna…and there's a…I mean…you're having our baby?"

She smiled, that smile that lit his soul. "Yes. I didn't want to tell you until after my appointment this morning. I'm sorry I lied about the grocery store."

He laughed out loud, took her in his arms and spun her around. When he stilled, "That is the best lie I've ever been told. You're pregnant?"

She chuckled, reaffirming what she'd already said. "Yes, 7 weeks. I'm due the end of September."

"Sara Grissom, you make me the happiest man on earth. Don't ever think that I don't understand how lucky I am to have you in my life. I love you more than life itself and I promise to love and cherish you and all of our children until God takes my last breath."

"I know you will. And don't ever doubt how much I treasure you and our family. I love you Gil Grissom and you were worth the wait."


End file.
